Are You Normal?
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Phantom dumper
I habitually fouled my neighbours driveway. There has been animosity between our family and the one next door virtually from the outset. The petty bickering continued to and fro for years.
As the middle child I took it upon myself to wreak some retribution on our neighbours and I chose sh*t as my weapon. About once a quarter I would sneak over the hedge separating the properties and take a dump in their driveway, under cover of darkness.
I was amazed at the size of the produce when it wasn't in it's usual porcelin surroundings. In the next day or so, the family would emerge from their house, wrinkle their noses and spy the big pile of sh*t. John (the man of the house) usually took it upon himself to cover it up, as you would a corpse, presumably to stop it scaring the children and ruining his wife's hairdo.
Me and dad thought it was absolutely hilarious and the topic was often mulled at family meal time conversations although I never let on that I was the culprit, despite some pointed accusations. In actual fact you guys are the first people I have ever told, a good 15 years on from the original deed (I did it for about a year).
Well, at least I didn't go round and pop a cap in his ass like you crazy yanks, we are much more civilised in the UK.
As the middle child I took it upon myself to wreak some retribution on our neighbours and I chose sh*t as my weapon. About once a quarter I would sneak over the hedge separating the properties and take a dump in their driveway, under cover of darkness.
I was amazed at the size of the produce when it wasn't in it's usual porcelin surroundings. In the next day or so, the family would emerge from their house, wrinkle their noses and spy the big pile of sh*t. John (the man of the house) usually took it upon himself to cover it up, as you would a corpse, presumably to stop it scaring the children and ruining his wife's hairdo.
Me and dad thought it was absolutely hilarious and the topic was often mulled at family meal time conversations although I never let on that I was the culprit, despite some pointed accusations. In actual fact you guys are the first people I have ever told, a good 15 years on from the original deed (I did it for about a year).
Well, at least I didn't go round and pop a cap in his ass like you crazy yanks, we are much more civilised in the UK.
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A buddy of mine did that at a rival fraternity house at school. There was one problem though...not everyone was asleep in the house. A few people witnessed the act going on and chased him off their porch with his pants around his ankles...
I've never told anyone about that either.
this is the best story ever!
I just laughed for a minute here, man! lmao
congratz for the great time, keep up the good work! lol xD
Congradulations, you are the laughing stock of the internet. Not in a bad way of course, we are laughing with you :)
Next time aim for a grassy area, that way a large burrowing animal might have a better chance at stealth ninja-ing its way up your ass. After the initial shock wears off you could clench your asscheeks long enough to keep it lodged in there while you hobble back home, take photographic evidence, and tell us all about it so that we can laugh at you again, you f**kwit. :D
awwwww, sir, I'm a bit offended =) Funny story
Thanks for the laugh though :D