For as long as i remember i have had anxiety about foolish things that i have done in the past and it makes me wanna die or look for something to wreck, whether it be a person or thing, i even start to make audible noises of inner agony when i think of them. some of the things that i cant stop thinking about are
-once i has dancing with a girl and her friend walks up to us and says "having fun" and i just blurt out with absolutely no filter "damn you're hot" right in front of the girl i was dancing with
-when i was in kindergarten i had a very, very very short fuse, i was unable to finish my homework in class and i lost my mind, a freind of my walked up to meand tried to calm be and i gave him a knee to the balls
-it was the last day of eighth grade and a girl that i had a huge crush on was moving , i couldn't stop stumbling on my words and felt like a total tool.
am i normal for remembering all of the foolish things that i have done in the past
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you gotta move on, you're gonna make a lot of mistakes and all you gotta do is learn from them so it's all about experience. you've got a lot of experience bro, chill out.
hold onn i just rage smashed my keyboardd
I actually try to respond to the reaction in the past aloud to try to make up for it in the present.
This sounds kinda like yours.
Really no advice to give, just saying you're not alone with that.
Laugh it off, and think to yourself 'who cares' and focus on the present. Be happy :)
I feel your pain.
i used to agonise over a lot of things too, and most of the extremely embarrassing things were when i was growing up. but over time the anguish at the thought of them grows less... you forgive yourself. and those same memories have so little emotional weight now, as i'm not beating myself up about them anymore.
even newer embarrassments don't have the kind of long burn that the old ones did.
And then I can't stop thinking about those things and I work myself up into agitation. I start blushing all over. Then I can't relax and keep thinking 'fuck, I'm so fucking stupid, why did I do those things'.
Mostly they're social situations or situations where other people MIGHT hear about them and then secretly ridicule me or gossip. Blaarghhh. Really fucking stupid :|
I'm 28 now, but I still remember the most embarrassing blunders from when I was much much younger. Shit still happens to me every once in a while but that's rare, why?? Cause I prefer not to hang out as much. I would light up a doobie, grab my tap shoes, pump up some ill tunes, prepare some healthy munchies for later and start tapping, it will NEVER help me foget the past and I'll live with them memories till the day I die, but... while high on delicious haze I can reflect on the reasons for my being embarrassed and then try to reconcile the issues with logic and closure (at least I learned that lesson then and not now that I'm older)
Cheers!
that being said you may have a case of turrets if you often have no filter of words. if it only happens rarely, that's normal. I think all in all you just need to get laid, it'll cheer ya up.
There is nothing normal about that shit. So what?? You were embarressed a few times? Grow the fuck up, and all you other pussies enabling the little home...seriously?
Seek therapy. All of you.
Peace & Love.
I'm not sure if yours is the same, but maybe you could look it up online and see if you have the same symptoms.
Social Anxiety.
You think everything you do around others is just awkward, and you want to just KILL YOURSELF when something embarrassing happens, which you think is ALL the time.
memories forever, like a stuck vinyl LP. If your
memories are largely pleasant, that is "heaven";
in your case (if you have a lot of bad memories)you will essentially be in eternal hell when you die, your own hell as it were.
StrangeDuckDude what you said, reminds me of the movie Brain Candy by Kids in the Hall. The idea was a company developed a drug, that made everyone happy and feel as if it was always a perfect 70 degrees. Well what happened is, people were trapped inside their favorite memory and it would replay over and over and they no longer were able to function or live life. It was surprisingly insightful and somewhat disturbing, for a film by people who tend to joke about a lot of stuff.
This is called embarrassment lol.
I remember many moments like these, like a couple years ago me and my ex girlfriend were talking and my dog puked..