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Is my marriage normal?
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My husband and I are great partners when raising our child. We both work 8-5 M-F. When we get home we'll tend to our daughter, eat dinner, play with her or watch TV. But as soon as she goes to bed (around 9:30) he gets straight on his video game. We've talked about it over and over and he always says he'll be better about it. He even made a schedule of how many nights a week he'll spend with me and how many nights he'll play video games. But he never sticks to it. I've begged, pleaded, cried, bitched, and nagged and nothing seems to work. To me, the fact that we've talked about it and he knows how I feel and makes ZERO compromise tells me the game is more important than our marriage. I'm at the point now that I'm done bitching. Is this normal?
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Comments (9)
Well as a gamer, I can say that it's kind of a sticky situation.

Really some kind of compromise has to be met.

But the videogames act as a de-stressor, A way to vent frustration from Life, work whatever. And it wouldn't be fair to cut them off completely.

At the same time it's not fair for him to neglect you all the time.
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Who knows if he switches from video games to porn sites?
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@: orinoco
Not likely.
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He sounds like a man boy.
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handsignals
My sister calls me a Manchild.
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I agree with Shuggy-chan. It doesn't sound like you're that into video games, but maybe if you two found one both both liked and played together on? I find it's a great bonding experience to play with someone you love, even if you don't like the game that much.
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I didn't state that he did this before we had a child. And as a way to spend time with him I started it as well. We both are gamers. I went out and bought my own tv, system, and headset to play on. But once Here recently he's picked it back up. That's ALL he wants to do. I'm not asking him to stop completely. Just spend SOME sort of time with me... I mean, we don't even have sex because of the video games! What sane guy would rather play video games than have sex?!
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handsignals
Hey OP, just found out GTA V (first person mode) is coming out soon, don't think you'll be seeing much of your husband for a while.
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t's normal to have independent hobbies, but abnormal to indulge in them in a way that jeopardizes your marriage. And yes, to prefer video games to sex is very disturbing, if he truly feels that way. Try planning something fun to do together:watching a movie, making love, listening to music, etc and be very direct about what you want to do when you ask him to join you, try different options at different times and see what he accepts or rejects. Maybe he's weighing options (I.e., watching Friends reruns vs playing video games) and deciding that video games are better. At least if he's willing to our them aside for some activities, the next discussion can center around funding things that will both enjoy together and carving out time for those activities. If he chooses video games after you put on something sexy and very directly ask him to make love to you, you should seek couples. counseling
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