Are You Normal?
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Not sure if he's cumming when we have sex?
Ok, so we've had sex several times and he *seems* to be coming sometimes (and I've definitely felt the pre-ejaculation present, if that factors in at all here). A couple of times I asked him afterward if he had come or not and he said "yes". For some reason, I didn't believe him. So I started checking the condoms in the garbage can later on and they always seem to be empty. I thought of the possibility that maybe they were upside down so all the action spilled out, but I didn't see any real evidence of that. Believe me, I would be happy to do whatever is necessary to make him a happy camper. But I really don't know him well enough to feel comfortable/appropriate to ask him about this personal issue. I've definitely given him some blowjobs which he seemed to enjoy, but then we've always finished with sex. Maybe he just seriously takes a super long time and we end up stopping before he's finished? I really don't know. So, my questions are these:
Do you think he's lying about coming, or is he maybe finishing but nothing comes out (is that even possible)?
Do you think maybe he just doesn't come and that's normal for some guys and he just doesn't want to talk about it?
If he's not coming because we're not doing the right kinds of activities to get him off, why wouldn't he tell me what he wants (or show me) so that we can both fully enjoy it when we have sex?
I'm trying not to take i personally, but...
Do you think he's lying about coming, or is he maybe finishing but nothing comes out (is that even possible)?
Do you think maybe he just doesn't come and that's normal for some guys and he just doesn't want to talk about it?
If he's not coming because we're not doing the right kinds of activities to get him off, why wouldn't he tell me what he wants (or show me) so that we can both fully enjoy it when we have sex?
I'm trying not to take i personally, but...
Do you think it's normal?
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I say just ask him, I am a guy, and it is a normal question to ask.
PS: Is better to talk about this things with a "few glasses of wine at night", not in the bedroom after sex, it kills the mood.
Its an ancient practice, and the reason for it is for enhancing orgasm, and being able to have more than one orgasm in a non-stop session.
Multiorgasms are not just for women, Im not saying Im an expert, but I have had 3 or 4 orgasms in a row, without going flacid.
If this is the case, it makes no sense hidding it, Im saying is just a possibility.
He might also have a guilt complex about coming or feel that he wouldn't be satisfying you if he came - if he seems like a very unselfish lover, then that's a possibility. You could get him over said guilt by encouraging him to think of sex as something that he's welcome to enjoy as much as you - maybe have a night that's 'all about him' as it were, to show him that you actually like pleasing him.
If you can feel the pre-ejaculation, then you certainly needn't worry about whether you're pleasing him, and there's no need to take it personally. It's much more likely to be psychological hang-ups or a preference for not coming. Whatever it is, I certainly advise talking about it with him - be very gentle and encourage him to be open with you. Good communication is the root of a good relationship.
Best of luck.
Metal Guy.