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Not enough sex
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48 Comments

Alright, so I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We still love eachother, and tell eachother all the time. Problem is, we have little or no sex. I'm not sure why because when we first started dating we were constantly on eachother. It's not like it's not enjoyable, we just dont do it often. And when I say not often I mean every couple weeks. We still spend a good amount of time together, or we have a short conversation on the phone before we go to bed if we didn't see eachother that day. And here's the thing, when I try to initiate any kind of sex, his excuse is usually "I'm watching tv" or "not now". Another thing that really bugs me is that he doesn't like to KISS... its not that he won't, but he avoids this. I'm not sure if I just have terrible timing, or I'm missing something. Any suggestions?
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Comments (48)
when men ask for sex and woman reject it it's normal , but when it's the other way around a man must be cheating/drug addict/or frigid...
you asked for equal rights , there you have them , we can reject sex these days just because we don't feel like having sex , and yes , contrary to the popular belief , men aren't ALWAYS in the mood .

p.s. try spicing up your sex life by doing something u didn't wanna do before in bed, widen ur horisons
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anotheruser1
someone finally agrees with me. thank you
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violent10dency
Some guys are just like that. I need a guy who is affectionate though, but sometimes they are kind of hard to find. I would keep my eyes open though it is a possibility that he may be cheating on you.
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he loves you and therefore doesnt want to give u his STI
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Sweety,

Your so called man is either, A cheater, tried of you, gay, or on some kinda drugs. They are all bad. Run like hell and go get your world rocked!!! You are wasting your time with him. Real men cannot go to sleep next to a women they are attracted without trying something!!!
That is why we are called dogs. Your mans a pussycat.
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Don't listen to that person. They have no idea what a meaningful relationship is anyway.
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He may be cheating. He may be gay. Or, you don't turn him on. You should strip or something. men cannot resist that!
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i need sex a lot...
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ask for more sex, if he can't work it out for you then dump him and get a new bf.
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you are not compatible so move on it will only get worse, dont listen and you will eventually find out
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cabinet70
A lot of guys may not be overly affectionate but there is something seriously wrong with a guy that knocks back sex on a regular basis. Are you sure hes not a closet homosexual
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violent10dency
LOL. I think its normal for a guy to not want sex every night after being with someone for awhile. Try spicing up your sex life with some toys or new moves or something, buy a sex for dummies book or listen to that old lady on the radio that gives sex advice.
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I agree, try different things and spice up the sex life. Try hot shower with fragrance oils, candle lights, sex toys etc. Make it exciting, both of you will like enjoy.
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Being a male in the same situation! I had to seek treatment because I was addicted to sex! Sounds Strange? It's because I was interested in Porn on the computer, On the phone with other women, Cross-dresssing etc. I sought sexual gratification in so many ways it took away from the intimacy of my best friend, My wife! Open your eyes, your ears, be observant and/or just ask him! If you know him well enough, you'll know if he is being truthful! It ruined a 23 year marriage of mine! I now have new wife and I she is aware of my problem! It is an ongoing commitment to therapy! If I stop going, I will probably start up again!
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we can talk straight as we will never meet, do you always do it the same old way? or do you try different ways? it could be a lot more interesting and exciting if you did it different ways and places.
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I had to go back up and read the poster's name, because I thought that somehow, in my sleep perhaps, that I had written this !!!

My boyfriend and I have lived together for 7 years now. And for 5 years, he's really just gone flat - not affectionate, hardly any sex (once a week was a miracle, but two or three times a month was typical), barely spent any free time at home. He's not the type to cheat (no, I'm not blind), and was raised in a really unaffectionate family, so I blamed it on that. But I was still miserable. And a month ago, I finally snapped. I told him it was over, that I couldn't like that way anymore, because it hurt me to live every day thinking he didn't care (even if I knew in my heart that he did, it didn't feel like it).

Needless to say, he had a total breakdown - he cried ! I mean really bawled to where he couldn't even catch his breath. I felt so badly, because I've never seen him cry (or really show ANY emotion, to be honest). But he asked for a chance, and I said we could start over, date - you know. Not just live together like an old married couple. And shockingly he's improved dramtically. He brings me flowers at work (and I work 30 minutes from home), cleans the house, hugs and kisses me all the time, goes places with me and...drumroll please.... we have sex so much I can barely walk. I mean every single day, and most days 2 or 3 times. And HOT sex too, not just his typical roll on, get off, roll off and go to sleep stuff.

It's a Christmas miracle !

Needless to say, I can say that what's going on with you is fairly common - I'm a little concerned that it's happening after only a couple of years though, because boredom shouldn't really set in that quick.

Make your concerns known - tell him that you need certain things in a relationship, things that are normal and not extreme, and ask if he thinks he can do those things or not. If he doesn't think he can, they he's not willing to work at it. Cut your losses now !
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hes just one of those guys who dont have that much urges for sex, hes more emocional guy
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That's marriage material you have! You should be so lucky! He loves you for you and not just for the sex. Sex is just a feeling... Do you love him more or do you love the sex more? You can get sex anywhere. However, you can't have him anywhere. Consider yourself very fortunate! You have a wonderful guy! Just let it be for now. Let him make the move. ;)
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I agree with this comment. Sex is fun, but having a meaningfull relationship because you love eachother is way more fun. Wow that was sensetive
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cheating
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Well, I don't know about the cheating. I've actually heard that someone who is cheating tries to have more sex with their significant other in order to assuage their feelings of guilt. I'm terrified that this will happen to me. Another question: Is it normal for a young guy to only be able to orgasm (have sex) once in a night? Because I sometimes want to do it more, but he usually can only do once.
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My partner is exactly the same and its so frustrating!
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U just have to have a break after cumming then u can go again I've went as much as 6 times in a night but I don't try to push the limit cause I was raw the next day :p but it was fun I also eat out a lot if permitted
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Ollieo
Suggest you talk to him straight up about your needs and what is going on with him.
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tes talk to him if he doesn't get it tell him that you want things to be how they were, a girl said that to me once and then i was back to her and me almost every night, in the end i loved it, but she moved to arizona, and me i'm in south fl
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Sounds like married life. Maybe he's polishing the bishop to much.
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Is he gay?
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Maybe hes afraid? Fridgid.
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technobanana
Try getting some proper hot lingrea like stockings, thong and corset or something like that and just walk into the room he is in a GET IT OFF :p !
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When I come home from work, my girl is sleeping on the couch in her robe. And then she wonders why I'm not turned on. I tell her, "honey, try wearing something sexy when I get home and you'll see a difference". Somehow to her this meand I'm shallow. She doesn't get it.
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see im the opposite, im kinda like your bf, i dont really like kissing, and i dont really want sex, but its not cuz im cheating, i just dont like the thought of swallowing someone elses spit, and when i have sex im set for like a good month i dont want it after that, and when i think of it im kinda repulsed by it.
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My husband has told me many times that his sex drive has always dropped dramatically once he was comfortable in a relationship. I guess I finally believe him. It doesn't help that he has only ever had like 3 orgasms. I always felt like the guy in our marriage when it came to sex drive. One thing I figure is that unless he can have it 'out-of-of-his-mind-freakiest-he's-ever-had-it' he doesn't care to make more than the simplest effort. This idea makes me very shy and only compounds the matter...sigh.
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i feel like my BF is starting to get like that, too.

anyway, it's always me that wants to have sex most of the time.. on the other hand, i'm not into casual sex. i can only do it when i'm in a relationship. so i don't get it.
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I personally think he may be cheating... because if he was all over you for the first few months of being in a relation ship with you... why has he suddenly stopped?
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hes probably cheating, try cheating yourself at least its exiting
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If i was that guy I would be ALL OVER YOU every night!!! XD
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lol that dude is gay just leave him ftw !
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caydenlover
Well tell him to get off of his ass and have sex with u
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As many of the responses have suggested, something is up with this. Both gals and guys have different reasons for not having sex, but with a young guy like this, I hate to be too suggestive, but he could be having an affair, might be struggling with his sexuality, or countless other things. You MUST discuss this w him. My guess is he will blow it off as no big deal. Everyhing is fine. You know better than anyone how to push his buttons, so do what it takes to get him to communicate with you. Best of luck
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lol the amount of desperate people claiming he's gay cause they cant get any is insane. talk to him about it and if you just want sex come over my house I'll give you what you're jonesing for
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Why the hell does every one say cheating that is not what it is i dont think sex is great but not all there is to a relationship
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im in a relationship 4 years so far, and interestingly enough I have the same problem! I think I have an idea whyy it happens. its psychological. when you do have sex is he more emotionally attached ? mine is. I think hes scared to love me too much and then lose me. im savvy with simple psychology principles and figured ut out. id bet u could find out a lot exploring ur relationship using psychology.
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maybe he's gay, and doesnty want to admit it, maybe he got tired of you, maybe he is cheating or likes someone else. or maybe hes those types that arent really interested in that and are more about "emotional", you should totally talk to him, i mean you've been togetehr for quite some time and for you to not have the trust to talk to him? come on.
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<a href="http://www.womansday.com/_mobile/sex-relationships/sex-tips/8-reasons-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-91131" rel="nofollow">http://www.womansday.com/_mobile/sex-relationsh...</a>


My wife is just like that now, but that is because she is bi-polar a d started taking medication which one of the side effects is low or no sexual drive. Which was the complete opposite of what she was when we first meet and moved in together, no lie we had some sort of sex at least 6 times a day 30 minutes here 45 minutes there for the first 9 months of our relationship. Then we slowed down to 5 times a week until she started her medication, now I'm lucky if I get it once a week, sometimes I get real lucky and have it 3 times in one day. I really wish we had it more often, good luck I know what it's like. I forgot to say I love sex and could do it as many times a day as I want, I'm always horny, even after I just had sex I could have more.
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I think hes cheating on you...:S nobody can refuse to sex so he might be gettin some behind your back watch out
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honestly.
that guys gay.
really gay.
how many times has he asked to take it up the pooper?
if the answer is more than one, he's most definitly gay
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ih8j0o
you're inmature.
Really inmature.
And a bit of retarded.
she's married to a man,that man is married to HER.
so how could you say that he's gay?
sick cunt.
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He turned gay.
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