sometimes i feel like jesus and satan are the same one and i am scare to go church because i feel jesus gives me bad luck like i think he is evil and hates me for some reason just to heer his name makes me leave. is it normal to think jesus and satan are one?
As far as Jesus and Satan are concerned, Jesus is the brother of Satan. Would you believe that?? But yes it's true, God made the angles first in ranks the Seraphs, Cherubs, Gabriels and lastly Michaels and then he appointed his created(not begotten) son Lucifer(meaning the god of light) whom you call Satan, to be their governor. Then he created his own self as spirit and called it his son begotten (the Jesus, you know). After this he made the rest of the world, but when God asked his son Lucifer to bow before the word (Jesus) he refused as he considered it to be a humiliation and God proclaimed that Jesus would be the king of heaven and his successor but Lucifer was totally wretched by that and he rebelled against God and from then on he is disturbing and destroying every thing that God or Jesus are doing, because of envy!
Satan took angles with him and engaged them in certain acts which would destroy god's works. Like his angles had sex with men in Sodom and Gomorrah, then his angles had sex with human girls and made human daughters pregnant, and their children were called genies, which had enormous power and were half angles and half men. God asked Noah to make an arc and save the world, just because he destroyed these genies, which were not his creation!!(Genesis, chapter- 6 Verses 1 till end of chapter).
When Christ became Jesus and came on earth, Lucifer wished that Jesus should obey him so that he could be his master and become the king of heaven, he tried his best till his last i.e. when Jesus was on the cross; devil spelled the rabbi to ask him to come down of the cross, if he be the son of god, but Jesus did not. And this fight between the begotten son, the created son and the holy god (their father) continues and we are just little characters of this time driven play.
You won't find that entire thing in the Canonical books of the church which is the Bible but in many other books kept at the Vatican and in the kabala. So this is the relationship between God his sons and you. Do not be afraid and remember that both his sons are present in you as good and evil. It depends on you whom you follow!! By the way, Are you an Anglican (the Church of England follower)?
A phrase that is used if you believe in god is god-fearing? Not normal.
Your normal though. Fuck the religion and live life the way you want to live it.