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Still Not Over My Ex
2 years ago I met an amazing guy. We fell in love instantly and became not only lovers, but best friends. We did everything together, had all the same friends....we were very close. I ended up moving a couple hours away to go to school and we were temporarily going to do this long distance thing. My boyfriend would come to visit me and after a while of doing this he began making friends who he would hang out with while he was waiting for me to get out of class. I didn't get along well with these new friends....well, it's not that we didn't get along, we were just different. They were into fashion and drugs and all that stuff while I am more low key. My boyfriend and I started getting in little arguments about it here and there. We would get along great whenever that whole scene wasn't discussed but whenever either of us brought it up we would end up fighting. He ended up breaking up with me and broke my heart. I did not want to let go and begged him to give me another chance, and he responded by getting a new girlfriend about 3 or 4 weeks after the break up. This new girl is a model. I have never been so jealous. It's been 9 months since all this happened, and I am so not even close to being over it. I have done all that I can to try to distract myself and move on....I've made new friends, I got a new job, I've gone on dates...but I still miss him. We don't talk at all but I think about him everyday. It makes me feel pathetic but I just can't help it. I still love him. I don't know what my problem is. I've hear recently that he lives with this new girlfriend, and it just made me feel crappy all over again.
Do you think it's normal?
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I suggest you should forget him. You will never get him back. In case he will break up with his new GF don't get his backup.
I don't mean to be rude or hurtful in any way but--is it possible your relationship meant a lot more to you than to him? Were those times of being "close" as you described, only seen that way in your eyes? I don't know you or your ex, and I can only guess at the dynamics of your relationship. From what you have said however, you are clearly deserving of better.
I understand that you still love him, but think about this: You are young with many hopes and dreams, and have a lot to offer the world if only you let yourself. Will you let him take that away from you?
It is your right and your duty to take your life back, so that the next person you meet and fall in love with will be able to enjoy the full and healed you--and not just the pieces left behind.
Write down everything you hate about what he did to you, and then tear it up and throw it out or burn it, shred it, anything--it sounds strange, maybe even scary, but this form of symbolic "destroying" has been proven to visually help people move and is used by therapists and the like.
Finally, write down everything you want and everything you will do. Start simple. "I will smile at a stranger today." Then get out there and do it. You will gain what you need to move on.
He doesn't want you. He doesn't love you. He hasn't called you. He wants nothing to do with you. He loves another person. He lives with her and have probably talked marriage. He probably hasn't thought about you in a very long time.
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND NEVER WIL!
But you know what.. I couldn't get over my ex too.. I broke up with him and we were also v close and he was my best friend and the greatest guy i've ever met.. but I couldn't get over him at all even 2 years passed and I totally avoided talking to him for 2 whole years.. Still thought about him every second.. Until I talked to him again ..we had a deal to stay friends since we were best friends long ago before falling in love with eachotha
The funny thing is that im not too emotionally attached to him anymore .. since I started talking to him.
Just think about it..
I cope with memories that are hurtful and make me sad or angry by telling myself that the people only still exist in my imagination.
If you don't see the people anymore then to an extent this is true, you might not know if they are alive or dead or what the look like anymore. In your mind they are the same and it is there that you keep these things alive.
You have the power to choose to be happier. It is within your complete control. Tell yourself this. When thoughts of him, or his girlfriend or anything that hurts comes into your head tell yourself how silly it is to think of them and just think about something else, put on a movie or music or do something you enjoy that will take your mind off it.
It's not about suppressing memories or denying them it is just about not actively perpetuating them. Thinking about these things is just a form of self harm. The more you fill your mind or occupy your time with other stuff the less these thoughts will occur and the less they will hurt after a while.
Before you know it you will be over it.