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Need a little advice
4 Comments

I am a 20 year old man and I have been feeling a little depressed. About 9 months ago my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Needless to say it's been hard for me to deal with. I was just starting my Freshman year of college and i was having to deal with all these new feelings and responsibilities. I was/am super stressed out about school and a job and all that comes with starting life on your own. I got into a serious relationship at such a young age that I'm not sure how to deal with being on my own. When most people are trying to discover who they are I was busy giving everything I had into a relationship with a girl I thought/think I love (I'm not sure of anything anymore). I feel like I don't know who I am without her. She is/was all I knew. I never really had more than one or two close friends. But now I find myself pushing everyone further and further away. I try to go out to parties and to meet new people but they never interest me. I always end up comparing people to my ex. The real kicker here is that my ex has a new boyfriend (they started dating 5 weeks after we broke up), but she stills calls me and sends me text messages. I feel this obligation to be there for her, but every time we talk I just feel even worse after. I feel pathetic that its been 9 months and I still wake up everyday thinking about her. I just want to feel alright. I want to be able to go through one day without feeling miserable. My life just seems so dull now, like nothing really seems excites me anymore. I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for a little pick-me-up or some advice on how to get my life back on track. Thank you for hearing my story, I appreciate your concern.
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Comments (4)
hotchickie81 (24721)
2009-08-06 05:35:34
Frig, that sucks. First off, sorry to hear you're feeling so down. I know what that's like. I hope you can move on and get over her. Maybe it would help if you didn't talk to her for a while. She broke up with you, so you shouldn't HAVE to feel you have to always be there for her. I know it's hard to move on (sometimes it feels almost impossible), but I hope you can find the strength to do so. Good luck! :)
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mrgrim747 (26656)
2009-08-06 19:02:51
im 19 (guy) and what i have to say to you is....SMOKE UP! no but seriously you need to keep your chin up TRUST ME the tide will change i don't want to get into any emotional crap but don't cut yourself, don't resort to drugs, and DON'T take yor anger out on other people...be strong.
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crazy1331 (27023)
2009-08-12 22:10:56
It sounds like she is keeping you for a back up in case her current relationship goes sour. She broke up with you. So its about time you broke up with her. Let her know either she is with you or nothing. She is playing with your heart by keeping in contact. Dont so much about finding another girl right now. It sounds like you need to find yourelf. Be single for a while and find what makes you happy before you have to worry about anothers happiness. I agree with mrgirm- SMOKE UP!! Weed is good for you. check out NORML.org
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WayOutThere (27021)
2009-08-19 16:32:57
1. Stop talking to your ex; she broke up with you--you have no obligation to be there for her. And, don't keep hopes about winning her back. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
2. Start dating other women, but don't get into another serious relationship, and don't compare them to your ex. You should not be looking for long-term relationship qualities, right now. Wait until you have fully recovered.
3. Learn to be independent; you are probably pushing people away because you are being needy.
4. Otherwise, put your main focus on your studies and job.
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