Iin to feel so much hate towards someone. and think that they are a complete ingrade idiot,with no responsabilities, selfish, and completely brushes of there own problems like they are a piece of rubbish and goes on with life not realizing that running away from all this is actually making it worse, and i cant say a dam thing to them about it in fear of getting hurt?

She is quite obviously abusive, not just to you but to the child. Neglect IS abuse. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I would do. I would report her behavior to Child, Youth and Family Services for starters. She is setting the child up to repeat her behavior when he grows up. The cycle will repeat itself. She is damaging him absolutely. There is no guarantee that they will do anything but they do have to investigate and you can ask that it be done anonymously. It may take repeated reportings before anything gets done.
But, other than that I would take yourself to a psychologist because that person can help you understand what type of mental illness she is struggling with. I would go first by yourself without telling her because she may try to abuse you if she knows. A psychologist can find out more details and help you decide a plan of action.
It may be that you have to leave this situation and abandon this relationship for your own sake. Be very concerned about your own mental health. Abusers have a way of sucking you in so that sooner or later you can't think clearly anymore and you literally stop realizing that you are being abused. Basically you stop remembering the difference between abnormal and normal behavior.
Also, I would suggest you ask the psychologist for the name of a good child psychologist. You may be able to help this small and vulnerable life. You can try to advocate for him the best you can, but in the end there may be nothing you can do for either of them.
I hope that is some help. Don't knuckle under to her tyranny.