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My brother and I are both adults, why would he do this? - 21% Normal
I'm a 28 year old female. I'm 7 years older than my brother who is 21. We've never had a close relationship, we are more like close acquaintances. I hadn't visited my parent's home for several months, I live two hours away and my brother still lives at home with my parent's. When I went down to visit a week ago and spend time with my family my brother was drinking a few beers that evening and I decided to drink a few with him. After having a few beers we decided to go outside to smoke a cigarette and it was getting late probably around 11 PM. We were just talking with each other but then it got weird after a little bit. Idk if he was drunk or what but he asked me if I wanted to walk to the barn down the road. I said, umm.. no why would I want to do that it's dark and creepy and it's getting late and I'm tired. He said oh, come on. It freaked me out and immediately my intuition started to kick in and I felt like there was something else going on. I quickly put out my cigarette and went into the house where it felt safer. He followed me inside, our parent's were already in bed, he said hey sis, I have a weird question for you, can I play with your breasts maybe more? I was like umm.. not just NO but HE** NO, are you joking around? I asked him how much he'd had to drink and he said 9 beers. At that point I'd had 3. (I should note that he drinks beer in excess, like a case or more every other day, so I don't think 9 beers would have gotten him drunk?) It freaked me out beyond freaked me out. When I told him NO he got very angry with me and called me a *itch. He then went into his room and slammed the door. I was so scared that I packed up my things very hurriedly and left my parents house immediately. I drove the 2 hours home that night in the pouring down rain because I was afraid that he was going to come out of his room if I went to sleep and try to rape me. I was going to be sleeping on my parent's couch in the living room all alone. My parent's don't understand why I left and I haven't told them the truth because I'm too embarrassed for myself and my brother. I don't want to visit my family again, I don't know what to do. This has really made me not want to have anything to do with my family. My brother lives with our parents and I don't believe that he'll be moving out any time soon. I can't imagine even speaking to my brother again after he disrespected me that way. Was this just a drunken moment or is this just really messed up? We are both normally sane adults. I should probably add that we are only half siblings although we grew up together so we have been in each other's lives all along. We share the same mother but not the same father. I am confused! I'm in a committed relationship so I don't know why my brother would even think I would have said yes to this strange request in a million years. PLEASE Help!
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Do not talk to your parents yet.
Call your brother. This will be a really uncomfortable conversation, but if you want to salvage any sort of relationship with him then talk to him. If you call him up and he's a jerk then you can talk to your parents. give him a chance to apologize for being a pig first. All guys have screwed up fantasies, but most of us arent dumb enough to act on them.
Everyone makes mistakes. Hopefully you guys can get over this.
If you tell your parents before you try to talk to him then you will never be able to recover from it.
I have called my brother and have talked to him about it.
I did not tell my parent's.
Thank you.
He's the one that has/is messed up & is totlally responsible for his behaviour and to change it.
However you approach this do not let him off the hook for what he has done and for making changes (boozing being part of the picture, counselling).
You have every right to demand appropriate steps from him or blow the whistle. No 2 ways about it.
My opinion?
If you are not 100% sure he was too drunk to think straight, then I'd say this guy is bad news. Sorry. If he could barely stand on his feet, I'd say 'This is a freak incident. Try talking about it with him, then try to forget it ever happened.' Honestly though. The way you described him during that night, doesn't sound like he was that drunk at all. Also... 9 Beers can make a grown man pretty drunk, so I'm also positive the alcohol had its influence...
In my country, we have a saying though...
"Small children and drunken people will tell you the truth."
Perhaps he showed his true colors? Again, he's your brother. I don't want to demonize him yet, but I would be very, VERY careful if I were you.