Why it has not occurred to you to simply stick an ice pick in your plastic fantastic lover is completely beyond me. Perhaps your wife as well. And then get your brain recalibrated for being in this completely absurd situation. Or were you going to get inspiration to write a song about it?
i have never suggested such before but i think you need to cheat on her if she never lets you have sex with her. i mean she obviously dosent want to have sex with you so why would she even mind.
Maybe your wife records you doing this without your knowledge and shows it to everybody she can to get a jolly ol' laugh out of it while she's out having sex with OTHER men. And by the time you figure it out the entire town and half the world will have seen videos of you humping a blow-up doll and you'll never get sex from a normal girl again???
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