My son is 15 and he has ADHD and he is on medication for it and I see to it that he receives special services at school. I don't doubt that he needs the help and I love him very much, despite anything that he is diagnosed with. He is a very smart boy but he has some troubles.
However, he acts like a 5 year old. He throws temper tantrums and cries and kicks and whines like a little baby. I understand that he has ADHD but I think that I need to lay down the law with him and enforce good behavior. I don't mean that I want to hit him, but be stern with him and not feel the need to run out of the house and buy a new toy after he breaks one of his, or do his chores for him because he is too emotional to work up the energy to do them and then he just "forgets" and goes and plays his video games and makes excuses. I want to unplug the game
My wife lets him do this! She tells me that he will just grow out of it and that I shouldn't be hard with him because he has ADHD and he can't help his behavior! The problem is that I have a strong feeling that most of the time, he does this because he knows he can get away with it and my wife won't let me say a damn thing to him! How will he grow out of it and learn if I don't teach him? She says that he is still just a child but he is 15!
Is it a normal thing for a wife to not want a husband to discipline their kid, when the kid has something like ADHD?
However, he acts like a 5 year old. He throws temper tantrums and cries and kicks and whines like a little baby. I understand that he has ADHD but I think that I need to lay down the law with him and enforce good behavior. I don't mean that I want to hit him, but be stern with him and not feel the need to run out of the house and buy a new toy after he breaks one of his, or do his chores for him because he is too emotional to work up the energy to do them and then he just "forgets" and goes and plays his video games and makes excuses. I want to unplug the game
My wife lets him do this! She tells me that he will just grow out of it and that I shouldn't be hard with him because he has ADHD and he can't help his behavior! The problem is that I have a strong feeling that most of the time, he does this because he knows he can get away with it and my wife won't let me say a damn thing to him! How will he grow out of it and learn if I don't teach him? She says that he is still just a child but he is 15!
Is it a normal thing for a wife to not want a husband to discipline their kid, when the kid has something like ADHD?
Fuck the police.
His mother/your wife is spoiling him by letting him have whatever he wants. He UNDERSTANDS that mommy will protect him from daddy, just like you said. You're right, she's wrong, and somewhere inside she KNOWS she's wrong.
If this isn't broken NOW, he may end up living there beyond the age of 18, playing XBOX4 and unable/unwilling to hold/get a good job and move out into the world.
He is violent, immature, angry, gets away with everything? What? He killed the next door neighbor's dog? Don't worry, he'll grow out of it.
Ugh.
Tell her that he is your son aswell (assuming he is both of yours), and that you are not happy with his behavior, that he isn't being taught respect. Yes, he has a dissability, but like all children he needs to be taight responsibility and respect. If your partner isn't allowing those lessons to be taught, then she is a bad parent.
However, in my opinion (from personal experience with my brothers), it is much better to set strict boundaries. Firm parenting will churn out a better person in the end. Whereas a lifetime of coddling will leave your son a man-sized child who is unable to have a happy grown-up life.
The first thing all children try to do, is divide and conquer and he has succeeded.
Your wife is wary that, maybe as a man, you will be too aggressive with him and you two may butt heads. However, she has no need to reward his bad behaviour either!
I find it surprising that they can spend many hours on these games but can't spend 10 minutes doing homework?! I think this is just teenage monster-hood (I have a son of 15yo who may be lucky to see 16yo if he keeps up his behaviour!) Of course, he may grow out of it and be a normal respectful person again or he may continually get worse until he finds your wife's limits.
As a female, I would worry that she is bottling up her anger with him and someday both you and he will return home to find her gone. She is not impervious to his cheek and nastiness, she may be just biding her time until he's old enough to leave. I know that this is how I feel at the moment :o(
Silly little teenage boys don't know when to STF Up!!
but strangley never the girls .