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Saying you can come if you want to lunch.
Am I being too sensitive when a couple of friends are going out to eat and say "you can come if you want". I take that as they really don't want me to join them.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (13)
buriedalive (16071)
It depends, sometimes it's an invitation and sometimes it's just thrown in for politeness. The only way you could really tell is by monitoring their body language/ tone of voice when they say it, as these tend to be the best indicators of someones true intentions. Maybe go to lunch with them someday, and if they make you feel welcome you'll know it's ok. And if not, you'll know to make new friends.
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violent10dency (10988)
I guess it all really does depend on body language and tone of voice but yea that would kind of piss me off too. They should just say "would you like to come to lunch with us?" I would find new friends who actually enjoy your company.
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BUA420 (19140)
i totaly get you it makes me feel unwanted or left ou or like they feel bad so there just inviting you not to be mean..gosh i hate that lol
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rooster8 (20180)
Depends on the tone of their voice
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lillady123 (17630)
yer find better friends.
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snufflebunny (21325)
Maybe they just dont know if you want to come or not so they are not presuring you.
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princesst76 (21942)
yeah, or maybe they do, they just don't show it that much. If you want to go, go.
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babyyboyy (23417)
yeah i know how you feel its the come IF YOU WANT it sometimes makes you feel there just saying it,but i only feel like it sometimes.
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Ollieo (19003)
You say they are friends. So yes they are inviting you. Could be they read your doubt as not wanting their company. Stop over-thinking it. Go.
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lk4me (25298)
"if you want" could actually mean "if you must". are they asking you knowing you'll say no or are they asking knowing there's a good possibility you'll take them up on the offer?
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Powerfrog (18386)
The only real response you can give is "You're paying!"
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russellnb (23816)
Point out their insensitivity. If they are friends they will appreciate knowing how you feel.
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rainbowsparkles (28028)
It kinda says that they don't see you as being that close to the group or you would've been included in the original plans. Plus throwing in the "if you want..." A good friend that really wanted you to come would try to convince you or beg you. Unless you are super cool or super good looking than they could be intimidated and feel inferior and not think you'd waste your time with them so they want to be casual about it
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