I dont want to put a downer on you but you are currently going through a stage of greiving: the point where you will do anything, i hope you can get through this healthily until you finally reach acceptance (before that will come denail, anger and possibly numbness) but i hope you know investing too much effort may only hurt you more in the long run. its perfectly understandable as to why you would go to such lenghts.
My friend is dying.
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