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Tangled
34% Normal
13 Comments

One of my friends is cutting herself. She did it for two years 13-15 and I had only just met her when she stopped. However, due to severe abuse from her boyfriend (as I can bear witness) she has started again. I walked in on her cutting herself in my bathroom one day with my razor. I cleared up the mess and banaged her cuts, but I wake up with the image of her bleeding wrists in my head every night. I'm so scared she will kill herself.
I tried persuading her to dump her boyfriend, and she stopped talking to me.
When she started talking again, she told me that her boyfriend had threatened to kill ME if she told the police or left him.
I flew into a mad rage and the next time I saw the guy (at her house) I busted his nose, kicked him in the ribs and finally knocked him out, leaving him with severe bruises and cuts.
He hasn't said anything to anyone for fear of being called a wuss (because I'm a girl, and he's a foot taller than me) but he warned me that if I try anything, he'll kill my friend, as I don't care what he does to me. We're tied up in this together and I need a way out. I can handle myself, but I'm so scared for my friend.
Also, I am terrified by my violence against the boyfriend. I'm not violent usually - i'm a vegetarian and dont advocate force - but I went mad and I cannot remember anything in between seeing the guy and then him lying unconscious at my feet.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (13)
METHOSjr. (83)
2005-06-15 10:36:53
Dang! You could just spend more time together. RoomMates? That way you can do as much ass-beating you want.
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aoeuid (376)
2005-06-21 00:12:35
He's probably bluffing, but you can't afford to take the chance that he isn't. If he's unbalanced enough that he could mean the threats, he's unbalanced enough that he could kill somebody anyway... the best thing you can do is get the police involved and let them deal with it.
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aoeuid (376)
2005-06-21 00:15:02
As for the "lost time" -- not remembering a traumatic experience is fairly common. It's called "dissociation", and it means that part of your brain took care of it and blocked it off from the rest of your brain as a form of protection. In extreme cases, this can be "dissociative identity disorder" (eg. multiple personalities), but that usually happens in people who were severely abused as children... in your case, if you weren't abused and you've only "lost time" once, it's probably just normal dissociation.
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Amandalicious (571)
2005-07-06 16:44:28
You have to either talk her into leaving him or cut yourself free. You can't help her if she doesn't want help and you can't sit there and watch these things happening to her (ask risk your own safety trying to protect her). I know it sounds harsh, but unless she's willing to change there's nothing you can do. Do you really want to sit around watching her let this happen for 5, 10, 20 years? When is enough, enough? Maybe you can stage an intervention with her family & other friends.
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Element10010 (520)
2005-07-06 16:52:27
Go to the police. If he really is physically abusive, then get him for assault. While he is in jail, it would be optimal if you got out of town. If you can't, get a restraining order.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-07-07 11:59:12
@: Element10010
Hey, I was the one who posted this. Thanks for all the comments guys, but as a little note to Element10010 - a restaining order will be so much use once it's stuffed down my throat and rigor mortis is setting in nicely. For that bastard, I'm going for the police, and hopefully he will not kill me
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Element10010 (520)
2005-07-07 13:58:31
A tip about restraining orders: The do not physically keep people away. They do it psychologically. If he gets near you, you get inside and don't let him inside. Then you call the police, because he can face fines or jail for being that close to you.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-07-14 06:04:03
I know who you are, poster. You stay away from me and my girlfriend, alright?? She's perfectly happy with me. Sure she needs discipline from time to time, but otherwise we are fine. Don't you fucking dare go to the police, or I'll rip out your spleen.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-07-14 06:10:45
@: Anonymous (Story Author)
To the above - so it's just coincidence that she keeps cutting herself? As for discipline - what possible crime could she have commited that makes you turn her entire abdomen black? I dont give a fuck what you do to me. If I'm found dead, maybe it'll give her a chance to open her eyes and run.
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METHOSjr. (83)
2005-07-14 11:41:06
Do Not worry, V, I, Sir METHOS shall protect you from any bludgening. Also, I have Zombie killing weapons we can use to fight your Nemesis.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-07-15 00:57:44
Thank you, Sir Methos. I could do with support on this - all of the other people who know about this shit have done nothing and have simply been pretending its not been happening. This doesnt help, particularly with threats of physical violence against myself and friends. Like I said, I don't care what happens to me, but my friends mean everything - which is why I need help before I go to the police, because I'm scared of what will happen to them.
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Anonymous
2005-07-23 00:37:34
I don't know where you are, but in my country people who cut themselves are often put into psychiatric hospital to help them. It's that serious. And people who threaten other people with physical violence can be imprisoned just for that.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-07-25 12:41:06
In answer to the above, I am from the UK. We have GBH and ABH for violence. People who cut themselves are not automatically admitted to pyschiactric hospitals though. I'm getting help in bringing this guy down - after my retaliation to his comment on this site, he followed me and then grabbed me and cut me across the chest with a knife. I just want anybody who has suffered this kind of violence (or rape) that you should not be held silent by fear on the subject. Tell somebody, get help. At least now I have proof that violence is being committed - even if it's against me and not against my friend, I can get him put away for that. The earlier you tell, the easier it is to catch the assailant.
Never let yourself be subdued. I had to have stitches on that injury, and I told the truth about how I got them. Once some last details have been taken, the police are bringing this guy down.
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