My family is christian,and they keep telling me that "God is #1 and he must be the thing you love the most."that lead me to ask my dad who he loved more: his family or god? he answered god,thats why i cant really be a christan,i love my famly more....and another thing they say is i must serve God and if i dont i go to hell so my options are be a slave or eternal damnation why cant i be free?

These strict objective codes and threats of eternal torture are nothing but empty paranoid delusions. You are not a slave and you will certainly not face eternal damnation for rejecting such fiction.
It comes down to your choice though; You can choose to act a slave and live by a dogmatic code, or you can live as the free man/woman that you are and build your morals on what you truly think is right.
when i was a christian I defenetly loved my family
more than god.
you can try sercing around the internet for guidelines, but there be beasts out there! :3
find your own path.
I choose atheism, so now I can direct my love only to my family and friends.