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Still a Virgin - Suicide - Someone Special
I’m not sure if this is the place to talk about this but suicide is something that has been on my mind off and on again since high school back in 1980. At the moment I’m down, but certainly not dangerously at the moment. Many of the women at work are surprised that I’m not married? Unfortunately what or how can you tell someone that you’re a virgin and you haven’t even been on a date? I just thought that someone would have shown a little interest by now. I would love to find a best friend like that one who is as much interested in me as I am in them? I have such a feeling now that my time is up and that I fighting a loosing battle on this. I’m so tired of being sad 24/7.
In High school I was incredibly shy and something of a loner. Still am. In College it was better at least I didn’t have a stutter anymore. Unfortunately I did begin to gain weight and think about suicide quite a bit. I really got dangerously close a few times over the years. Recently I have gotten back in shape and I have lost most of my weight. Interestingly enough the drive in doing this has been for me and for a woman at work. I have never been as attracted to another woman as I am with her. She is warm, friendly, funny and beautiful. She is divorced and she has doing a fantastic job raising her 4 kids. How she interacts and is raising her kids really impresses me. She always has a positive attitude on it all. I would love to be the one helping her out with the kids and sharing her life. Just a chance to make her happy! I think she know I like her. The problem here is that she is seeing another guy. I just know I’m going to get burned again if I tell her my feelings.
At times I feel like I’m being a total fool over her. Think about it. For a year now Monday thru Saturday I get up in the morning at 3:30am and walk 6-8 miles in the morning before work. On Mondays, Wednesday, and Friday nights I have been lifting weights after work for an hour. As for nutrition, it’s been chicken, seafood and veggies. All this and I know she will turn me down if I tell her my feelings. If I don’t she sure was one hell of an incentive to get in shape. The funny or sad thing is that she will probably never know!
This is just a brief taste of my issues with shyness, stutter, job issues and lack of companionship. I just can’t get a grasp on how talking to someone about all this could help. It sounds so weird; on the other hand my life hasn’t been normal that’s for sure. Thanks for listening!
In High school I was incredibly shy and something of a loner. Still am. In College it was better at least I didn’t have a stutter anymore. Unfortunately I did begin to gain weight and think about suicide quite a bit. I really got dangerously close a few times over the years. Recently I have gotten back in shape and I have lost most of my weight. Interestingly enough the drive in doing this has been for me and for a woman at work. I have never been as attracted to another woman as I am with her. She is warm, friendly, funny and beautiful. She is divorced and she has doing a fantastic job raising her 4 kids. How she interacts and is raising her kids really impresses me. She always has a positive attitude on it all. I would love to be the one helping her out with the kids and sharing her life. Just a chance to make her happy! I think she know I like her. The problem here is that she is seeing another guy. I just know I’m going to get burned again if I tell her my feelings.
At times I feel like I’m being a total fool over her. Think about it. For a year now Monday thru Saturday I get up in the morning at 3:30am and walk 6-8 miles in the morning before work. On Mondays, Wednesday, and Friday nights I have been lifting weights after work for an hour. As for nutrition, it’s been chicken, seafood and veggies. All this and I know she will turn me down if I tell her my feelings. If I don’t she sure was one hell of an incentive to get in shape. The funny or sad thing is that she will probably never know!
This is just a brief taste of my issues with shyness, stutter, job issues and lack of companionship. I just can’t get a grasp on how talking to someone about all this could help. It sounds so weird; on the other hand my life hasn’t been normal that’s for sure. Thanks for listening!
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Women lose interest very easily and no matter what you do sometimes they just want something new. I was a virgin fairly late in life and now sometimes I wish I still was. Just be aloof but aware. I guarantee you that women have "thrown it at you" at least a few times over the years. The key is learnig how to catch it, and not setting the standards too high. Also you may have been so wrapped up in wanting a certain person that you didn't see the one throwing it at you. She noticed your aloofness and attempted to get your attention. Be aloof but aware. Don't act desperate.
signed. the immature child.
~Life Sucks, Get over it!
this may seem harsh but in all honesty its the absolute truth and everyone that has been through hard times knows this sacred saying, so to simply put it GET OVER IT! remember that thier is alot of poeple who have been through far worse than heartbreak and survive. it would be an insult to those poeple if you were to simply take your own life when others would give anything to keep thiers. Your are being selfish not only to yourself but to your friends and family. so in harsh but truthful words im telling you to "GET THE FUCK OVER IT"
LOVE,.............LOVE LIFE
PEACE,.............KEEP PEACE IN YOUR HEART
AND CHICKENGREASE!.....AND TASTE THE JUICY
FLAVOR THAT THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER.
Not as depressed as before but I still get down about it. Its sex that I'm dying for but a real relationship with a women. You someone who cares and is my best friend! Some day?
Well I haven't killed myself yet but the erge is strong!
The wonderful lady in question whom I really liked, right after my last posting, quit and in now working at another company. i know I'll never see her again. For myself it's gotten worse. Two weeks ago I was laid off from work due to cut backs! Dam like it couldn't get any worse?