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My brother is an asshole
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33 Comments

I am twenty years old. My brother is eighteen. My parents have never disciplined him EVERY, I mean he was never sent to his room or ever told he ever did anything wrong. I live at home, my brother goes way to school. He came home this weekend and I begged him not to harass me because it always leads to fight. He has always harassed me my whole life. He makes comments about my breasts, about my appearance, he tells me to shutup when I talk etc. Well what did he do? He started with as soon as he got come. I completely lost it and yelled at him. My mom then yelled at me for yelling at him? Does this make sense so far? I am not speaking to my mother or anyone else in my family for that matter, because they think I'm the one who is crazy and they refuse to tell him to leave me alone or that he did anything wrong! However, a year ago I made a casual remark that him and his best friend were more than friends and gay and he lost it and yelled and screamed and kicked and punched me for a week, no joke. My parents blamed me for starting and ruining his "graduation week" However, when he makes constantly calls me a lesbo and says my boobs are too big my parents don't say a word and yell at me and punish me for yelling at him. Is this normal or do I have every right to hate my family?
Does anyone have any advice, b/c I need it!
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Comments (33)
Wow. I'm surprised at the comments you got back on this one. I disagree entirerly.

I think it sounds like your brother and your parents are the ones in the wrong!! There is no reason that he should be allowed to treat you this way. Even if he means these insults as jokes or teasing, you don't take it that way so he needs to respect you and stop! And he is far too old to be hitting you. You could get him thrown in jail for punching and kicking you. It is wrong and abusive. You don't have to take it.

I don't know all the details, obviously, but just because you are living at home and your brother is in school is no reason for you to be treated worse than him! It doesn't make him better than you or mean that he can abuse you.

You have every right to be angry with your family! I would recommend moving out to get away from them! (NOT because you need to grow up or something)

Good luck! (:
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Anonymous
Kick him in his fing nuts. Then go to his room and throw all his shit on the ground. Then threaten to kill yourself.. that will get your parents attention.
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Hi. I'm a little late to this but I hope someone can get some benefit out of this.
I think it's subconscious on your family's part. In most families, whatever the background, boys get away with more. They are allowed, encouraged to act like spoiled brats. And since the family subconsciously (and maybe consciously) believes this is correct, most boys and men will act this way the majority of their lives. Sadly for them, they live believing that this is their due. Trust me, this won't fly forever. Unfortunately most men don't realize it until way too late. I'm talking like 50 years old late. Why sad? Because they miss out on what makes life worth living. And yes other people do suffer because of their selfishness.

In your family, you as a girl are devalued in your feelings, opinions, thoughts, and existence.

I know this because I've experienced it first hand. I'm 36 and have only understood this lately in my own family's patterns.

The answer for you isn't an easy one. Stay true to yourself and your feelings and thoughts. Yes, you've been treated unfairly. But educate yourself, whatever it takes. It will set you free. TV and movies, yes are sexist and will not make you feel better or validate you. Rely on yourself financially and then you won't have to take anyone else's you know what. And be careful. You've been enculturated to devalue your own thoughts and feelings. Seriously, whatever it takes, go to college and educate yourself.
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You're 20 years old and still being punished? Next time your brother even says something negative towards you, tell him to shut the f*ck up, that he can burn in hell for all you care, and you hope he gets Aids from his gay boyfriend. If your parents try to take his side on that one, simply say you're sick of the BS, and ask what their f***ing problem is. Stand up for yourself and tell everyone how you feel about the situation.


And yes, get a job, save up, move out.
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Anonymous
I went through the same exact thing, and my bro and I are the same age difference apart, and he went away to school- same situation I lived at home until 22. [I was going to a really expensive school and had to live at home until I graduated, got a job saved and then moved out].
He used to call me bit@# and slut, and whore and would never call me by my first name. My parents NEVER did a damn thing- I think because they were afraid of him too. I'm 32 now and we still don't get along. My advice is to save as much money as possible and move out ASAP- get a friend to find an apartment with. Don't try too hard with him sounds like he was exposed to a lot of disrespect either at school or earlier in his life- that same problem that My brother has. I would never chose to be friends with my brother and just because they are family you don't need to be obligated- get out as soon as you can.
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No, this is a form of abuse. You have a dysfunctional family.

Get out. Not because you're 20, but because you are in an extremely unhealthy situation. Get out, distance yourself from those people and get into counselling immediately.
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sounds like your brother needs an ass wooping, nothing too harsh though, he just needs to know that he is not a kid anymore and the childish behavior will have dire consequences in the real world if he keeps it up
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Funny no one's noticed that maybe he gets treated like the perfect child is because he's a boy. Has no one ever met parents who only wanted a male child, and made their daughter's life hell for the 'mistake' of being a girl. Considering it's the father who determines the child's gender. Eh, I'd hit him back, what are they going to do? Or call the cops when he hits you. He's old enough, you know.
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The situation you are in is totally unhealthy. You're parents and brother are completely in the wrong. You really need to get away from them. Get a job. Move out. I did when I was 19. It may be difficult but if you have a job and some roommates, you'll make it. And really nearly anything is better than what you're dealing with now.
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This is a bad situation for you, and you should make every effort to get out of it as soon as you can. You're an adult now, and don't need to be putting up with this.
This is the result of a screwy family dynamic, and if you don't remove yourself from it you may have problems in the future. This is abnormal on your parents' part, and you are right to be angry with your family; that is very normal and healthy on your part. Use that anger and get out of there asap.
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Move out.

You shouldn't have to take such abuse. Verbal abuse is unacceptable. It is extremely difficult to live in such a hostile environment.

On a side note, it is possible that your parents and brother are hinting for you to move out. Maybe they do not know how to convey the issue to you. Perhaps the negative comments from your brother are to antagonize you to move out. Maybe he was privy to a conversation with your parents about you still living there.

Or, perhaps your brother is immature and is jealous that you still live at home. Your parents sound typical. I don't know why it is that boys always get away with unacceptable behavior in the home.

Regardless, I think you should sit down with your mom one on one and talk to her about the verbal abuse and how upsetting it is to you. I also think you should ask her if you are still welcome in their home or if it is time for you to move out. Bring the issue up to your father next. Good luck!
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"Move out,20 is too old to be living with Mommy and Daddy."

Who says? YOU. Yeah that's right! It's actually very common these days. In Europe kids stay with their parents until their mid 20's. But anyone, don't judge. Each to their own. Also it's a lot cheaper!
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Looks like your brother knows how to push your buttons. I hope your parents don't laugh when he starts hitting you. If so you might want to keep heavy things with handles around. Let him hit you, let him walk away, brain him. Tell your parents that you'll kill him if he lays another hand on you. --- But before it comes to that tell your parents to pay attention next time. When he insults you, call him on it. Be calm and pleasant. Don't treat him like a stranger, but don't be friendly. Don't let him bait you. When he says something rude just bat your eyes and say, "That was rude. Wasn't that rude?" You could even point out the number of times he's rude. "Why that's the fourth insult. What's next, hitting Mom?"
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kick his ass
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Anonymous
The older sibling is the guinea pig, the youngers are used to correct mistakes made on the older. I know from experience, but that's just the way it is. My now 21 year old sister never got on my nerves a lot, but my now 20 year old brother and i were best friends, but got into a lot of bad arguments. He got away with a lot of stuff I never did at his ages, but the past is the past. Just play along with him, that is the best way to handle a situation, rather than get mad
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Anonymous
Hiya hunny

I think you need to sit down with your parents and talk with them calmly tell them you r being treated unfairly. Remember not to shout. 20 is NOT too old to be living with your parents shut up other ppl!!!
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well for one thing you are so much older than me!
but i go through the same things...sort of..i will be talking on face book to my friends and he comes and harasses me (and he carries his knife) >:( luckily for you your old enough to move out so ask a friend if they want to get a apartment with you! and if he ever lays hands on you again, call the police, you may feel guilty about it but it for his own GOOD.

enjoy your life and dont let him get in the way of it!

<3 good luck Hun.
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Move out, you are 20.
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Anonymous
@: silence
Men a much more homophobes then women, thats why he won't have liked it, maybe the reason he doesn't get done is because he doesn't wine about getting done makeing it seem like he hasn't got done, you on the other hand probably will get the real face on and start thinking that you are the victim when ure just much mardier. learn to laugh at him as if your natrualy the better one in time he will get board and just not even talk to you, then give it a year and you will be gd friends, see how it works.
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Anonymous
Move out,20 is too old to be living with Mommy and Daddy.
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Perhaps your parents should stop cooking with cheese!
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ouch sucks for u.....why dunt u beat him up or push him down the stairs or sumthing? jus get rid of him or better yet u move out
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its a pit that your brother ain't got no respect for ya...

i always wanted an elder sister, i know she would have loved me so much....i would never have let her down.

but hey,just an advice: move out of the parent's house in 1-2 years,get a good job, find an apartment in a good area,etc..

and whenever your brother hits on you again,slap him hard. Make him know that you are the elder one..
for the less stupid jokes,just ignore them,if its too much, just say "walk away punk,before i bust ur little silly ass", with that look in your eyes and on ur lips....
works with me miss! all the time ;-)

best of luck, and may u patch up with the other child in ur house....its important really coz after the parents' they're the ones left of your original family
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100%% NORMAL! No doubt! my brother is horrible, he does anything to get on my nerves... and he's 20 years old!!!
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Don't listen to these cock gobblers that are telling you you're too old to live with your parents. Both me and my brother lived with our parents for several years after we got out of college (when we were 24-25). Lots of people do it, there's nothing wrong with it.

As for your brother being an asshole, yup, he sure sounds like one. Try putting some icy hot in his underwear. That'll teach him.
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I googled and found this article. I happen to be in that same position so I guess it's normal. I think most brothers just like to tease their sisters.

My opinion is that you should save some money and move out. Get out of there, it's only going to cause you more hurt and suffering you shouldn't have.
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And, great advice from the others. Seriously, do call the police if he ever touches you. Don't feel guilty about it, he'd do it to you in a second if he were in your shoes. Once he learns his lesson then you might not have to do it again. If you think your parents will throw you out for this, you'll have to be prepared for that. Get some school loans and grants and a roommate or two and go to school. And then try to be around your brother as little as possible. Please DO call the police if he ever physically threatens you. Do not stand for it because it won't stop unless you make it stop. His behaviour is definitely WRONG.
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Dreamboat
Grab his nutsucks and squeeze real tight and pull until you have his testicles in your hand. Then go outside and yell as loud as you can many times "FATALITY!!". Hope I helped!:)


That should get your parents attention....
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Your story sounds exactly like mine. I'm 20 and my brother is 18 and he is an asshole (i told him so). You have every right to hate your brother and family.
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Here's some advice, for one I can explain your brother in a psychological manner, Gay people, excuse me I'm sure he's not a happy one, Homosexual men are comfortable with girls, but how he acts towards his sister is a bit pathetic, I would just kill your whole family then slit my own throat (loljk), Now I'm not exactly how to put this, he is a bit beyond abnormal, the only person who would accept him is a homosexual counterpart since to find a significant other of the same sex is quite rare. Now he doesn't like being called gay because A) He denies it, B) He's just a homophobe beyond homophobe. Who hasn't matured enough past verbal remarks, but what do you expect from a deep throater?

Ok anyways, now your family is biased on favortism, either A) Ur ugly, ur parents arent and where not, and your brother is ok looking or w/e.
B) Your parents had far more problems raising you then him.
C) Your brother sleeps with your mother and your dad is too pussy whooped to see it.
D) You parents are of a rare psychic psychopath genre they have this abillity to be retarded and undereducated yet can sense their own kind.



Your solutions,
A) Jump your brother one night hospitalize him, make sure he knows it wasn't you and chill in your house for a lil maybe smoke a bowl.
B) Get a job and move out the second you're moving say "Bah-bye Bitch, oh and don't think I forgot about you faggot father, I'mma go smoke some weed and get drunk have fun being banged by "bros name here" Mom u fat hooker bitch." And never speak to them again problem solved! well ones temporary.
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OH YA, he comments your breast because you're either sexy as fuck and he wishes he could have a girl like that, or doo doo doo, btw your parents wont think highly of you, if your too hot btw they will think u might be a slut so who cares.

Just mine 2 cents r u hot :O u should so email me if u r id masturbate if ur LOLOLOLOL JK
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Anonymous
remember that when your parents are gone, all you will have are your siblings. this is hard to realize when you are young. it is normal to practice ways of dealing with conflict with your siblings. we all do that. but finding ways to get along is more challenging, and more important. it sounds like both you and your brother may have too much time on your hands. throw yourself into lots of activities and work to save the money to move out.
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Anonymous
Have you noticed that perhaps the reason your parents treat him differently (maybe as more of an adult, shall we say? although he may not act like it with you) is because he is the 18 yr old son who went off to school to make something of himself, while his 20 year old sister stayed home to---do what??? rely on big boobs and mommy and daddy's money the rest of her life???

sweetie, move out, get a job, and just grow up. aight?
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