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Secretly make out with best friend
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Hey,
My best friend and I are secretly in love. Don't get me wrong, when I say that, I honestly mean it. We have been friends for just over 6 years now and we have never fought or felt anything negative against one another ever. We know each other's souls inside and out, and we have an extremely open and trusting relationship. We miss each other as soon as we're apart, instantly after leaving eachother, and we see each other almost every day. About a year ago, we started to declare our love for each other, saying "I love you" with full meaning and depth every night after talking online or on the phone. We are both female, and straight. We love each other as people, not in a sexual "girlfriend" manner, but still our love is strong and relevant. About a month ago, we were lying down cuddling as we always do for comfort, and we just started making out. We both wanted it, and it was loving and amazing. Since then, we are both happy to carry on this way, we have always spent ALOT of time together as it is, but now its more physical. My question is, is this normal? We are not going out, or "girlfriends" or bi or lesbian. We are just best friends who express our love in a very physical manner, and we are both happy with this. Although we don't want people to know, as nobody would understand it, and just assume we were gay, when this is not the case. So the actual kissing is a secret to others. Is this normal?? Thanks.
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Comments (50)
iDove
Omg. Like, I feel that way about my Bff but she doesn't know about it. :-( I want to tell her but I don't want our friendship to end if she doesn't feel the same way. You two are lucky
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@: iDove
I know exactly how you feel my best friend and I have the same issue except she doesn't even know it!
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If two guys did this would it be the same? Like, really. I'm a female, so don't get me wrong, but when people say it's okay for women to do something, but if two men did it they're 'gay' makes me a bit upset. I don't know. I think it's completely plausible to have what you have with your friend and remain 'straight' by social standards. But I also think that doing what you're doing means there is physical attraction there, which also means you're not 100%% straight.

Kinsey Scale, my friends. There are actually very, very few true straight people out there. More people lay in the 'bisexual' area with a high preference for one sex over the other.

Truth, personally, I think you're bi with a heavy attraction for males over females. But eh, you do know yourself better than anyone else. What do you think about it?
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Well said, ttainted - I agree completely.
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Ollieo
Its OK to be lesbian.
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@: Ollieo
You don't have to be labled as a lesbian, just because you have curiosity, or high emotions for one person of the same sex. She states that they are both straight.
Like I said, I had the same experience when I was younger, and I am a straight woman who has now been a serious relationship for over 4 years.
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Ollieo
Oh come on now, lets not get too cute about this label stuff ... you know ... walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...

I get that homophobic fear distorts people's acceptance of who they are and what they are doing - so if you love and have sex as lesbians would - but want to call yourself straight - then fine.

But I repeat: Its OK to be lesbian.
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heck, do whatever cums naturally - - you only live once :-)
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im a girl, i fell in love with my best friend when i was 14 , we were in love, a couple of years later we kissed, it even got more physical... youre not straight, you love her cause she undertand you and youre also attracted to her, which is great but i mean if youre not dating, if youre not a couple, if after caring about her so much and expressing it in a physical way she get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend or whatever, would you feel betrayed? cheated on?
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Well, I wouldn't feel cheated on or anything, as we are not "going out", it has gotten more physical, but we still just acknowledge we are friends. If she got a boyfriend, I know we would stay very very close, and I would be happy to see her with someone, even though it would be weird I guess.
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You might feel happy for her but you never know how you will completely feel until she gets one(a boyfriend). In my opinion , that you are attracted to her physically and want to show her how much you love her. Maybe your not a couple right now , but would it really bother you if u were ? I just think you are more than friends since your attracted to her physically.
There is nothing wrong in being together with her if she makes you happy :)
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This is exactly how my best friend and I used to feel for each other, even though we never did anything sexual, there was a lot of sexual tension and I truly cared for her. People called us lesbians all the time lol. It all ended when she got knocked up by some douche bag, moved four states away, and now we hardly ever talk to each other. I hope that at least your friendship stays strong and doesn't end up like our relationship did.
Good luck(:
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omg! my best friend got knocked up too... do you still talk to her tho? its just sad when youre so close to one person and then you grow apart... and never get that back
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It's so weird huh?! Well, we still have like spontaneous conversations every few months but it's not the same at all, I've seen her once since then, but she was very busy with her little baby. I'm sorry about your situation )= life is a piece of shit sometimes
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_friendship

Normal. It's just become abnormal because of the popularity of Freud's theories of sexual attraction; any genuine relationship, platonic or romantic or sexual, is a beautiful thing, and it's too bad that society encourages people to be cynical or hateful of each other (especially women).

It would probably be best to keep things a secret. Many people would be unable to understand.
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Well said
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In 2007, my best friend and I started to read stories on Quizilla. Then we made our own and eventually started acting it out in person. Then we decided that we role-played too much, but it was like we were so used to it. We're so close, we talk on the phone every day as long as we can. We hang out every day and the second we leave we feel so sad. People think that we are too close, our families even label us as lesbians. We live in a small town where everybody knows each other, so we quarantine ourselves in a secluded part of her hallway so we can kiss, hug, talk, we have even given each other hickies. There's no sexual attraction at all, we just do it for fun and because we love each other so much. Often times, we feel like there is nobody else out there that has the same relationship that we do. It shocks me that there are people out there that have a similar relationship to us. So yes, it's definitely normal.
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okay, so this is totally how i felt about my best best best friend.
we made out about 4 times.

a week after the 4th time she stopped talking to me completely and we got in a huge fight about something else. she hasnt talked to me in 8 months and tells everyone i am gay and i am a lesbian.

i think making out with a friend is normal.
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Ohh my gosh! I totally understand! I have a best friend too! we've been best friends for 4 years now and we always mess around! We're both 18 and we both have boyfriends, we make out, finger each other and all other types of stuff too, but yes we love to cuddle and we do say I love you, we mean it. We're not lesbian we don't not have feelings for each other.. just as best friends, but it's fun! Like, we're completely comfortable with each other so.. it's just fun when we mess around! It's normal! you are not lesbian!
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Girl you are not alone. Me and my bestfriend is
going threw the same stuff right now! We started spending
too much time together.. Then we started playing gay..
We were horny for each other and always needed to be around
its definitly a secret tho.and now we are so in love and i cant get
over her.. Sometimes i wish it never happened but i love pleasing
her..haha
but to me your not a lesbian
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Face it. You are lesbian. There is nothing wrong with that. You just wanted us to justify it. Not happening lol.
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I'd say it is very normal. Actually when I was younger my best friend and I were the same way. Women are very caring, nurturing beings. So with your love for each other being so strong, and all the time spent together, it tends to lead to trying to pysically love, and care one anothers needs/wants.

I suppose I could be wrong, but even if I am, at least you now know you're not alone?
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this is why girls are so great, nouts complicated
id be happy to be bi
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I use to be like that with my best friend. We knew each other since the third grade. We kinda fell apart now but i can honestly say i have never loved anyone more then i did her.
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I can definately relate to you. My best friend and I became very close very quickly. We talked on the phone everyday for hours and spent any moment together that we could. Physically, we started with cuddling and stuff, but one day we just started kissing. At first we both agreed that that was weird and we couldn't do those kinds of things because we know we're both straight, but after that day, we just couldn't help ourselves. Now, she's off at college (I'm still a senior in high school) and she broke things off with me, which I always knew would have to happen eventually, but it's left me pretty broken. For the most part, I can deal with us solely being friends, but sometimes it's really hard and I have these overwhelming feelings for her again. It's really nice to know that somebody out there knows what I'm going through because it is something hard and strange to go through. But I'm right there in your boat.
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Maybe you're a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation). Some people experiment in their teenage years and turn out the complete opposite of what they were in high school.
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We have both graduated already..
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corrina
My friend does that with one of her best friends and she's not gay although there's reasons for me to believe otherwise but she told me they would lay n bed and it be really cold and start makin out after cuddling but she stays at my house all the time n were not like that so I guess people are like that and they r both females too
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Wow I'm so amazed at how many people are responding to this, its good many people can relate and that we're not the only two who feel like this. Thanks everyone for the thoughts!
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My friend and i were labeld lesbien
But we knew eachother since we were 2. There was a special connection becuz of that ya no? I mean i never made out with her but when i went on trips or vise versa we'd give eachother a kiss on the cheek. Haha our families thought we were nuts! Don't worry about it sweety, ur normal.
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bugm3not
I love my best friend, shes the only person i ever think about during the day other then my baby brother( what shes doing at the moment, how her days going)- and thats saying alot cuz im antisocial and out of touch with anyones feelings. I wouldnt make out with my best friend(because I'd feel like i was taking advantage of her because shes straight and im bisexual) but I love her from head to toe :).
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appearantly she's your best friend but you love her in more than a freind way but in an unsexual way yet you make out and do physical things... Perhaps you are confused. But love isnt something you can just say off like its nothing but friendship. You obviously both love eachother if you made out and cuddle. In love gender does not matter. Its your choice wheather you wanna tell people but dont deny it, you'll just be more confused.
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Ok so I no exactly where yr coming from me and my bestfriend are 100% straitght but we have done stuff like that I mean the first time we started making out we both stopped eachother and said I'm totally staright and nothings gonna change that. Were both straight it's just it kinda a bonding thing I gess I mean it brings us closer together.
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If you plan to date a male someday, i would stop. if i were him i wouldn't like it, and the longer it went on, most likely the harder it would be to stop it.
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that turned me on.
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dtf
It seems to me that there is is a double standard for what what is gay for males and females wtf
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It's not normal, but who cares? I'm in the same situation. Kiss on!
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Im attracted to my best friend and i think she might be to me too but im not sure. How do i ask her? Ive thought about doing things w her
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you both get tipsy and you jokingly kiss her face then quickly kiss her lips and her face again. trust me.
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DameInDistress
Either you're a bi-sexual in the closet, or you've become so close to each other that it's considered acceptable. All I gotta say is, if both of you are consenting adults, go for it! =)

N. x
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Hi, Im in a similar situation like yourself. I have a boyfriend who I adore but I also have my best friend (a female) with whom I occasionally participate in homosexual activity. Well its been a long time since your post. i would like to know how are things going? For example, do you and your friend still maintain a friendship. Have a boyfriend? What do you recommend? And overall has this been a positive experience? etc.
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This makes me feel weird.
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i dont know if it is normal but it sounds fucking sexy lol lesbians
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i think that's normal. my closest friend and i make out, it started when we were drunk and now we just make out and we enjoy it but it doesn't affect our friendship. we're both gay but don't think of each other like that at all
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Wait can I join??
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Speaking as a guy, I've seen girls who like to make out w girls. While ago i had a gf who slept with another girl sometimes. We never ALL slept toggether but I HOPED......

And my gf called this other person "her friend"
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You need to look up the word lesbian.

You are a lesbian.
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It's not normal but I can relate one hundred percent. I'm in live with my best friend as well and were both figuring that out too.
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If u have had sex u r screwed up and I will never shake your Hand!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mmmmmm lesbians :P
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