I'm a 40 year old stepfather with a 16 year old stepdaughter. I'm finding, lateley, that I am getting attracted to her and having what I think are inappropriate (and illegal) thoughts about her.
I don't want to hurt her in any way, but I'm in need of her presence and strongly desire her attention. She's a very happy, content and well adjusted teen who seems to be pretty normal in most every way. She seems to not have any boys willing to step up to the plate and ask her out. I think she intimidates them with her strong personality. She's still a virgin to the best of my knowledge and there's the problem.
I can't stop thinking that if she's still a virgin when she turns 18, I'd like to be there for her. She'd likely never even remotely consider it and I don't like the incest idea, but she's beautiful, attractive and a great person, so what do I do?
I don't want to hurt her in any way, but I'm in need of her presence and strongly desire her attention. She's a very happy, content and well adjusted teen who seems to be pretty normal in most every way. She seems to not have any boys willing to step up to the plate and ask her out. I think she intimidates them with her strong personality. She's still a virgin to the best of my knowledge and there's the problem.
I can't stop thinking that if she's still a virgin when she turns 18, I'd like to be there for her. She'd likely never even remotely consider it and I don't like the incest idea, but she's beautiful, attractive and a great person, so what do I do?
Your fantasies are okay, but best to leave them that way.
There is nothing wrong with her being an 18 year old virgin, and it is not your "duty" to "help" her out with it either.
She needs to date boys her age, who are not married to her relatives, or married at all.
Please understand I'm not judging you or trying to make you feel guilty, but pursuing her would be detrimental to everyone involved.
A little thought experiment: Take an average man, put a young woman into his house, let her be close to him, play with him, use his shower, put her underwear in his laundry, smile and laugh, hug and kiss him on his cheek, sit on him with her lovely breasts up under his nose and her ass rubbing his *** -day after day, and for weeks, months and years. What is the most likely result? Of course he wants to rip off her clothes and do what he has fantasied about doing with women since his first orgasm. Because he is normal.
I have it exactly that way. But I don't really want to follow my normal desires. Because I am normal. I don't want to screw up the life of the people I love - including my wife, her daughter and myself. If my stepdaughter one day comes to me and invites me to sex - which I find extremely unlikely because she is normal - I hope I have strength to say no. Otherwise I cannot concider myself as normal any more.
Sexually maturing or not, no teen girl WANTS your attention, and if she is playing up - she's a teenage girl and NOT mature. Stop lying to yourselves. I'm disgusted that you seriously think this shit is ok.
Sexual attraction is natural, but familial boundaries are there for a fucking reason.
I have to honestly say that you cannot understand a situation once you are in it. Sometimes the things are taboo are the best things. At one point, sodomy was frowned upon but now it's not. I think people should be free to do what they want with each other as long as both parties consent.
My mom and step dad have been married for 5 years, and I can't tell you how wonderful he is to me. Although to some of you it may seem sick, my mother is okay with sharing me with my step father because she would rather know i am only with him than running around whoring it up.
I love making love to my step father, it's a feeling I can't even put into words. I hope I find a man as good as him to marry one day.
I am sorry if I wasn't helpful.
Since i travel for business all the time I'am only home on weekends and her Mother is usually studying and falls asleep in another room is it that she is just trying to spend time with me as her Father? Sometimes i feel like i need to LAY DOWN THE LAW and tell her to sleep in her room and not mine! but, i truly enjoy our conversations and time together.
I'am with you confussed Dad....Just really confussed.
there is often conflict between step daughter and stepfather because of the sexual tension in the situation. the daughter is being dominated over by a male who is genetically unrelated, seemingly taking the position of a husband or boyfriend in the sub active mind.
im not just talking out of my ass here. i just broke up with a girlfriend who had a stepfather. their situation was conflicting, they seemed to hate one another or at least argue alot. my girlfriend was 17 and very attractive, and the only step child of the father in the household. when she mentioned to me she enjoyed role playeing and being the innocent victim being takin advantage of, i got worried. then when she briefly mentioned the possiblity of a daddy/ daughter situation in roleplaying...i almost vomited.i dont believe anything has happened in the situation, but just that she though of that means it has crossed her mind before.
our immorality in this country has reached an all time low if situations like these are so common in any way. the family structure is the most important part in cultureal and behavioral learning, to infringe upon the psycology of a persons behavior is to disturb their very essence.
step fathers- it is important from a young age and time period that you establish yourself as a father just the same as if she were your blood child. think of it this way, in ancient times no one actualy knew who the real father of their children were, but still the family structure was oas only rarley broken if at all. a child is a child, a daughter is a daughter, and a father a father
I can't believe I came across this.
My stepdaughter has turned 18. She has been my step for 10 years. The last 3 years our relationship has been really strained untill 6 months ago when I realized what was wrong. I was in love with her. Sexually attracted, totally want to be with her, when I wake up in the morning she is the first thing I think of....When we are in the same room I cannot take my eyes off her. My heart aches. I am depressed, afraid, embarresed, and totally cannot talk to anyone about this. I did come across a book "The Measure of a Man" by Shapiro. There is only one page but the auther mentions that it is not uncommon for dads to find their stepdaughters more atractive than the mother. But it does not elaberate.
I fantacize about her. I do not want to have a 'relation with her' I just fantacize about holding her and caressing her. I do fantacize about her body. Yes I have picked throught her bedroom door and saw her naked. My heart was beating so hard I thought I was going to pass out. I have never felt about a woman what I am feeling with her. Not even when I was 18 and had hot 18 year old girls.
Thanks for listening and let me say this to someone. Some comments above where very helpful. The vulager comments from people about how sick we are, are not helpful.
I hope more people comment. I will come back. very nerous about posting this.
I say, go for it. I think both of you will love it. I did and he also enjoys it.
My advise to all you fathers with a hard on, please try to think of her as your own, try to use the feelings for her to your wife, help yourself, do the things you can do and do not the illegal stuff, because little girls won't tell now, but eventually they will tell...
Keep in mind that helping yourself with her in mind is absolutely no crime, and there is simply nothing wrong with you.
Don't think that someday she will turn to you, it only devistates your lives i think. To all the girls that have a crush on their stepdads.... i would say, help yourself with everything you have without using his dick, watch and/or masturbate when he's showering or dressing, try not to confront him with your feelings, it might go wrong, or if you do tell him how you feel about him, and you end up with his dick in you, try to keep it secret and safe, you both made a bad move and should take responsibility by keeping it secret, it's the elder who's taking the blame. If you can avoid it, try that, it's better for him and you in the long run. Now i only try to look, think and act at my stepdaughter without feelings, but everytime i see, hear or feel her, my heart wants her so bad. I can't go there where my dick wants to go, so every possibility i can get to be with her alone, i try desperate to avoid. It still worked so far.
Ps. i really love her with all my heart and would not want to harm her... maybe i was helpfull, maybe not, i can handle my deepest feelings i ever had, but my job and life is now a bit more stable, and that helped too.
Good luck to everything.
I am completely terrified of losing my wife,whom I love beyond my ability to express in words. I know that my marriage would be over if my wife found out how I feel. But, that doesnt change my feelings for her daughter. I catch myself watching her eat,sleep,listening to music even watching T.V.
Its good to know Im not alone out here.
I love her as my daughter but want her so bad.
i am sorry for ranting but i just found this sight and need to this off my chest .
whats so funny is five years ago she was just another kid for me to joke and make laugh i taught her to drive . but i realy think ihate her more than anything else in the world if any one can help me please do.
ps all you smart asses that are going to offer to take her off my hands leave a phone number i might consider it
even in an openly sexual family, this is important to remeber. you dont want daughters or sons who grow older and have sexual complications because they need mommy or daddy to get off.
a persons sexuality is effeected by their experiances as they grow, especialy their first.
extranormal curcumstances can cause sexual deviance
a comparable example is that when women are raped, sometimes during the process they get through the trauma by letting themselves "get off" to the situation. this can have deeply impacting traumatic implications for the rest of their lives, because for a long time they may not be able to have sex or even think sexualy without going back to the traumatic arousal.
that is a radical example, but it serves the purpose of explaining how incredibly impacting sexual learning and experiance can negativly effect a person's life, sometimes for their entire lives.
i know that the whole idea sounds hot, but you gotta understnand that sexuality is a part of humanity that humans have to learn to control. not just because of these social issues but because of controversial issues like STDs, wich exemplify why human sexuality is ment to test humans ability to control themselves.
I married my wife when I was 25 and she was 32 then...she's single mom to a 4-yr old girl. I was there when my stepdaughter grew up and now she's in her 20's. Yes, I started fantasizing her when she was 14. I knew that was wrong so I corrected my thoughts and focused on supporting her and her mom. I was able to give my wife any baby and my attention was focused on her daughter which I considered as my own. My daughter and I has this love-hate relationship because she's more at home with her mom. My wife died just last year and I took her to a dorm to continue her studies. Lately, I finds myself attracted to her and wanting to be with her always. I fell bad everytime we had an argument and wanting to leave her but I can't do it. I hate myself as well.
I let her ride with me on a motorbike and it really feels good when she holds me. I don't want to end every moment when I am with her. She sometimes go to my room to do her school research and I always take my camera phone and capture her on film. Lately, she's disgusted of me taking her pictures and videos and I am upset. I let her know that sometimes I feel upset when she doesn't weant to inform me her whereabouts.
She's a very sophisticated young woman, no interests in boys as of this moment and wanting to finish her studies. I want to be with her always... I want to give her everything she wants... I decided that she doesn't stay with me in one house because I don't know what will I do if we're staying in the same house. I tried to avoid thoughts of doing it with her but I am just a weak person.
Sometimes, I find myself fantasizing her in my bed... I saw her naked one time when I walked into our room and she's in front of the dresser all naked. She was shocked and hid herself with a blanket and I went out of the room feeling bad. I peeked on her before but felt bad again afterwards. I am with you, confuseddad... I just don't know what to do. Now, we're planning to move together someplace near her school because the company where she works part-time closed and she doesn't have any resources on her own. I am planning to get her live with me in the same house. I feel excited about it but the other half of me is scared. My question is "Is it okay to fall in love with her? and if it's okay, will she actually love me back with the same love I have for her?
Confuseddad, we're in the same boat...by the way, I am located here in the Philippines. Hope you can cope up with what ever struggles you're in right now. I am trying to with mine. More power to you!
What makes this worse is my wife constantly remarking how big my step daughters tits are ( 36-D). I really want to see them.
I keep fantasizing she will come to visit next fall and that the two of us are alone in the house. She then goes to take a shower, and I go in on the premise that I have to go pee.
I then mention how her mom keeps saying how big her tits are, and could I see them to verify. Well she agrees and then one thing leads to another and before I know it we are having sex.
Maybe if she visits sooner, I can "steal " one of her bras, and a pair of her panties and masterbate with them since I know having sex with her is morally wrong. However, if she is 18 and is consenting I don't see a problem with it.
What should I do about these feelings?
I am in a similar situation only, I'm at the opposite end. My partner is sexually attracted to his ex-wife's daughter and he has openly admitted to me that he fantasises about her.
I don't judge him for having fantasies however, because he would actually love to "do" who he considers his daughter, it's hard for me to come to terms with.
As far as I know, he's never had sex with her however, there's times when my instincts beg to differ.
Alot of pain will be caused if you ever share this secret of yours with anyone. Best to keep it a fantasy and to keep it to yourself.
Another thing, do you really think your step-daughter would ask you to take her virginity, or it that wishful thinking on your part?
Without wishing to bring down the wrath of all the perverts out there, has anyone ever successfully dealt with this problem? I'm asking this question seriously. Please respond seriously. BTW, where in the world are all of you? USA? UK? Other?
but you can still become devoted fuck buddies without condoms yeeey
All fantasies are normal and good. Take it easy,Iike a play. And keep SECRET. for all people you care about, including yourself.
My stepdaughter keeps sexying me sinse her 9. She is smart, shy, and good. But very curious, adores boys alot. Not vulgar, but very clever pushing.
Once I mentionned to her that she "forgot" to wear panties under her school skirt. No problem, and no reason to scare her mom.
Your wife (who it sounds like you don't think much about) will take her away from you and your daughter (which is what you ought to be calling her) will fully understand and WANT to get away from you. Snap out of it. See a counselor. This is one of those things you don't let out until after your stroke/head injury.
Fortunately for me she rarely falls asleep in my bed any more, and when she does she awakes to me whispering (not touching!) and goes to her room right away.
I stare at her sweet little figure and fantasize about her all the time. For several years my wife has been unable to participate in a real sex life due to chronic illness--last year we had sex 4 times--but I still find her extremely attractive. The problem is, I find my stepdaughter even more attractive. All I can do about any of it, is hide my feelings to them and masturbate a lot.
I hope the OP and everyone else finds a resolution to this issue; I hope I do, too.
After reading your post I am left crying. I have two little children and you have no idea how devastated I would be if a monster like you ever came into our lives. She was 12 when you started this. I can't believe that the people who have been commenting have been saying this is "normal" and "okay" behavior.
These people trust you and you are ruining their lives. You need help. You should do what is best for everyone in your family and just walk away before you hurt them in a way that they could never recover from.
she alway wears sexy thongs and tight night clothes and no bra.thing is i would love to fuck her shes seen me wank a few times and i've seen her look through the crack in my bedroom door as i've grooned and said what i want to do with her.i've tuoched her when shes slept and wanked on her letting my cum dribble in her mouth but i have n't dare do any thing else as i don't know if she would want to.what do reckon should i try something else?
we r still friends on FB n now he has a new gf who dont like him to talk to me. I wanna see him esp now since im more grown up. even just a hug. Somtimes we chat late n i can tell if hes been drinkin.
i dunno wat to do. he says he will meet me to talk but alwayz chickenz out
Unless she makes the first move dont (trust me i threw out signs) and dont you ever tell anyone. you tell her mom its not just you she'll hate. because she could have prevented he feelings etc.
good luck...
Now I need YOUR advice!! Out of all these responses yours sounds the best and the most relevant to me. I%%u2019m in a dilemma and wanted to ask you what exactly you did to get your step dads attention?
It would help me because, although, I don%%u2019t have a step daughter, I am close friends with a neighbor who is a single mom and has a 14 year old daughter. I%%u2019ve known them for a few years, and have developed a crush on her daughter. I%%u2019m pretty certain that she does NOT look at me romantically because she%%u2019s into her own friends, and especially boys. I do know, though, that she hangs out with older boys who are a bad influence on her and I think she may have dated a guy who is 23 and developed a crush on a different guy who is 23. So, if you tried to get your step dads attention romantically, what are some of the things that you did, or what are some of the signs that I should be looking for with her? Also, what are some of the things I could be doing, and signs that I could give her that I like her without being too obvious?
I doubt that she has any feelings for me at all because she%%u2019s mostly not responsive to me, but I%%u2019m still just curious for information. Thanks for any advice or feedback that you could give me. If you%%u2019re comfortable, please email me back at sentosa_tiger@yahoo.com with specifics. Thx.
Now you are a step father and you have step daughter...
If you had your own son and one day if he is asking you "Dad I want to spend a night with your new lady (boys step mother)" How this seems..
This is what your are expecting you are staying with a lady and your concentration is on her daughter (your daughter..that too for fucking)..I hope you are not an animal..right!
Some how you might may have some brain.. It all closed with your sexual attitude..Come out..
they are lot more burning issues all over the world...
My better advice for you is...dont sit ideal work with people and work for people, which gives much more satisfaction than fuck'n..
It all happened to me too, i did terrible things, to myself, and to my stepdaughter.
The look in her eyes, the tears, doing what i told her to do, and hating myself for pushing her in a way she was not meant to be pushed. I wanted to hang myself, planned everything to make the feelings finally go away, but she told me not to do that, because i leave her alone, my wife, my daughter, friends and family. For what? Sex with a child? Risking everything? How tempting it can be?
It is still very f***ing hard to me, even at knife's point she stops me. She has threatened me that she'd leave and live with her own dad but she does not want to leave, me, her mom and little sister.
So, the choice i had was:
1) Do everything i wanted and dream about doing to her, tied up, sucking and every thing else and kill myself after... or
2) Bite my tongue, hit myself with a hammer in the head, cut myself just to lose those feelings of love for her.
Love which is naturally but not possible.
So i promised her that she would not have anything to deal with my feelings, anymore, unless she wants something from me. But that is still so far away, fortunately.
we r still friends on FB n i seen him a few times latly n i alwayz give him a big hug.
i flirt wit him big time but i think hes afraid.
I liked your comment as well. Feel free to send advice as well.
You too. I liked your note as well. Thx.
I love really very much my blood son but only appreciate my stepdaughter mostly because she is an average person with almost nothing in common with me
Since a couple hers ago I began to feel attraction for her but I have managed to keep it just in the fantasy field, I paid a hight price 20+ years ago for not being able to differentiate fantasy from reality…
Facts:
-We humans are what we are: thinking animals, so to everyone who commented that it is not "normal" to have these feeling I say you don't know the "animal" par of the human nature, you don't really know yourselves. (I can however understand a bit more the comments of moms since they don't know how male's brain works)
-ACTING on these feelings is a totally different thing and depends on the "thinking" part and there you have two fields: legal and ethic
-Legal: the limits and laws of the society & time you live in, meaning the limits of the other people upon you
-Ethic: the limits you put upon yourself according to your own values or moral
-Your own ethic/moral can "authorize" you to have a relationship with your stepdaughter but you can still go to jail, as it happens with polygamy, etc.
Besides the legal problem and the possibility of going to jail I see most posters here struggling with their own ethic/moral contradictions: They want to do something that THEY consider is wrong according to their own ethic/moral code. Than can produce a complete wreckage of your mind & spirit and the guilt feelings will ruin your life
So they should either modify-fix-adapt their own ethic/moral code or abstain of any behavior that goes agains it
-Of course modifying your now ethic/moral code is an extremely difficult task that most people would even consider because it could eventually mean to lose everything you got so far and try to start your life from scratch
If it is of any help to anyone my experience and thoughts are as follows:
-In my personal case I find positive these fantasies because
a-I can control them, meaning not crossing that line that would ruin our family (and when I say "our family" it includes our own implicit ethic/moral code)
b-They help me to feel younger and more sexually active in all senses which translates in a more vital attitude towards life in general
c-They create some bond between my stepdaughter and me that otherwise would't exist, since we have nothing else in common as human beings.
That means that these fantasies get me closer to her improving my relationship and allowing me to act more caring about her as a substitute figure for her blood father.
I tried taking more distance sometimes but it soon mutates into indifference which is not only boring but also bad for both of us in our daily lives
I married my wife when her daughter was 14, and her mother had split from her second husband. The first husband abandoned mother and fetus when the mother was only several months pregnant. The daughter grew up knowing her prior stepfather as "Dad". When the mother left the stepfather, he cut off all interaction with the daughter. As a result, when I married the mother, the daughter distrusted men, and would have nothing to do with me.
She was a physically and sexually mature teenager, and very pretty. I found her sexually attractive, but did not fantacize about her. I kept a distance, understanding that I as a male was attracted to her. When she was 15-1/2, her mother and I came into the house while she was home, and could hear her having sex with a schoolmate. I told her to have her friend leave, but as a male was almost envious of her friend. When she turned 16, she ran away from home, to live with her 18 years-old boyfriend.
To make a long story short, I did not establish any kind of psychological bond with the daughter until she was 23. She was wanting me to be "Dad", but for me as a man it was too late. Over the next years, I came to love her not as a daughter, but as a woman. I hid it from the daughter and the wife. For a period of two years, the daughter asked to live, with her husband and child, in my home--so that her husband could go back to college. In a paternal way, I did what she needed me to do. It was emotionally the most difficult thing I have done in my life--to live with a woman to whom I am attracted but cannot have.
The daughter and her husband eventually moved out of town, but had to return because of finances. The daughter came back, wanting to have an affection relationship with her father figure. I could not do that. Her affection made me uncomfortable with myself, as I had kept my feelings for her as a woman hidden for 6 years. I tried telling her how I really felt, so that I could return to keeping a distance. She was not understanding my statements, because she did not feel the same way about me. I finally called her and told her the truth about my feelings. She had nothing to do with me for a year. My wife did not understand why the daughter was avoiding her and me. I told the wife of my feelings for her daughter. I spent the next 10 months sleeping in a bedroom separate from my wife.
That was 3 years ago. The daughter and her husband moved out of town again, and in early June split up. I had promised the daughter, during discussions of her problems with her husband, that I would financially support her until she got on her feet. I had no alternative but to move her and her three children back into my home. In the time since 3 years ago, I had let the daughter know that my intentions were to be only a friend to her--hopefully an affectionate one.
My wife could not handle the situation of her daughter, this younger and beautiful woman whom I love as a woman, being in her house, near to her husband. She began accusing me of wanting to fu** her daughter. The accusation was true, but I had no intention of going in that direction. My intention was to remain a friend.
Eventually, the wife's responses became so hostile that I had to leave. I am now in an apartment. I left two months ago. I have no interaction with the daughter, but have been allowed to visit the grandchildren only in my wife's presence, at the house I left. The wife wants me to come back, but only if we can undergo counseling for my "normalcy" in my desires. Screw that. I have done the best I can, and will not be judged by others as having in some sense failed. I gave both her and her daughter 20 years of my devotion, love and support. If my wife cannot understand the dilemma, but make demands in the name of "normalcy", I do not need to be with her.
I am a stepdad myself and I get it. I really do. But please, don't do anything stupid. Don't even propose the idea to your stepdaughter because that in itself would be damaging enough to her sense of trust and security, whether she's 18 years old or otherwise.
2. Go seduce her and fuck her until your cock is without of energy.
3. Don't ever tell your wife about this, and continue to fuck your stepdaughter pussy, but don't forget your wife too, this is verry important.
4. Enjoy it, be a happy man. (This is what I was going to do if I was you)
i will fuck my stepdaughter if i want to thank you very much and hard too