My best friend ever is dying. He is only 18 years old and terminal on cancer. I still cannot believe I will lose him. I am searching for alternative treatments, better hospitals, better doctors. But all doctors guarantee me there is no ‘miracle’ treatment for him, they tried everything within the medical possibilities. Still I cannot accept defeat, I cannot give up. I gave all my savings away to new search projects, hoping they’ll find a cure in time. I tried all strange things possible, I prayed to all the different Gods I could find in religions, I have sold my soul to devil. I spoke with priests and ‘witches’ to make healing magic on him, even good voodoo. Yet I have no idea if any of this stuff will work. Some people tell me I became paranoid. Even his parents pleaded me to stop, they told me to stop harming myself and that they accepted their son’s destiny. But my sick friend tells me to continue, he is grateful that I try, he thinks I might find a cure, even if it’s some strange spiritual thing. Should I try until the end? Or am I indeed becoming paranoid? Above all, my friend asked me to suicide if he would die. The first time he was delirious with fever, but the second time not. He told me he was afraid of being alone after dying. He wants a friend ‘on the other world’. Should I even contemplate killing myself, if he ends up dying?