The Mad Woman Called My Mother.

34 Comments

Only happens a couple of times a week? That's quite often, actually.

I really think your mother needs help. Speak to a teacher, or your doctor, and get some advice as to what to do.

Definitely do not go to a teacher or a person in authority, unless you want your mother locked up that is. Speak to another member of the family or a family friend.
My parents used to have really loud and aggressive arguments and I thought they would split up but they didn't (married 40 years).
You need to talk to her and tell her what you're thinking and that you're afraid for your safety.

Thank you for the suggestions. But the thing is, is everyday is a bad day for my mother, so she's constantly on the verge of being almost explosive with the exceptions of a few rare occasions. So what I'm trying to say is that I don't even know how to talk to her without pissing her off no matter how careful I am. I am afraid of ruining those rare occasions I mentioned by bring any of this up to her....please, do you have any other suggestions???

I forgot to mention, my family thinks she is very good working mother. I have no brothers or sisters...and no father that is alive. No one would believe me, or they would, but not think it was so bad and think I am a bad daughter that needs to support her mother more.

Hey I really feel for you. I was in a similar situation at work, where I was having a big problem with somebody and I had no one to turn to.

Turns out that I did have an ally but I didn't immediately think that they could help. Just talking with somebody will help, what about approaching one of your mothers friends?

Don't focus on the problem, concentrate your mind on the possible solutions. It will come right in the end. Sometimes it takes drastic measures, like leaving home and letting your mother know the reasons why in a clear and controlled way, not an argument.

Thanks, I'll definitely give your ideas a shot.

You should always go to an authority with something like this. It sounds like bipolar (manic depressive) to me. There are drugs that will help with this. Again, always go to someone who can help.

Get out of there before she assaults you. This is very unhealthy and potentially dangerous. There are many places to go: family and/or friends. Tell her you won't go back until she's stable and in treatment.

If you are a minor, you can't just leave unless younotify the authorities about her behaviour. Otherwise, she keeps custody and can come and get you anytime she wants to.

While you all have some logical good ideas, I cannot just pick up and "go", even if I wanted to. I have two horses at my house, and she wouldn't take care of them, or more that she really doesn't know how. I've tried talking to her, but disgusting language often pours from her mouth denying anything or, if it's a good day, she'll give me the...."Oh no, I'm so sorry, I'll try to be better from now on."....but it always happens again. I'm afraid to go to authority of any kind, I don't want to be pulled from my home, and we don't have the money for "treatment". I also keep telling myself that it really isn't as bad as I think it is, that I am exaggerating, and that everything that is happening is my own fault. I keep thinking it's my screwing up that's setting her off, even if it's minor (like not putting a dish away), and that I won't screw up from now on and everything will be fine.....but somehow I always do something wrong.

Thank you for your ideas, if you have any more, please post them. Right now, I'm trying to talk to her, thinking that one of these times, it'll click in her and some kind of change will occur.

While you all have some logical good ideas, I cannot just pick up and "go", even if I wanted to. I have two horses at my house, and she wouldn't take care of them, or more that she really doesn't know how. I've tried talking to her, but disgusting language often pours from her mouth denying anything or, if it's a good day, she'll give me the...."Oh no, I'm so sorry, I'll try to be better from now on."....but it always happens again. I'm afraid to go to authority of any kind, I don't want to be pulled from my home, and we don't have the money for "treatment". I also keep telling myself that it really isn't as bad as I think it is, that I am exaggerating, and that everything that is happening is my own fault. I keep thinking it's my screwing up that's setting her off, even if it's minor (like not putting a dish away), and that I won't screw up from now on and everything will be fine.....but somehow I always do something wrong.

Thank you for your ideas, if you have any more, please post them. Right now, I'm trying to talk to her, thinking that one of these times, it'll click in her and some kind of change will occur.

It's not your fault. If you are in danger, you should go to the authorities. There are ways to help people of meager means afford medicine. It really does sound like bipolar, and a proper psychiatrist could diagnose it in only one or two visits.

Seriously. Reconsider either moving out temporarily or going to the authorities. This environment can lead to PTSD and many other disorders that arn't fun.

Firstly, everyone has the RIGHT to feel safe. Everyone has the RIGHT to not be abused in any way. That includes you.

Don't believe this garbage about your mom is able to "get you back." Your safty is first, and if you have to leave, there isn't much she can do about it considering your safty is higher up on a policeman's priority list than her custody matters. Also consider that your neighbours can corroborate your situation. This is a non-issue.

If you won't leave, I believe it necessary to call an authority (be it your school, police, your priest etc.). They will help your mother deal with her issues. They will probably get her into treatment free-of-charge. You didn't mention if she physically hurt you - but if she has not - then I really really really doubt they would take her away from you -they would probably try to get her to a doctor.

I realize this is an extremely difficult time for you. There are probably many questions you are contemplating - particularly in terms of 'what will happen.' It's a HUGE step to simply acknowledge that you are in an abusive household. The next step is to say "no more." Once you take control of this situation, your life will change in a very positive way.

I just thought of another idea. Go research your community resources for free-counselling in which she would qualify. Get the materials together in a nice neat package. Get a listing of things they treat that are applicable to her behaviour. Then speak to her about it. If this is about her wellbeing, she may be willing to consider it. Moreover, she's probably thought she needs something but doesn't know what to do or where to go. If she has solutions available, it makes her decision to get help much easier because it's not some black-hole she knows nothing about. On the plus side, from what you wrote, on occasion she has admitted to having a problem. One of those moments would be a good place to start.

I believe you will make the right decision for you. Just remember, it's you that must live with the aftermath the rest of your life. I wished someone gave me that advice 25-years ago. Ask yourself this: "will I be sitting on Dr. Phil's chair in 10-years if this continues?"

Buy a tranqulilizer gun.

Okay - how about your stability? What are your resources for a professional sounding board? I feel a counselor for YOU would be a good idea... someone who may be able to help you make good decisions and deal with this situation. I'm most worried about your well-being, and a professional opinion is needed here.

I really feel for you, you are in a very seroius situation.
I know long term abuse can be hell. Hell that nobody can understand but those who have been there themselves.

I once read a book about a man named Warren Buffet, his mother abused him when he was a child.
Excactly like you it was random attacks with a made up excuse. It was a fight he had no chance of winning.
There were no rules to learn, and no matter how he tried to peace her nothing worked.
During this time he developed a very deeply rooted desire to run away.
But there was a catch... he didn´t have any money.
So acquiring money was something he got very interested in, not because he wanted to be respected but simply because he wanted to run away.
Today he is the second richest man int the world, and may well become the richest.

I´m not saying anything like that will happen to you, but going to hell forces people to grow up.

Jesus Christ, tormented, crucified and buried.
Sent to hell for our sins, survived, came back from hell, went up to heaven and will from that day judge between life and death.

is it anything like this?
http://massdestraction.com/1165-Mom_gets_angry.html

Actually, hermannjens, it is very similar to that situation.

It sounds very much like your mother is ill. (I had friends in a similar situation.) If so, there is nothing you can do by reasoning with her. Nothing. She needs treatment by experts. And you need protection. Call http://www.childline.org.uk/ if you're in the UK or whatever you have that's similar. Or speak to someone at school. You sound young. When I was young I thought my teachers wouldn't listen to me, but I was wrong. If you approach them as a human being with a problem they will treat you well. Nobody will think badly of you. Get help for yourself and for her and start the processing of fixing this. You can't do it alone.

actually, my mother was a lot like that too when i was growing up. it was just her and i in one small townhouse. i was terrified of her for the longest time. i never really mentioned anything about how severe it was to anyone else...my friends all just thought my mom was kind of a bitch. i dealt with it quietly until i moved out when i left for college.

i hate to say it, but you may just end up sticking it out. however, please realize that what she's doing is abuse. i advocate talking to a school counselor or something. you don't have to reveal all the goings on at home right away...you can wait until you feel more comfortable. but do make it known that you are having "issues" with your mother that you need to talk about.

sounds like your mum just needs a good hard fuck to calm her down a bit. heres my number, call me any time. 180094622737

This pesky user has been removed for repeatedly abusing other users and being a pain in the butt. Behave or you will suffer the same fate. - The Management

The bottom line is that if you really felt you were in danger and if you truly were fending for your life, you would have left the house already. You have all these excuses about your horses and about financial woes and all that stuff, but come on already! If you want to do something about this, then FRICKIN' DO IT. If you're not going to take control of your life and get your mother the help she needs, then stop complaining and deal with it.

Why are you pissed at me?

I'm not pissed at you, I'm pissed that you're not doing jack crap to help yourself out of this situation.

So how do you know me?

Well "Gatsby" I don't think you are being very constructive either with your bitching at her. She has enough on her plate, she doesn't need anonymous assholes bitching at her whilst asking for advice.

"Vile", last time I checked, this is isitnormal.com, not teenhelp.org. My only concern - is it normal? No, most definitely not. And it's even more abnormal that, when faced with sound advice from others, she's quick to say that it won't work. I dunno, I just have a pet peeve for folks who go on about a problem of theirs and don't do anything about it even though they most definitely could if they wanted to.

I'm sure you are just as guilty. I am pretty sure it's human nature to do such things. Of course it's not normal for her mother to behave that way, but it is also not normal to show compassion towards people you clearly know, especially for caring about her "being in a bad position" and you also are not seeing her side. But it is normal for her to care about horses. Did you ever think that maybe she just wanted to see other people's opinions? Yeah, you say it's not normal, that's great. But you are being VERY unconstructive by being such a bitch about it. You could have stated it in a less rude manner. She can't just leave when she has two horses that won't get the proper care from her mother. It's called having priorities. She clearly has decided that she can deal with her mom's antics for her horses. I think here, you are the blithering idiot.

Actually, Gatsby, you hit a point there...people complaining about things when they are perfectly capable of doing something about it. Funny, it's a pet peeve of mine as well. You know what they say though, usually what we despise in other people is what we despise in ourselves. So get over it, stop talking to/of me and you won't have to deal with it.

If you did know me, you would know the situation better...but apparently you don't know me well at all. If you knew me, you would know that I was trying to do something at the time and have done something about it. It is also common sense that if you force help upon someone, then the "help" often does not help. You would also know that things HAVE gotten better since this post and it's because I DID do something about it. You would know what I did as well.

VilePlatitude was right as well, why would I leave my horses in my mothers possession? Haven’t you worked for anything in your entire life? Or are you a computer nerd, and you sit on your ass all day saying to yourself, “I wish I had opportunities” instead of MAKING the opportunities? Well, I have worked my entire life for something, and it happens to be those horses.

Well, anyway, happy holidays.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin makin trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orang juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear the pricey booze, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop and yelled my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

The above post is really retarded(Hojohto221). Anyway she must have her period really fast!! Just kidding. I would find a way to get her to a pyschologist or something before she does anything more crazier.

well...mi mom used to be kind 25%% of that...she screams alot and is really loud, ask her politly that u have a problem with her screaming...and if she just yells more then go see ur school or local phycyatrist or talk to your doctor to see if there is something emotionally wrong or phisically wrong with her...i hope that everything turns out ok!

shoot the fucking bitch!