I'll keep this straight to the point.
My entire life, I've always had long, intense conversations with fictional book/game/anime characters in my head. I'll often laugh aloud, contort my face to the appropriate expression for whatever retort I have made or the character has made, and have even felt the urge to run and jump around my house out sheer elation at these thoughts. I enjoy them to those around me. I prefer them.
I've suffered from social anxiety as well. I have difficulty overcoming my nervousness when it comes to change. I hate any sort of change, whether good or bad.
I am extremely paranoid. I've developed an intricate way of thinking to dissuade mind readers, all composed of four levels. I constantly think like this. I can't stop. I also fear that someone is watching me most of the time, and will have anxiety attacks or cry out of humiliation if I catch myself doing something irregular or strange, even in the privacy of my own home.
I can also become very violent. I've broken the legs of both of my dogs out of irritation, and have asphyxiated one of them.
Out of all of this, I fear the need to move the most. Whenever I have conversations with my characters, I always feel like I have to move around. Run downstairs, jump on my couches, etc. What's wrong with me? I can keep up a perfect facade in front of others, and actually have very many real friends. I'm using this website to come out. Please help me.
My entire life, I've always had long, intense conversations with fictional book/game/anime characters in my head. I'll often laugh aloud, contort my face to the appropriate expression for whatever retort I have made or the character has made, and have even felt the urge to run and jump around my house out sheer elation at these thoughts. I enjoy them to those around me. I prefer them.
I've suffered from social anxiety as well. I have difficulty overcoming my nervousness when it comes to change. I hate any sort of change, whether good or bad.
I am extremely paranoid. I've developed an intricate way of thinking to dissuade mind readers, all composed of four levels. I constantly think like this. I can't stop. I also fear that someone is watching me most of the time, and will have anxiety attacks or cry out of humiliation if I catch myself doing something irregular or strange, even in the privacy of my own home.
I can also become very violent. I've broken the legs of both of my dogs out of irritation, and have asphyxiated one of them.
Out of all of this, I fear the need to move the most. Whenever I have conversations with my characters, I always feel like I have to move around. Run downstairs, jump on my couches, etc. What's wrong with me? I can keep up a perfect facade in front of others, and actually have very many real friends. I'm using this website to come out. Please help me.
Good Luck!
I remember "coming out"--admitting to my friends that I am type 1 bipolar. Half of them weren't even surprised hahah, and the other half, of course, found it shocking, but the human capacity to care runs deep.
Get another evaluation. Maybe even get a second one after that. If schizoid, take meds until you find a cocktail that works for you (I took several medicines before sumbling upon lithium, which is ideal for me). Most of all, find online and in person support groups, and therapy, if you can afford it :/ Relating to people in the same position as yourself will help you feel comfortable in every aspect of your life. Good luck, youll be fine soon :)
It might be a good plan to see your doctor, talk about how you feel and go from there. There may be help available before your life becomes unmanagable.
A great friend of mine suffers from schizofrenia, and upon hearing about your behaviour with the dogs, sounded genuinely worried and quite plainly stated that you need to see a doctor.
By behaving like you have, you may get yourself into all kinds of trouble, which needs to be addressed at once.
I wish you the best, and hope with genuine concern that you will hasten to see a doctor immediately.