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Just found out that my BF has a secret MSN account 4 the past 5+months
15% Normal
14 Comments

When we started dating, my bf closed my hotmail account and deleted all my msn contacts. Several months later, i did the same to him. He said it was okay to deactivate his account bcs he doesnt talk to anyone that much anymore. A few months later, we both made new msn accounts and only added eachother. But after about 5 months, last week, i found out he had another account where he had added his friends and some girls, and during all this time i had no idea that he had a completly different email. I kept asking him why doesnt he add me also instead of having 2 different emails and he told me that he will never add me on that Msn. I asked him why, but he gets so mad and yells and swears at me. I find it doesnt make sense. Im his gf of almost 16months, why should i be on a different msn whereas everybody else are on another one? Why doesnt he want to add me? It drives me crazy. I also feel betrayed bcs i did stop talking to my friends for him, and i didnt make a secret email and added everyone to it, whereas he lied to me and made me believe he did stop talking to them. His friends are bad people, that is why i wanted him to stop talking to them, btw. I dont know what to do, surely that isnt normal! Please help me!.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (14)
Orochi (12804)
2009-07-01 22:18:50
Dump him.
Reply
RowdyCowboy (24444)
2009-07-02 18:47:43
He obviously has another life and doesn't want you to be part of it- Why would stay with someone who is not totally open about his life? And then he yells and swears at you? Don't you see that as a bad sign?

Just move on with your life. Find a decent guy who has decent friends and a future.
Reply
serafina (24089)
2009-07-04 09:24:07
@: Orochi
but do u know why he doesn't want to add me to it?
Reply
serafina (24089)
2009-07-04 20:52:06
@: RowdyCowboy
thanks! I understand but its so hard for me to break up. I wish it were easier but it really isnt. And i feel that he knows that i cant leave him and he has all this power over me...!
Reply
Anonysmous (25386)
2009-07-10 20:55:56
Ok i'm a guy. He is embarassed of you or has another chick. Srry but thats the truth. He is hiding you for some reason and it's not good. Investigate and try calling him out on it. If you seem like you know he might cave.
Reply
serafina (24089)
2009-07-14 03:49:24
@: Anonysmous
but like his parents and sisters knows we're dating. And we lived together for 5 months til we moved back home and when i think he has another chick, cuz thats all i think about, i tell myself that his family knows about me so ... I dont know what to do!
Reply
Joce_28 (26178)
2009-08-10 11:02:02
It dosent matter if your and his family knows about you
he still might be with someone else
why would you put up with that and why would you dump all your friends for a guy?
please please PLEASE dnt put up with the shit he's putting you through its all very wrong and
you dnt have friends but he does and he's been hiding it? then swearing at you?
WTH
dn't you see how bad that is?
=[
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serafina (24089)
2009-08-10 17:56:35
@: Joce_28
I knoooww :( :( :( he treats me like shit, yet i LOVE him so much man!!! he went to toronto and cornwall and ottawa this entire week, he's been going out of town, and i hate it :(. I cant deal with this any more, i cry every dayy, but... i cant leave him, and its driving me so crazy!!! :(
Reply
serafina (24089)
2009-08-21 07:51:38
he says he needs his privacy too thats why he doesnt want to add me. But what the hell? Does that make sense??? Please tell me what you think of this!
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zerocats (27495)
2009-08-22 23:28:42
2 words for you..... dump him
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Justin_Case (29638)
2009-10-14 19:37:45
Dump Him Find A New Man
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hashbrowns (30551)
2009-10-30 22:57:31
u really need to consider urself in all this and ur health. put urself first for once (it seems thats wot hes been doing anyway) and move on. break away before things get worse
Reply
Jen118584 (30020)
2009-11-18 12:40:58
I just read this and number one, I can't believe you would forsake all your prior relationships for one guy. Why would you even have to? That doesn't even make any sense. This relationship was unhealthy from day one. You both don't want the other person to have any other friends or what? I am baffled.

Number two, I can understand your confusion as to why he won't add you to that MSN but I think it's silly to make a huge deal about it. You really shouldn't mind if he talks to other girls, you know, innocently and as friends. It IS a problem if he expects you to never speak to other dudes, though. That's just controlling and manipulative. I don't know how old y'all are but this all sounds very juvenile to me. You shouldn't be with someone that you don't trust at all. Isn't it exhausting to worry about it? You're only 18 I see, how much more time can you spend worrying about this and keep your sanity?

My advice to you, since you don't trust him and since it is my opinion that your relationship is unhealthy in the first place, is to dump him and try to get your friends back. Next time you get into a serious relationship, remember that a healthy trusting relationship should never require you to sever your ties with friends or family. You gotta keep your own life and your own identity.
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