Although a person claims they are deeply in love with you, but have no desire to have sex with you anymore...or at least in the near future, how should one react in that situation? He is my husband and I do believe he loves me, the relationship is great besides that one thing...however small it may be to him, it's very big to me! There is nothing I can do or say that will change his mind about the matter. No, he is not cheating or anything like that, you would have to know him to know that is the truth...he is boring, a nerd, very analytical and takes care of his responsibilities...he does things like a clock! While I find those qualities great about him, I need to also feel like I matter or am desired in his eyes! He would rather do the whole hugging and cuddling thing from time to time, but then that's it! I try to make a move, and he stalls, makes up excuses or his body all of suddenly begins to pain him! I am at my wits end as this has been going on for years now. I just can't leave though, we have many years of invested time and it would be ashame to wash it all down the drain. I'll try to hang in a little while longer because I love him so much, but my goodness...I need a release!
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Haha, just kidding. I was going to suggest marriage counseling or talking to him but I'm too late. Seems to me you just need to show him what he is missing out on. Seduce him, wearing arousing clothing and try to turn him on... If that doesn’t work then get a dildo.
Making love to your partner in any relationship is the only way to show your true love for them. Fun sex in a relationship builds and strengthens a couples bond. Your missing out on both these absolute necessary components to have a happy and loving friendship and marriage.
I have been married twice for over 20 plus years. My first wife passed several years ago. My second wife and I make woopy at least 3-4 times a week. And she is my best friend and buddy. I am 50 years old and my wife is 52.
Breaking news your not going to change this person no matter how much you try. Counseling is a joke the idiots counseling you have their own problems. He is who he is and a temperary change is not worth squat. Don't piss your life away. Its going to be real hard but it will be worth it. LEAVE HIM AND DON'T LOOK BACK!! You only have one life to live, so live it on your term and don't let another person take that away from you. I tell my daughter that all the time.
I thank you so much for your sound advice, it has given me a lot to think about. I have thought about leaving, but don't want to leave him in a state of despair.
Else have a booty call or smthg? If everything fails leave him, It's better than despising him later..
Hmm, I have actually thought about a booty call, but I don't want to feel guilty either! Thanks for responding!
Taking charge in that small way may be better than continually being short changed sexually and interpersonally by your husband.
If my partner said I was boring... I wouldn't be interested in working hard to pleasure them either.
It sounds like you want him to change to suit your needs. Perhaps that's the problem... You say you love him but... if you want him to change so much of himself, is it really HIM that you love?
Part of loving someone is loving the entire person - even the faults. If you want to constantly change them, perhaps you need to rethink what you feel, or perhaps what your expectations are.
You want him to be more sexual. And he's not.
Was he like this when you first met him? Or is it just a recent change.
I mean sure I understand wanting more sex... but if you knew he was like this when you married him... isn't this something you should have considered before hand?
In the beginning, we did have sex and although it wasn't often...it did happen so I didn't complain about the rarity of our sex life. Now, it's nothing...so I'd say this is worth complaining about!
there can be medical reasons, he might have a drop in his testosterone, which all but removes his sex drive. this is reasonably common.
did he ever genuinely like sex?
are you exciting in bed, did you suck him off etc?
Well, he was never a sex maniac or anything, but when we used to have sex, it was great! I was wild in bed...he never complained about my performance!
Do you have kids?
Is it small?
What's your two ages? That will help me
If you can answer the questions I can aces the problem
-No, we don't have kids!
-It's not small...to me, it's the right size!
-He's 33 and I'm 31
Why are you on a farm?