Throughout my whole life I've been molested or raped, and now I'm engaged to a wonderful man and he makes me more happy than anyone in the world. I live in Canada, and he's in the U.S, so we only get to see each other every so often, like once a week every 4-5 months. I have cheated on him before, and I've resolved never to do so again, but I can't help looking at other men! I never think about having sex with them, but I do get small crushes on some of my guy friends, although I never act upon it. I can't help but think being used in all my relationships, and the whole rape thing have something to do with it, but I honestly don't know. So this is what I really want to know:
"Is it normal for people in commited relationships to stare at other people, and possibly have crushes?"
That you find yourself attracted to other men is healthy. That you stare & crush probably relates to the nature of your committed relationship - just not much action there to meet your needs.
It disturbs me that you may attribute it to your previous abuse. I hope you get some help on that to get from under that shadow.
But honestly, I think the crushing & gushing is just that a long distance relationship can't last too long or possibly make you happy & fulfilled as a healthy women living in the present.