Sudden (almost) breakdown

50% Normal

3 Comments

Years and years ago my Dad left my Mum, but my first memory is of my Dad telling us he had to go, but that he still loved us and that 'we'd always see him', we did but at the time I couldn't understand that (I must have been 4 or 5) so first I find goodbyes hard, in the back of my mind it's always: 'I'm never going to see them again' even though I don't think anyone's ever left me for good, I see my Dad every weekend and some evenings during the week.
However, I've always found this difficult, everything my Dad did used to upset me, espically if he split up from a girlfriend, and it got to the piont where I had to have a counsillor to realise that I shouldn't do that, and now it's okay, I look forward to the good things about being with my Dad, and I've learnt to stop worrying about things so much, but like this week, sometimes it's like a piece of paper, that just kinda of covers everything, and that is if I'm busy (like if I work myself stupid I don't think about the things I'm worried about) and I've found that this has made me good in school, so for that it's good- BUT as soon as I start chilling things kinda come through. Like this week I've been working really hard at a work placement, and I've really enjoyed it, and I've worked harder if I've started thinking about something, but tonight I stopped and chilled out, and all it took was for someone to ask if I was 'okay' online and everything came out, and I was crying and shaking.
1. is it normal to cry nearly every time you say goodbye or at leaste feel a twank in my heart if I'm saying goodbye to someone I'm going to see tomorrow.
2. is it normal to cover up my emotions the way I seem to?
3. is it normal to just blow up as I have explained above?
If they are- how do I deal with it?
Thanks in advance