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Teacher and student..
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I'm twenty-eight years old and I love my job. I'm a high school teacher and I have been for two years. Here's the problem: I'm in love with one of my students. She is one of the most mature and intelligent young women that I have ever met. We share the same taste in music in movies, we both have a passion for literature and learning, and I think she shares my feelings. She's sixteen. I feel really guilty because I've always considered myself completely normal up until now. I didn't really notice her during her freshman year, and I've had a girlfriend for the entire time I've known her. I wish we could have met under different circumstances and I think she wishes the same, too. Am I a complete degenerate for feeling this way?

I would love to recieve comments from teachers that have been in the same situation. I'm sure I'm not alone in my misery. Also, if my feelings persist, should I look her up after she graduates? I'd have to keep a secret, but God knows I'm willing.
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Comments (55)
In my opinion, if you love her and she loves you, what else matters?
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hiya
i am 18 years old & currently involved in a relationship with my 26 year old teacher.
as far as i'm concerned, it is by far the best thing that ever happened to me. He is perfect, & keeps me safe. He is so considerate, & is far less sleazy then guys my own age.
we nearly didn't have anything happen between us, because we were worried about the public's perception of us, but love is love.
we just keep the relationship hidden, it makes life easier, but when i graduate, things will change.

please, don't let her slip between your fingers.
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I think that you should wait until after you graduate, and then tell her how you feel. Make sure you let her know that it's fine if she doesn't feel the same way, you just wanted to get it off your chest. That way, you won't ruin your career and you won't let a great opportunity go by, either.
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You two are just people.
You're not a teacher in her eyes, you're you.
She's not a student in your eyes, she's her.
If you love her, don't make the mistake of letting her go.
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It all depends on if she recipricates your feelings. Obviously you can't pursue her now while she's sixteen. But if after she graduates you two are still as close, it would be ok to contact her and see if a relationship develops. And it's quite common that teachers and students have feelings for one another. You figure they're together for long periods of time, they work together closely, especially when the student has issues in the teacher's subject, it's perfectly natural that an attraction could be present. And it's not so unsual that they carry on healthy relationships after the fact. In my high school, a teacher a few years before my time fell in love with his student. After graduation, they got married and a year after that, they had a beautiful baby girl. Twenty some years later, they're still as happy as ever. Love is truly blind. :)
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My daughter(14) has a crush on her teacher(27),
She calls it love. I have reason to believe her teacher is interested in her. she never got a hundred in everything in one class before and she only got one now?(unbelievable!)

Anyway,
It is normal to love your student that way.As long as you two are in love, I say go for it but be careful.
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I know that this was posted a long time ago by I think that any teacher in this position obviously needs to be very cautious, however if one is able to approach the student and reveal their feelings without fear of the student rushing off to tell the authorities then the teacher should reveal their love for the pupil, concisely and only through words at this stage. If there is a chance that the student shares these feelings, the mere mention of love and genuine feelings for them from the person that they truly adore would make them happier than you could imagine (I'm going on a theoretical personal reaction as I would be the happiest girl alive), so therefore if one was able to trust the student, they could build the foundation for something which could and only should blossom once the student has left the school and is of an appropriate age. Once this point is reached, I don't see why the relationship should be any different from any other loving relationship, and in my opinion, if you have both reached adulthood, you could have the perfect build up of trust and appreciation to sustain a relationship that many can only dream of.

Buttercupsunday I think that your comment gives a really interesting insight into a supposedly taboo world, as from what you have said, you seem really happy and I think it's amazing to hear from somebody who has found love in this position that so many teachers and students find so difficult.

I hope that people who find love in any situation can make it work, because as many people have said, love is love, it should be treasured and not taken for granted, no matter how difficult things are, true love is always worth it.
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I have a HUGE crush on my English teacher. I wish our feelings were mutual, but what the heck.. In my dreams, right? Anyways... If both of you are in love, why not go for it?
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Be as consistent as you can with the signals you send.
Girls that age fall hard, and I mean really hard. My teacher liked me when I was a freshman--I was 14 and he was 29, and he showed it. But then it began to be obvious in public from our body language the way we felt about each other. Teachers and other students will jump on this. They look for it, actually. It will not be as easy for her to hide her feelings for you or keep from telling her pals b/c of her age. To make a long story short, we ended up being watched all the time, and my teacher had to always prove himself innocent. I waited for him and asked him out after graduation, and he told me to let him go. It's been 11 years since that phone call and I'm still devastated, though we're both married to other spouses now. I advise you to hold your peace until she graduates. If it's meant to be, she'll fall for you before then anyway.
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Hello. I'm still stunned that I actually found a post like this from a teacher.

I am one of those fellow students who is in love with their teacher, and I have to say that if you really feel something for her then please, build up the best friendship with her that you can. It'll be irresponsible to try and pursue her now, but if you really believe she shares your feelings then try to be friends with her until she graduates and after that, just see what happens. Lord knows my teacher seems to show no intention of doing that. I hope one teacher is kind enough to do that.
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I personally think it's fine!!! Not legal, but I think if you love someone and they love you it shouldn't be illigal!!!! I'm in love with my teacher, and it makes me soooo mad knowing I will never get him!!!!! It should be like a long time ago, when it didn't matter who you loved!!!!
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More and more people these days are wanting to have even slight romance with people who are a generation apart. I think it's a perverted sick, bible-ripping, devil-worshipping way of love. Those 80 year old rich men that go out with 25 year old bomshells, the students with the teachers, the priests with the altar boys, it's a new trend. Even if it's true love (think of the odds of winning Powerball) when an old person breeds with a young person, the older person will be dead/closer to death when the child graduates/does other older milestones.
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Is this for real? Because I feel the EXACT same thing towards one of my teachers. I just can't concentrate when we're in the same room.. & during the hour & forty five minutes of the class, I am secretly happy to see this person but also very distracted. & every after school I always took the long way just to see a glimpse to make my day perfect. [lol]

My advice is,
You should wait for her to graduate, so as not to ruin anyone's lives. If you still think you can't forget about her after some years, just get a little close to her, & NOTHING more than that.

Goodluck. :)
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confusedbutsane
My advice, from a students p.o.v. I believe that to act on this now would be stuupid and could hurt everyone involved. Wait until she's graduated until you do anything stupid, and even then be careful. We girls are sensitive little things.
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Stay close but not too close. If she really means that much to you, then go after her-after she graduates. I'm a student and would have loved for my teacher to come clean and tell me how he feels. There's nothing wrong with this situation, contrary to what other people say. The only difference in this situation is the age difference. Nobody should be telling you who you should like. That's for you to decide. So go after her; or you'll regret it later in life. Good luck, and do what makes you happy.
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I think that u shudnot lose her...

I also loved and married the girl who was once my student. I was her tuition teacher when she was in her 10th grade(she was 15 and i was 22).I was studying for my Engineering Under-graduation at that time. So we loved for 5 years and married after i did my masters and got a good job in a reputed company.
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Thank you so much. I didn't even think to ask for a student's perspective.
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Anonymous
Glad I could help.
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Anonymous
i understand how u feel eventhough i'm a student cos i'm having a similar relationaship with my teacher at uni.my teacher is 30 years older than me yet there is something really special within him which makes him standout from other guys. there is always a barrier b/w student and teacher relationships. if u love her u should let her go and let her explore her own life, once she graduates she will meet new people who have similar interest who she will study and work with. the relationship b/w her and them will be greater than what u share with her now!
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It is "I" before "E" ecept after "C" You fake f*cker!
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@: BAGMAN
Ever hear of a typo? You know, not all teachers teach English. Not all teachers have perfect grammar or spelling. Oh, and some of us teach science. Interesting word, science. Defies the ol' "I before E except after C" rule. Jeez.
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Hey, story author.
If you actually are a real teacher, i was wondering if you could help me out with a problem i have. If you go on my profile and click on the story which says "What is my teacher thinking?" I would like to get a unique perspective on this situation. My teacher is acting very weirdly and it is getting it the way of my concentrating on school work.
Thanks
And for your situation. I am 16, and i know for a fact that many girls my age are interested in teachers however you must make sure that she is interested in the same way as you.
I feel like there is nothing wrong in pursuing a relatioship with her if you sincerely mean a RELATIONSHIP and not a screwfest.
My uncle met my aunt when he was a teacher and she was in grade 11 and they are two of the happiest people i have ever met. So remember, obviously you are in a position of authority however we are human and feelings will plague us whether we damnwell want them or not :P
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im going to answers this not as a teacher but as a young woman, because i just got out of hogh school, so i will show you how i feel about it from a different point of view, ok so i have to say that some people might think im wierd but i have always that that if you two realy LOVE each other, or just want to go for it ,hell, go ahead. I have to say, one of my fantasies would be a very hot teacher, whos not to old, hey your not old, well for me im 18. i just hate that when teachers get involved with their student they make his whole deal of grap, yes sometimes the student didnt want to, but other times they do, if i was in love with one of my teachers i would, ajaja to bad its in high school, cuz if it was in college it would be a little different, but i have to say , if she does like it, its soooo romantic like in a movie, good luck
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I feel for you man, I have a friend who has a crush on her teacher, but she doesn't know if the teacher likes her back. I'm about the age of this girl in your story. I can understand. If you need anything, message me.
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I was the 16 year old student, he was the 24 year old teacher.
I never understood our relationship, what I meant to him or what he meant to me.
We met again 30 years later when it was much to late and I realized how much I have always loved him and held on to him in my heart, his feelings never changed either.
There is nothing we can do about it now. We have commitments and responsibilities to others. I don't think I ever going a sixty second period without thinking of him.
There is just no way to make a person realize what is happening to them when they are young. A 16 year old cannot understand what he/she has not yet experienced. Growing up needs to be done and only time and space will allow that. Unfortunately, life is not always as organized as we need it to be and things happen out of sequence.
You do need to wait till she grows up, but unfortunately by then, because of your age difference it may be too late.
I have no real answers for you, because unfortunately I myself am still confused. For some reason, he was brought back into my life 30 years later just to show me all I had been missing. If it is real, you will feel the brunt of the anguish now, she will feel it later, and the love will never die.
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I have been in a similar situation, and I thought that I was the only one to ever go through something so equally painful and wonderful ... but now looking into this issue, I see it's not usual but not unheard of.

Your description nearly mirrors mine, except that I was a senior in high school wildly in love with a 24-year-old. At the time, I wanted desperately for him to pursue me somehow, to show me that I stood out to him above other students. However, today I am so grateful that while there was an attraction between us, he never overstepped the line.

Now, I am in college and I still have a friendship with this teacher. There are still little hints of something, but the friendship is progressing slowly, as getting over the teacher/student boundary takes some gradual adjustment.

In your situation, I agree with many of the other commenters... PLEASE, for both of your sakes, wait until she graduates. Then, if there is still something worth pursuing, go for it.

Right now, a relationship simply cannot be right between the two of you. What if you were to have some kind of encounter that led to the loss of your job? How much unnecessary pain and humiliation would each of you experience?

But, if this is as wonderful as you believe it to be, then it is certainly worth waiting for. High school is a short four years. There is a lifetime afterward, and much to look forward to. :)
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Hi, man, I read your story.

Thank God I found a person experiencing the same thing.

I'm a teacher, and this 15 year-old had some strong feelings on me. I tried to deny myself that I don't love him. But things got worse and my feelings got uncontrollable.

I couldn't concentrate whenever I had to teach his class. He always made his moves.

I couldn't stop crying every night, knowing I must never want him. I tried to be harsh, to make him hate me. I tried so hard to avoid him, to make him let go of me. But it only made both of us sad.

A year later, his classmates reported me to the principal about my marking standard. I soon asked the principal so I didn't have to teach his class again. And the principal granted it.

It began more excruciating because I missed him, and everytime I went to the teachers' room, I had to pass his class, he used to be there waiting to see me. I always ignored him, and it made us sad.

I couldn't take it anymore and started to write a diary. I started to ask for help from Christian strangers on facebook blogs. I received 2 helpers and they only told me to hang in there and to pray.

2 months later, one of his classmates got a bike injury, so his class was moved to the first floor. I think God helped so I didn't have to pass his classroom.

I still cry at night. I still miss him. Thank God I always avoid him, so I never did anything stupid.
God knows I still miss him.
But if God asked me, I would say I miss him so much.
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In my high school i had a huge crush on one of my teachers- it was really difficult for me to get over in fact i'm still getting over it now, i was 14 then and i'm 17 now. Now that i've moved to a new college it's started all over again but with a different teacher.

The point i'm tryingto make here is that, sometimes, in my case, i mistake the feeling of passion and lust to be love though it was just a little infatuation. She's only 16 years old and to be honest, i'm so glad that nothing will happen between me and any of my teachers because i know they have a life behind it all, she has her whole life ahead of her like i did when i was just 14. Though i may be 17 now, if i ever got involved with a teacher i would be so dissapointed in myself.

I don't see your story as wrong at all- it's totally normal wheather it's from a student or a teachers point of view! But you need to think about things before you act on anything and understand that she has a life ahead of her and so do you!

& FYI, you should totally read Love Lessons byDavid Belbin- it's an amazing story for something like this! I hope I've helped and not just rambled on :] xxx
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I graduated from high school last june, and I developed the most amazing relationship (nothing physical, because we were both mature enough to know that that would be absurd) with an english teacher in my school. I am still in love with him, but I am in college now across the country, and it wouldn't matter anyways because he is studying in a different country. we have a million things in common, and i at first thought i was crazy for noticing things, but i knew somehow that he had some feelings for me. it seemed meant to be.

i saw him everyday for a period of time for about 4 hours at least because he was the drama director, and i was the lead role. I don't think you are crazy at all. I kind of wish he was open enough to tell me if he was in love with me. he said he didn't want to get too attatched because he knew he was leaving, and i would be hurt, so the situation is a little different. also, i was 18 at the time, so it wasn't horribly illegal except that he was a teacher at my school. We still talk, and i still love him. there is no reason to think you are crazy, but definitely don't pursue her right now, because of her age, and because when you are that young you don't know what real love is, and are not ready for what it can do to you.

I am happy that i know what love is like, but it tears me apart. it makes me feel like i have part of me empty. she may not be (probably isn't) ready for those kinds of feelings. i don't think i was. i thought i was super human and fell fast and hard, and now i'm suffering the consequences.

if you genuinely feel love for her, maybe keep in touch, and be realistic. don't do anything stupid. and keep her life in mind. luckily, the teacher i know was smart and didn't do anything that i would regret because i really didn't care at that time. i just wanted our love to grow. hopefully you are the same if you find that she is interested.
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i am a girl of 19 and have been madly in love with a teacher of mine for past 2 years... so much that i worked hard enough to rank first in the city i live to gain his attention.. and fortunately i got that too. innitially i thought he was attending me coz i was intelligent. later i noticed him looking at me almost all the time in class, observing everything i did, folloe=wing me till i left the tution center, and i really know the look in his eyes was that of a lover. he stopped me after class to solve questions.. and sat next to me very very close to answer any querry i asked.. i know he likes me... and i too love him... but the hell shit problem is that he is married... he was not when we met and fell in love.. he has never said anything to me about it.. i hope he does some day... may be after i become something in life and have a safe career... i hope things become fine between us... and i become very successful...
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I am in a somewhat same situation. I really like my reading teacher, but there is a problem. He is getting married soon, and hasnt ever looked at me in a " i like u " way. Although it hurts, I cant let it get to me. He has the same interests and likes as i do, especially basketball. He is an assistant coach for girls varsity basketball. He graduated from the University of Akron, which my mom works there. I cant do anything now with the fact that i like my teacher. All i can do is enjoy the feeling while i have it. Although my relationship with my current boyfriend is in jeopardy
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Although i do occasionally find him staring at me, and sometimes sharing a laugh with me. I only wish to be his age. His eyes are incredible, making me freeze up in my spot when we accidentally lock eyes in class. Its ironic. I freeze up outside, but inside im melting.
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Of course it's normal. I tell you now, I'm fifteen and my teacher ( who's twenty-one ) , we're in a "mutual relationship". We share spoons (lol yea.), help each other with the art programs in school but of course, he knows his limitations inside the school. And he said he'll wait for me to GRADUATE. For both of your sakes, wait for the right time. :)b
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I am a music teacher (single), and have adult women students (mostly younger than me - and BTW am happy to say younger women actually like me *that* way). But I have never combined business with pleasure.

Well, I've had a student for about a year now, who, at one point due to the business she works for having had cash-flow issues and cutting her hours, I decided to mention to that I am doing a start-up unrelated to music and that I could pay her to train and if things work out, for her to have an actual job, to which she agreed.

Needless to say against all expectations (and not looking for anything to happen), the chemistry just built up, and sometimes she gets dressed up "really" nicely, and is doing the usual body language things like crossing and uncrossing her legs, flipping her hair (sorry it's kind of graphic). I am really interested in her but the last thing I need is to have bad press get out about my studio, it could ruin my business. I have in no way touched her or given her any but the briefest compliments on work well done, and none whatsoever about looks or appearance. If anything I have acted slightly aloof so as not to send out any "crossing-the-line" signals, except I do have a professional manner that is always friendly and helpful, and I do ask about her life, etc.

I just wonder what I should do about this whole thing. I know what I want to do, but that's not always the best arbiter of what one should do.

Thoughts?
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Hi Francophile22,

I am in a similar situation but on the opposite side. I am an adult music student in my 20's having a crush on my teacher, he is in his 40's. I think there is this sexual tension between you two since I did all the same above mentioned in your post. Only difference is I don't have the financial situation that she had and I am not single. We touched each other hands tho, because we are string players, I said I am curious about his hand, and quickly he touched me right back. He commented mine like babies. I will bring him some coffee or chocolate etc. He said I am spoiling him. I think your student is waiting for you to make a move on her maybe she is afraid of rejection. As a woman, I know my teacher likes me too but he does not want to cross the line, we do flirt and we text, he is very responsive.

But I think it is perfect normal for two single adults to have a realtionship. that is not my case then, if you have suggestion for me, that will be great.

I suggest if you really like her, try to get to know her as a person better in a longer time, by going out together alone or in a group to do some activities you both enjoy, make it less obvious that you can call it a date before you are sure about to make a move on her. Because you don't want to lose your reputation as a good teacher if the courtship fails. just my 2 cents. It sounds like you are a Francophile? and me too, my music teacher is from France. lol
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hey im from south tx n i juz wanna say ive been in love wid my english teacher since lazt year. well currently she is going through alot of problems and i feel bad 4 her. i like when she reads to the class she is just an amazing.. nd very beautiful, kind hearted lady. diz may seem odd but i like her voice..
im pretty sure she is aware dat i have feelingz 4 her. i highly doubt a relationship between us will progress but i love her so much nd whether she ok wid it or not.. i cant kontrol d'z feelingz
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I'm in love with my teacher, he's 33 and I'm 18. I'm going to college and nobody knows we're in love, well, just a couple of friends I can really trust. I've tried to break up with him like 3 times, but every time I do that I want to be with him more! If we're both adults, is it ilegal? my school's ''rule book'' doesn't say anything related to this... What should I do?
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Just go for it if you know she likes you back! Also , now i am in the same situation( her spot ) and my teacher likes me as well. and i don't know what to do, but i have feelings for him.
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HachiLOL
this comment might be late but actually i am in the same situation as you,i am 15 and i like my teacher,he's 27~28 i think.Eah i am really confusing at first because i dont really know what love is but by the time passing i finally figure out how's that feeling when you like someone,it's sweet,itza......hard to describe,basically it's fantastic,i dunno,i dunno what to do,should i tell him that i like him? if i do..how embarrass that would be when we have classes together......but remember that when love come, you cant walk away.We are all humans,we all have feeling,right?It doesnt really matter that what he/she is.
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ILOVETOHELP
Do I know you ? because I am 16 and I feel like , I know you.Are you ? I feel so weird when I read this ..
If you are the teacher that I love , weird cause he is also 28 , ahh oh Lord , akward.
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wha da fuck dasss hella weird nigga dont do that shit, you finna get caught up. #jailbait
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Hey there
Well I am a senior in high school and I will admit that I have crushed on one of my one of my teachers. I have been crushing on him since last year and I have gotten very close to him. I really enjoy being with him and all that. We talk to each other about personal things. I know that I sound very stupid saying this but I think that he sees me way more than a student. Even if he did I would not risk his career because he does not deserve to lose his job over an 17 year old. I really do like him a lot. People began to notice that we were too close to each other so I decided to stop seeing him with much frequency. Since I love him so much I will stop seeing him for quite a while. He is one of the guys that I do not regret crushing on.
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I was 16 8 years ago. Can you please give me the first letter of her first name? Your story sounds eerily familiar to me. I know this was a long time ago but I hope you see this and respond. I would like to know if I'm crazy or not.
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hmm not a good idea.
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Moi
I am amazed how many teachers have been in the news lately for getting involved with students. They have been sentenced to jail, ruined their careers, destroyed their marriages and families, AND not to mention how they've hurt and messed up those children's minds. And you want to get envolved with a student?!
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@: Moi
No, I don't want to get involved with a student. I want to keep my job, thank you. I think you might have some misgivings. It would be completely out of line for me to pursue her now and I would never do that. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to get through this, especially from other teachers. When I asked if I should look her up after she graduates I did NOT mean that I would hand her her diploma and then chase her down like some dirty old man. I meant, should I continue the close relationship we have now and see if it develops into anything new once we are both legally adults? Or should I avoid her now, at the risk of losing her as a friend, in order to quell any feelings on either part? I want to do the responsible thing and I don't want to lose her.
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i know this is years later, but what did you do in the end?
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Greenleaf
I'm a student, not a teacher as you expect but maybe i can help. I think you should keep your relationship with her. You two love with each other right? Then keep going. We don't know what eill happen in future, but maybe if you let her down now, then you will regret it someday later.
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@: Moi
I know exactly what you're going through although my situation was the other way around.

My advice would be to go out more and meet people of your age and although it may be hard at first try and move on. Probably she doesn't feel the same way even if she does remember that if something goes wrong with the relationship you'd both be hurt and do you really want to have to deal with the parents?
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this is pathetic. she's the child & you are the grown up. ACT GROWN UP!!! if you a teacher logic should be winning out against al emotion. LOGICALLY this girl is your accident waiting to happen...
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Anonymous
take her and fuck her senseless. i mean, you'll screw up your life, but hey! everyone likes sex with their students!
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Yummmy...16 year old vagina is nice and tight...go for it.
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ooo Lesbie
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There are two main issues now and another to consider down the road. First, be aware of the age of consent in your state. I just posted the link regarding this issue on another post today, it is:


http://www.ageofconsent.com/


Click on "Age of Consent Chart" within the above link to reveal what is legal age of sexual consent in your particular state. I'm not suggesting to act on it, but know it, knowledge is power. If she is of legal age, you cannot be prosecuted by the justice system assuming she consented of course. But, you would be violating ethical guidelines as a teacher and it is grounds for the school system to dismiss you, terminate your employment regardless if she is of legal age or not.

I suggest for you to wait until she leaves the school system before approaching her as a friend, better yet, wait until she graduates from your school.

Time changes everything, and likely she will move on to other people after departing your school so do not expect much. It is common though for young people to make many friendships, and for most to end after a short time. Even if she wishes to pursue friendship with you later on, you will have to deal with a lot of headaches, primarily from her family members who will go to great efforts to torpedoe your friendship and turn her away from you.

Understand what will likely follow and you will be the wiser for it. I wish you luck.
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Anonymous
your sick. go fuck a tree bastard..
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