It all started with tekken

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I only play one video game ever, Tekken. And I'll tell you, I'm damn good. I am married and pretty much every day, my spouse and I would try to fit in around 50 rounds of good olde' fashion one-on-one combat. Everything was great until we had to say some things (that needed to be said) and to make a long story short, now we have to get a divorce.

That's not what I am concerned about though. It's how we're coping with the aftermath. Let me explain: it was "normal" when we were married to split up household chores with a 3 round tekken match. Typicaly it was, "loser of 3 rounds has to do dishes, ready?, go!" It was simple and efficient. Paul, as I will call him here cause that was his favorite character (I like Nina), would often end up doing most of the chores cause he hasn't mastered the art of the perry.

Now that we have a whole house and life to divide up as we go our seperate ways, Paul suggested we settle it the same way we settled the dishes. Who ever was better driver got to take the car, whoever knew more about art got to take the paintings, and whoever was a better decorator got the house. It has been making a pretty unhealthy and competitve enviroment, and the kids don't seem to understand.

Which brings me to the problem: who gets the children? We are both good parents and of course we plan to both spend time with them after the divorce, but this is a big decision. I wanted to decide custody based on who knew more about their lives, but after the kids drew up a questionare Paul and I both answered perfectly in all areas. So now we need a tie breaker.

Paul says it makes sense to go back to the root of it all, Tekken. Given my track record this would be an advantage for me, but yet, I am scared. Why would Paul suggest that, knowing I am far better at perrying? Does he know something I don't? Has he been practicing?

Yesterday I came home from work and he was sleeping on the couch. Something told me to touch the playstation, and upon further inspection it was warm to the touch. I asked Paul if he had been playing but he denied it.

I think he is lying. I believe he has been improving his skill in a plan to take my children away from me. I want to just call the whole divorce off now, but that is not an option. And now, a week from today, I am about to have the most epic Tekken battle ever. I've never been more terrified, and my hands get sweaty at the thought of it.

Should I go through with it?

Do you think it's normal?

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