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Is this normal thinking?
39% Normal
19 Comments

I was hurt really bad by some "friends" when I was growing up. They abused my verbally practically my whole life. I thought that I'd been able to let that go as I had grown, but now I'm in collage and I find that I'm having strange thoughts about the friends I have now.

I can't take ANY kind of teasing. Even if I know they aren't trying to be mean or anything it still hurts. and when ever we go out together I seam to shut down. I'm a very outgoing person but when I'm in a group I just CAN'T make myself talk to them.

I have to constantly remind myself that my friends aren't TRYING to hurt me. But the smallest thing will hurt almost like they're sticking a knife in my chest. I hate living like this. Is this normal?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (19)
Chancator (13255)
2008-02-02 18:33:36
Sounds to me like you're just gonna have to take the time to get over it =/
Reply
JanIAm (10668)
2008-02-02 19:24:22
My experiences with "friends" during my early years was similar, so I also developed a sense of mistrust, particularly when in larger groups of people. The only way I was able to mostly overcome it -- and by the way, this took quite some time and a great deal of will -- was to develop a quick wit and my own style so that I had a rapid response for any kind of teasing, good-natured or otherwise, that came my way. Eventually, I became more relaxed and was even able to accept the fact that there would be some people who would just never like me no matter what I did.

You can't please everybody. But if you can please yourself and the people who truly matter the most to you much of the time, you're doing pretty damned well.
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flikr (10636)
2008-02-02 21:42:54
your too sensitive, you need to grow a pair of balls
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violent10dency (10988)
2008-02-02 22:35:43
We've all had problems with our friends when we were growing up, that's only because practically from the ages of 8 to 20 we thought we knew it all. I had some problems with some of my friends, but mostly my teachers, and other adults in "my church", and honestly I wasn't a bad kid, I was just different I guess. Now I've started to realize you can't really just be yourself as a child, but you can as an adult, get some time to discover who you are, and I'm telling you it will make all the difference.
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nearly (10533)
2008-02-03 04:23:46
@: violent10dency
I know who you are and I want you NOW!
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nearly (10533)
2008-02-03 04:25:39
I was once told a child needs to have two personalities. One for when thwey are with adults and one for their 'friends'


ALWAYS REMEMBER: You can please some of the people some of the time, you'll NEVER please all of the people all of the time!
Reply
nearly (10533)
2008-02-03 04:30:30
Another saying came to mind whilst making a cup of tea after I posted the above.

Trust no one, least of all yourself.

Thats one my mother taught me at a very young age and boy, how THAT has proved true.
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violent10dency (10988)
2008-02-03 13:41:53
@: nearly
damn buddy lol. you know what's weird my best friend is a gay guy, and I'm really confused b/c I don't know if i like him or not, and sometimes he flirts with me, and stuff, and I don't really get if he wants to have sex or not. So I guess that's normal huh? gay men can sometimes find woman attractive?
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weirdogurl (13270)
2008-02-03 15:09:58
@: flikr
I'm a girl...that won't happen.
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illetchofetus (7261)
2008-02-07 16:28:25
Wow, what an ass-hole. Why don't you learn to grow the phuck up? Just because he's having trouble with this doesn't make him a 'faggot.' Maybe your the fag for suggesting it. I hope you get better, sweat hear.
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illetchofetus (7261)
2008-02-07 16:28:51
Sweet heart*
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tornwithin (18040)
2009-02-17 13:38:05
ya my friends were mean and backstabbing throughtout my life now i cant trust ppl as well and i think ppl are makin fun of me when im around them and i kno their prob not or that i shouldnt care but it still bugs me deep down and my bf wants me to start trusting more cuz i get in fights with him and i have a hard time making friends.. i guess the best thing is to get help and talk to someone to get it all out i wanna try that cuz ya it rly does suck
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combatgal856 (13140)
2009-03-28 16:33:15
You have probably not fully forgotton about your past friends and the experiance has affected you deeply.
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atmmstrs1 (21666)
2009-04-09 07:34:53
i know how you feel...ive wanted to kill some of mine lol
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AmishPanda (21867)
2009-04-11 23:16:45
If you're a guy this is pretty common in male groups. The best thing to do is either ignore them and move on or get good at this "verbal joust" that goes on.

Ex: "Oh, you're gay you like dicks. You like dicks in your mouth." You immediately "admit" to how much you loves dicks and basically it neutralizes the insult. Repeated use of this will stop the targeted teasing at you.
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CoolKid (23690)
2009-05-31 12:36:06
Im also really sensitive and take things soo personally, i have the same probs with my friends. it sucks, but i guess im gonna just have to live with it and get on with it. can't help it, i'v tried changing but it will never work. Don't change just be yourself :)
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Ollieo (19003)
2009-05-31 17:23:14
Some nasty childhood "friends." Maybe it would help to talk to a college councillor. You could let your new chums know (privately as individuals) that you were dumped on a lot & trying to get past that, but for now are still a bit touchy about being teased.
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oquenbe (28566)
2009-09-25 21:48:17
dude let it go seriously i mean if i haven't seen half my friends for a decade the first words that would probably come out would be "hey dickhead" "hi shitface" you on the other hand i would want to be around you sound like a very friend controlling person and a freak
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darkmay7 (31250)
2009-11-14 13:32:19
my friends also backstabbed me when i was in elementary and middle school. i hate them and i wish their lives arent so fortunate.
anyways, you have to start trusting you friends because they are not the same "friend"you had in the past.

maybe you should talked to them and tell them that you dont like teasing much.
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