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Is it normal to want an abusive boyfriend?
40% Normal
14 Comments

Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted hot strong aggressive guy to just hit me, push me against the wall, and grab me so hard. I've always fantasized about this and it totally just turns me on. Is it normal to fantasize about having an abusive boyfriend?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (14)
find a guy who treats you good, but is into dominating during sex.
tell him you like it rough.

dont let a guy beat up on you for real tho. thats bad and you could get hurt. and thats no fun at all.
Fantasy is one thing. The reality of abuse is quite different.
@: Ollieo
well i don't want to get like beaten up
its more of a sexual fantasy..
i just didn't make myself clear enough
You know for some reason I always picture myself being treated like crap by a guy, and then I picture the making up part and how nice it is. Yea it's weird I know. I guess that's why I stay single.
Yes. It is normal, even healthy to have fantasies about things that could be harmful in real life. These fantasies might stem from previous situations that were frightening or scary that you now have a desire to work through, either consciously or subconsciously. They might stem from the repression of your own violent impulses. Or, you may be fantasizing about this because it is something that seems taboo or dangerous, and therefore thrilling. It is very common for people to have rape fantasies, etc. Remember, though, that in the fantasy, you are still in control of whatever behavior occurs. In real life, putting yourself in this type of situation can entail real physical harm, permanent physical or emotional damage, or death. If you want to explore this fantasy in the physical realm, I'd suggest learning about communication skills and boundaries, and talking to a sex-positive therapist. Then, finding a trustworthy partner who is comfortable discussing your/their needs & emotional well-being before engaging in any type of "play". Sadomasochism exists for a reason; just remember your health and safety are as important as your sexual exploration!!
I think it's normal to be turned on by strong, dominant, aggressive guys when it's about sex, in fantasy or real life. Like 90% of the time, I like sex rough. Maybe 99% of the time... whatever.

If you fantasize about the entire relationship being abusive without any sexual thoughts, I don't think it's normal. For me, the only area of the relationship where I like the guy to be (a lot) more dominant/aggressive, is in the bedroom. I like equality in all other areas. I like to think that's normal..
I can identify with this a little, and I agree with the first person who replied.

If that is your thing, find a guy who treats you like a princess in public, but a chew toy in the bedroom.

I have/had issues in that because of certain problems I have, many people tend to treat me like a touch-me-not andgive me my way.

I sometimes wish I had a guy who'd just slap me down and treat me like dirt, to put me in my place so to speak (and let me know on a mental level I am no different than anyone else)

Tell me poster, are you in a situation where you have power over others (like at work) or do you have a way about you that kind of makes people give in to you a lot? If so it might be that since you are "in control" a lot, in one form or another, you just want someone to take that control away from you by force.

It might be psycho-sexual. The Mind is the most powerful organ in the body.

October - Kitten in need of a whip at times.
@: Ollieo
Ollieo hit the bulls eye. Reality is very rarely as good as a fantasy. Leave this one in the fantasy world.
Rlly? word my gf told me she wants to b made cry during sex ive no idea why but eh i guess all femmes are jsut nuts j/k idk, it's good to know my girls not the only one tho she likes basically the same things as you hmmm...
Is it you????lol
Yeah, but if it's beyond fantasy, then no. It's not.
To say you want an abusive boyfriend sounds weird yeah, especially when that isnt what you mean at all, you want to be dominated in the bedroom, bit different to been head butted in the face. So for the love of god if you meet a guy, dont tell him you want him to abuse you, just let him know you like been man handled a little.
Im the same way. I like being abused in bed, and am completly submissive. You might wanna look deeper into the world of bdsm.
im a guy, if you give me $50 bucks ill beat you up