Are You Normal?
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Knock on Wood.
I have very little control over my thoughts. Whenever I'm given the opportunity to think, I am bombarded with every horrible thing I could possibly think of. Often these are worst case scenario things (ex, something horrifically bad happening to me, a loved one, a pet, a child, the world, etc...).
Every time I have these thoughts I need to knock on wood. It started out as an occasional thing, but now it has become so frequent that it interferes with my daily life. Sometimes I feel compelled to knock on wood even when I haven't actually thought of anythign bad, almost as though I was cancelling out some "subconscious" thought.
Just before I go to sleep, when I have these kind of thoughts the most frequently, I have to reach over and knock on the wooden floor to cancel them out. But every time I do that, my body "wakes up" from the sudden movement and it takes a while to get tired again. This has caused me to stay up as late as 5 in the morning.
I have tried telling myself to break the cycle and stop knocking on wood, but I cannot let myself for fear that my knocking really does have some influence on whether or not these fantasies will come true. I know it's irrational, but my mind won't let em take the chance.
And by the way, as I was writing this I knocked on wood several times.
Every time I have these thoughts I need to knock on wood. It started out as an occasional thing, but now it has become so frequent that it interferes with my daily life. Sometimes I feel compelled to knock on wood even when I haven't actually thought of anythign bad, almost as though I was cancelling out some "subconscious" thought.
Just before I go to sleep, when I have these kind of thoughts the most frequently, I have to reach over and knock on the wooden floor to cancel them out. But every time I do that, my body "wakes up" from the sudden movement and it takes a while to get tired again. This has caused me to stay up as late as 5 in the morning.
I have tried telling myself to break the cycle and stop knocking on wood, but I cannot let myself for fear that my knocking really does have some influence on whether or not these fantasies will come true. I know it's irrational, but my mind won't let em take the chance.
And by the way, as I was writing this I knocked on wood several times.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (3)
cookiegirl (27489)
dont let your mind control you, if you cant break that cycle on your own seek help
Reply
FlyingSheilds (28958)
Imagine rather than think. It'll clear your head.
Reply
cabinet70 (4440)
If these things are vivd enough write them down it might make for a bestselling book
Reply
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