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Just in it for the chase
37% Normal
17 Comments

I'm a college student but I've never had a bf. I've had many opportunities to be in a relationship, but here's the problem: I can never stay interested in a guy who likes me back. I can fall in "love" very quickly, but as soon as the guy starts to notice me and like me back, I'm repulsed by all his flaws. It's not the guy's fault because no one is perfect, but I convince myself that the guy is too ugly, short, dumb, etc.

I really don't want to be like this, but I feel like it's just the way I was born. However, this only happens with guys who like me back. I once like a guy, but he never returned my feelings so I ended up liking him for about 2 years until he moved. Please, how do I stay in love with a guy who loves me back? How do I accept the guy for who he is, including all his flaws. I guess I'm just a girl who's in it for the chase and once the game's over, I get bored. At this rate, I'll never be able to be in a long-term relationship. Please give me your advice! Thanks.
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Comments (17)
violent10dency (10988)
2008-11-27 13:50:44
Perhaps you should take a deep, hard look in the mirror and recognize your own flaws so then you will realize they maybe flawed but like all people you are too.
Reply
xquiziteyes (18027)
2008-11-27 20:28:59
@: violent10dency
I know that no one's perfect, and I fully realize that I have many, many flaws. I really don't know why I can't stand guys as more than friends. Maybe it's insecurity and I'm afraid of relationships?
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bitchy11 (18066)
2008-11-28 06:55:27
just stay with the guy
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violent10dency (10988)
2008-11-30 16:32:00
@: xquiziteyes
I'm afraid of relationships too, I'm very afraid to approach a guy and I tense up and can barely talk when a guy I don't know talks to me.

I guess I have no room to talk because when a guy attempts to "hit" on me I just stare at them like they are a complete idiot and I say nothing. My idea of the perfect relationship with me would be meeting a guy somewhere and having to be around them often like at school or work and actually both of us not liking each other and then we just slowly fall in love. The beauty of it is we would still get to know each other even if we disliked each other, but there would be no pressure at first to have sex. how romantic..... HA! Once can only dream.....
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firestar (18142)
2008-11-30 18:59:15
@: bitchy11
take some time to see how he really is insted of justchasing then leaving.
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pretty_poison (18206)
2008-12-07 19:34:00
Maybe these guys are inferior. Find a better class.
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hannahxowants (18567)
2008-12-16 18:10:32
I'm exactly the same way
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sayanything (18957)
2008-12-30 14:42:55
Wow, that's just like me! I liked this guy at school for a few months, and when he asked me out, he said that he liked me for soo long. I I told him that I didn't find him attractive and that I liked someone else... It's so weird, I fall in and out of love so easily! I feel horrible because I'm so shallow, but I can't help it!
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DeathReveng (19143)
2009-01-04 19:50:46
same but im a guy and a junior in high school...
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moepropane (16699)
2009-01-22 16:31:36
i am the same way..one day you will just find someone and not notice there flaws, and fall head over heals in love with him, till he breaks your heart.
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pink_apple (19481)
2009-01-25 23:34:42
This sounds like me! Even the bit about falling in love with a guy who didn't like u back for 2 years! What happens is you idealise the person and think of them so highly until they like u back and the fact that they are now accessible causes you to react with undermining them and seeing all their flaws when originally you saw the opposite. I'm like this because it is linked to my borderline personality (intense and unstable relationships) but for you it may just be a defense mechanism you have developed. If you are concerned, i know i have been like this for many years, you may want to speak to a psychologist to try and discover what the roots of this problem are :)
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bobthemuffin (19936)
2009-02-02 16:54:14
that sounds EXACTLY like me..
once the chase is over it's no longer enjoyable.
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WhyItsMe (20230)
2009-02-15 17:14:09
You seem to have an "outer shell" which you uses to keep your personality from escaping. When someone asked you out, you refused because you feel "vulnerable".
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Agrobomb (21126)
2009-03-20 16:49:40
All the time my friend
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Princess280 (22038)
2009-04-16 14:15:00
You probably enjoy doing the chasing or something, then once you realise the challenge is over, you get bored and look for a challenge elsewhere.
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pheonix11525 (22366)
2009-04-26 14:57:33
you need to watch that love doctor thing on vh1.
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bkdoubleu (28961)
2009-10-28 11:25:52
perhaps your a lesbian.
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