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Sex with a vacuum cleaner
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Hey everyone, is it true that sticking your c0ck in a vacuum cleaner gives the same sensation as a girl giving you a blowjob? I am really tempted to do it, but I dont wanna injure myself. (BTW I'm only 14 so I've never had sex yet - I'm just experimenting). Should I do it or shouldnt I?
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Comments (16)
Don't do it, it will feel NOTHING like the real thing, and is very dangerous.
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Some vacuums have spinning motors near the holes, so may may end up having to clean up the blood and pick up the extra pieces of your now shorter dick.
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Use a Dyson it may suck your dick and what little brains you have
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It might suck all of you in a vacuum try explaining that to the people in the ER when your stuck.
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Don't do it you could damage your dick forever. Get a penis pump it's far safer and you can control it. For gods sale don't try it with a Dyson
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All I can say is SHOP VAC you know with the big hose. The small hose of a regular vac is too small for my member. IT feels great, Best thing ever for self sex. Not like the real thing( I've had some REALLY good blow jobs!) but it may be even better. Be careful not to get your balls sucked in if your kinda small, unless thats your thing and keep the switch nearby incase you find it to be too powerfull.The bigger hose of the big vac will keep you from being sucked all the way in tight. The air passing your member and the vibrations that are created will feel great.
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I agree totally with this post. Yeah, it's not the same as a real blow job, but you can't beat the result short of actually fucking someone! A shop vac is perfect--nice, strong suction, a wide hose for good vibration. It can also feel great putting your dick directly into the canister. In either case, keep the power switch within easy reach in case you find you aren't enjoying it.

As for cleanliness and germ control: I bought my shop vac exclusively for sexual pleasure. That way, there's nothing going into the vacuum that didn't come out of my dick. It's easy enough to wipe out the inside of the hose if need be.

Personally, I like to wear all my black leather motorcycle gear--jacket, gloves, and boots--during all sexual activity, alone or with a woman. It adds another level of fetishistic pleasure. Combine this with the vacuum hose and I'm great till the next woman comes along.
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no it wont feel the same and you might hurt your weiner.Nothing will feel as good as a mouth on your weiner so wait until the real thing happens for you-no dangerous experiments!
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go for it sound like it could be fun!
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dont even think about it with plastics forget it. Are u an idiot U might end up with no cock.
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@: vicky
did you watch scary movie 1 or something? btw that guy (ummm whats his name- Dopie? o whatever) was freakin hot!!!
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I have a better idea for the poster of this question, it will be a lot better than using simply a vacuum cleaner.

Get the electrical cord, cut it near the vacuum cleaner, expose the three wires, coil the earth wire so it is no longer exposed, then get the two remaining wires, tie them to your testicles and then plug in to the socket.

I guarantee you the sensation will be electric.
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idk should i try it
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Not sure how old the thread is but ill Contribute for fun. :)
I can honestly say I don't remember much from being 14 other than being horny all the damn time. Geez now that I think back at how horny I was at that age your hormones just go absolutely nuts!
We lived way in the back of a rural area and they had hundreds of acres of Barbwire fenced off pasture. It had lots of horses and cows and it behind our place, And I can assure you if I could gotten a mare or milk cow to stand still long enough for me to get up a milk crate to stand on i'd have been doing some nasty wrong immoral unethical things to some farm animals! Looking back I shudder at how's ex craZed I was! My mom divorced my dad and remarried several times and I'm still pissed off that I didn't get any cute step-sisters out of the deal!,;)

Anyway. Vacuum. You have to be careful with that crap. Biggest issue (besides the off switch!!!) is making DAMNED sure that when your penis is as hard as it can possibly get you STILL have Plenty of space between your penis and the vacuum hose. You do not want to get stuck inside that damn thing! I have a couple of nurse friends that work in the emergency room's in a couple of different hospitals and the horror stories of stuff that people do coming in relating to sexual satisfaction are rather scary!!!

Next is Making sure that you remove the part that you're going to use and making sure it is cleaned with soap inside and out so that you are disease free.

Different vacuum cleaners have different size motors so that means they have different rates of suction some might be okay and others could damage you so you have to be very careful.

Now all this might sound like I've had a lot of vacuum cleaner experience, but that is not the case :-). However I have been experimenting with my vacuum cleaner in relation to trying to make my own home penis pump. I have a couple of clear plastic water bottles that were made for traveling, You know the hard plastic ones that don't bend or collapse. On one of them I had drilled out the bottom to almost the diameter of the vacuum hose and on the side of it I have drilled a hole just large enough that my phone can cover it as a pressure release valve.

My hopes were that I could use this as a basically free version of a home penis pump to increase the size of my penis and help out with some medical related issues that I'm having.

The plastic bottle is clear so you can very clearly see what is going on with your penis and for the relief valve it's really easy to release the pressure as well as being close to the off switch.

Unfortunately here I can't get a very good seal off against my body or the hose onto the bottle, or the vacuum motor is just not strong enough to do the job. Oh well, I'll experiment with a few more options doing the same thing and probably give up and buy an actual penis pump to do the job as they are fairly cheap.

And much easier suggestion that I would offer you which also is easier to use it home and be quiet would be this;

Either going to your kitchen counter or just go to the dollar store while you're out running around in a buy a pair of these heavy thick kitchen dishwashing gloves, you know the ones I'm talking about, the green ones or the yellow ones whatever's fine the ones with the longer sleeves on is the best.
You take one of these and then go to your sock drawer and get 3 to 6 Socks, you will just have to experiment with a number of them and then kind of rolled the socks in half so that the elastic part is rolled over on top of the normal sock part. Stuff the rubber glove in the socks leaving just enough out of the socks To fold it back over the socks about 2 inches or three and then secure that with rubber bands.

At this point you can lubricate yourself and the inside of rubber glove and do what comes natural also if just squeezing outside of the socks isn't enough, sometimes you can add a lot of rubber bands or some other method of constricting the socks that makes it feel better.

All in all this is safe easy to clean easy to put together easy to disassemble and easy to hide from your wife girlfriend or mother Ha ha ha. Believe it or not you can look this up on YouTube has people have actually showed how to assemble these :-)
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You do have hands.... right?

Use those
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BAD IDEA... there are lots of diseases and germs on a vaccume.. so unless you disinfect it, its a bad idea... when I did this a few years ago I got ring worm.. its wasnt pleasant...
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