My friends never contact me

9 Comments

hmmm does it matter? would u rather be alone on some egotistical shit or have someone happy to hang out with even if u do have to seek them out?

Same here, my friends suck. I think because I've had so many medical problems in the past year they don't want to see me. It probably isn't true but, I hate initiating things and I wish my friends made more effort to see me/talk to me. :(

Some people are disorganised!

And also, people have expressed great dislike in wasting money for small talk.

Offer your friend support, help when they need it. Things like this will bring you friends closer and more open to talk to you about whatever they need to. They will have things to talk about eventually.

Good Luck.

I am in the exact same situation and have been for a very long time. It makes you feel like you don't have any real friends and it sucks, but don't think it is your fault. Your friends probably don't even realize they are doing it.

Its mostly just become an expectation that you be an initiator - a role that you play and are given by others. If every time you saw your girl friend you gave her a flower, how long would it take for her to simply expect that of you? Not very long. Same deal.

Also, people may assume that when the initiator is not initiating, they just want time out.

But as you also point out, some people are just lumps & are inconsiderate. And its fair for you to expect some reciprocity.

Rather than waste time experimenting with them, you could start to broaden your social circle. After all, you have the social & leadership skills

that is just like me and when i go out with 2 people i was friends with they leave me out of convos and its all bout them and everything so i have giving up on them now even thou 1 of them still thinks she can use me when something goes wrong with her family, boyfriend or the other girl im on about and when i do arrange things they all cancel on me at last min when ive left my house.
and i agree you should just make new friends and keep the ones who do talk to you just not them who dont talk to you

Hello there. I'm afraid even making friends can be brutally statistical. I'm going through this stage at the moment and I recommend that you proceed with this experiment and see what happens next.

Friendship works both ways and it doesn't work if you're the one initiating all the time. I suggest you make more friends and hopefully some of them will start initiating the time-out with you. It's just a lot more fun if you know your friend's there becaues they really wanna see you and not because you happen to give them something to do.

I have had the exact problem for a long time. Over the summer I stopped texting, calling, facebooking my friends for a little experiment. Within 2 weeks I started getting phone calls and texts. My friends asked me why I was being so quite, so I told them I was sick of making the plans all the time and that they should step up. So finally they did.

You just have to speak up next time if they ask why you're being quite or if something is wrong. I hope this helps you :)

Not sure how old you are but I am in my 40's and this has been the story of my life with pretty much any group of friends that I have been involved with. It seems like I get together with a few people who act like friends,initiate things and then just slack off. If I call to suggest something they are fine and happy to see me but then nothing until I initiate something again.So frustrating! Laziness? Familiarity breeds contempt? Fickle human nature? I don't know. This has happened with different groups of friends over time with the exception of just a few who have become close friends. Maybe this is the way people naturally are? I am not clingy or overbearing at all and am not in touch with them so frequently that they would want to avoid me. I am just as confused as you are. Especially those who have a child my child's age and our children are still friendly through school. Weird!!!