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My meaningless, depressing, painful life
80% Normal
10 Comments

All I want to do is be under the sun all day doing fun things like hanging out with friends, biking, camping, etc.

I'm 23 but I feel like I'm 18 doing 23 year old work.

I want to go travelling, and see the world.

But right now I'm stuck dreading work every single day of my life. Even during weekends. It's a great Sunday outside and I'm sitting here typing on my laptop because I know I have a tight deadline coming up and I probably won't make it. I hate my job. My life is currently meaningless, with me wishing that each week will go by faster so that I will be over each of the audit files that I'm working on. It seems like it will never go away. I can't wait for the summer because by then I won't have too much to do except study for my designation exam.

I hate auditing. I hate accounting. I have no idea why I chose it in the first place. Well yes I do know why. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so I decided to do stuff that not everyone can. So I transferred to commerce. I took accounting because it's easier to find a job and it's prestigious to tell someone you work for a multi-national auditing firm. La-dee-da.

I have tight deadlines and client commitments but all I'm doing is running away from my problems. I don't do the work and hope that it will go away, but it always comes back to bite me on my behind. I wonder when I'm going to get fired every week, since the economy is bad and my performance is mediocre. I don't get along with most of the people at work. I am disorganized and lazy, and very inefficient at my job. I am utterly depressed, always feeling tired, snapping at my family during every conversation, and utterly ignoring most of my friends. I'm downright miserable and I'm just waiting for another year so that I can quit my job and go travelling (so that I can get a designation out of this whole ordeal and hopefully get a better job in the future).

I have no idea if I made the right choice but I think I'm too weak to go through this suffering any longer. All my coworkers hate their jobs and they have way busier schedules than me, but they seem to be holding out under the pressure. I'm just weak.

OMG I hate myself too.
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Comments (10)
Reet123456789 (20364)
2009-02-19 00:32:37
I can understand your situation and very well relate to it. I know we usually end up studying/working things which we feel will be good in terms of "name" or money. I really think you should look at your life from a fresh angle, its never too late and you are just 23. its just the beginning. think how would you feel when you are 33, do you still see yourself working in this field. Don't feel you are weak, weak are those who are stuck and dont want to change. you can and take anything which interests you even if it is very small.
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kmj99 (20776)
2009-03-06 12:52:03
@: Reet123456789
ok i kinda have the same problem yea its nornmal i mean i have a bff since like forever and now she has ben a totla BI ch and she acts like in not important anymore so i do understand
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andrian007 (21330)
2009-04-11 11:12:42
As far as I understand it, you only have one problem: You hate your job. Even in current economic climate, when people get fired, lots of them see it as an opportunity to try something different. It's clear that your job, whatever the salary and prestige that comes with it, is not for you. Wait till the recession is over and then start looking for another job. And please don't shun your friends, they are always there for you and you should be able to share your problems with them all the time. I'm sure they have even better advice then I do.
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deedledee (22850)
2009-05-14 18:57:14
It's hard to say right now with the economy the way it is... but you really need to find another job! Even if it takes awhile, you might feel better just knowing you are attempting to move in a different direction. If you don't like accounting, go back to school and do something else. If that isn't an option, just keep searching for a new job in a completely different area. You might have a degree in accounting, but I'm sure you are right for many other jobs. Good luck, and remember, you are NOT alone!
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housecat (22932)
2009-06-11 15:55:06
Try reading The Power of Now. And also, quit your job :). Be a bum for a little bit. Reconnect with people.
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normal125 (26831)
2009-08-08 16:42:10
Listen! I mean really listen! You need to get out of that CAREER, not job, but CAREER!

I am 46 years old and hate, I mean really hate accounting. I have been doing this for about 13 years and just hate it tremendously. I got my bachelors degree in accounting and sucked in my major , good sign that i really wasnt cut out for it. i did it because i wanted to be a "professional" , people would look at me as a smart person, help my self-esteem, etc. well it SUCKS! i wish i had done something, anything else but accounting. the day to day job of meeting deadlines, boring number crunching, coworkers who just hate it as well! true! most people i have met in this work hate it as well, working for the weekend. YOU NEED TO GET ANOTHER CAREER! you are only 23 and already hate it. imagine the same crap for the next 40 years! DONT DO IT! your health will pay, i know personally. i have only done this for awhile, i am now currently chasing online marketing opportunities to replace my income which is not bad but no amount of money can numb that monday morning feeling. GOOD LUCK
Rob
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spongebobb (25852)
2009-08-23 08:29:45
It probably doesn't feel like it 23/24 is still very young. You have time to make a career change, so just do it. You already have a degree so getting a new degree will be much faster/easier. Maybe get a job that allows you to travel and be outdoors since you like that. Or maybe a job that allows you to work from a home office.
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Ollieo (19003)
2009-09-16 06:54:54
Good advice here. Try to get some perspective on this and stop the self-sabotage & doing things to drive yourself mental. You don't like your career choice - you hardly need to procrastinate, dump on yourself etc. to make that point clearer.

You are very young & managed to establish yourself in a decent profession. You don't like it. So make a plan. What will it take to move on & where would you like to go? Try to think of occupations that don't require the long hours & short deadlines & chew up your personal time.

Also it is normal to like the out of work activities you do, and to want to travel. You give me the impression that you are kind of a round peg guy trying to fit into a square hole. Frustrated, and occasionally overwhelmed & depressed.

But you must have a lot of talent & I bet will find a new path for yourself. Once you do, you'll be grateful to have been honest to yourself about how things, as they currently are, just suck for you.
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chris460 (29549)
2009-10-08 20:12:28
I hear you! I was in a similar situation. Got my accounting degree and started at a Big 4 firm straight out of college for the same exact reasons you mentioned. Absolutely hated it! Everyone was miserable including me. I want to tell you that it's not your age. You're not going to get older and somehow enjoy sitting in a back room with no windows staring at spreadsheets for 12 hours a day. I was 29 years old when I started there so I had a pretty good idea about what I was good at and what I wasn't good at. So, after being there less than a year I jumped from accounting into construction management. What a relief! I was finally working in a field where I could excel. It wasn't perfect though. Still long hours and tough deadlines. One of the things I noticed is that as an auditor I was continuously poring over somebody else's numbers. These numbers had no life to me. I could care less. I'm not saying you should go into construction management (especially in this economy) but my point is that you should get the hell out of there....especially at your age. There are so many fields out there where you can be yourself and excel. You're not lazy. You just hate what your doing.
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