Is it normal to not want to see a dying parent?

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I accidentally voted no!! I meant to say yes it's normal.

i think you are normal.

everyone says that the mentally ill person suffers the most, but i, for one, do not believe that. i think that the family of a mentally ill person are the ones who suffer the most.

therefore, i am on you side. don't visit her if you don't want to.

She made your life difficult and in truth you will probably always have to deal with the coping mechanisms and issues you developed to deal with the problem when young. This will always affect you and it's normal to feel uncomfortable when the possibilty arises that you might have to put yourself back in that situation even under special circumtances.
I would suggest going if only to get some form of closure from the whole thing and maybe get some things off your chest. It's amazing what changes faceing the end of ones life brings about in people. She may have a different way of dealing with things or seeing things and even if she doesn't, you should have the opportunity to face what you both went through and try to resolve some of the emotions you may both feel before it's too late.

Some people never get a chance to say goodbye. If she has a mental illness, she really wasn't aware of how abusive she was being? But the bottom line is ; if you are okay with it, and you've made peace with not going to say goodbye, it's okay. You have your reasons, and you still have time to change your mind as well. Do what you can live with, that's all. It's certainly not an easy call and I feel badly for your delima and the life you had. GL friend.

I want to say thank you for all the kind and thoughtful comments, current and future. I'll keep watching.

If she hasn't handled life well don't expect her to handle death well. You have every reason to continue protecting yourself and remaining out of her way.

You came to terms with this to survive. Be at peace with your decision.

Well, the Bible says to "honor thy father and mother," so even if you choose not to visit her before she dies, I think you should honor her in some way. Afterall, she did give you life.