The thought of my wife with another man excites me

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I have the same fantasy, but I don't know if she will go for it or will get mad and think I don't love her. For some reason, I just want to see her getting screwed by another man and suck his dick. Sometimes we talk about it in a roundabout way. She says she would definately do certain movie actors that she likes, but I'm not sure if she would really go through with it with someone else. I think she suspects from some comments I've made that it turns me on to know that other men want her and would probably not get jealous if it was only physical--no emotional ties. But, I'm not sure if I should push and actually go through with it.

Nothing inherently Wrong with that, or ANY *Fantasy*

Keep in mind though that in real life, life goes on After the clothes are back on and the bed is made.

I have had bfs who have wanted to see me with other guys (or girls) and once we even explored that - and a good time was had by all.

UNTIL, that is, our next fight, when he decided to throw the whole experience all up in my face.

I say Go For It - IF you both are okay with it and IF the relationship is strong. Otherwise you are just begging for disaster.

Tobra - Near Perfection In Heels

I have the same fantasy myself. In my head I never even picture the other mans face, just my wife, just her pleasure. It isn't a gay thing for me and trust me Liberty when I say that the men who are into this fantasy discuss that and give it specific thought.


Part of the turn on for me is her being able to experience that "new" feeling a fresh experience brings. The stranger aspect. She in turn has grown to appreciate the idea of me feeling the same thing with a new girl. We have become swingers and have done things with both a couple and her with a single guy while I watched/participated. We loved it and want to do it again.

The rush of the swinging life brings an exciting thrill for us that we share together.

I still struggle with the "is it normal" question though, and with the concern that somewhere down deep my wife might feel like liberty does at times.

Ok, for what it is worth, I am going to input my 3 cents. I am an extremely fit 45 year old male, that has been married for 20 years to my college sweetheart. I have been the only man she has ever been with, and I have had cuckold fantasies for at least the past 5 years. Sometimes the urge is stronger, other times it subsides. My wife is an amazing partner, has always been good to me 2-3 times / week, but is very conservative. Sex was always a difficult subject to her. We ultimately introduced Rabbit vibrators, and other toys only a few years ago. I had asked her what she though of swinging, and she was devastated. Since the vibrator was a big change for her, and now very much enjoyed, i truly feel that with consistent conditioning I could probably get her to experience sex with other men. After all who wouldn't ultimately want the thrill of a new partner. The problem is this. I am very cut and youthful, so any new partner would be just different, not necessarily a trade up. The erotic nature would be extreme because of the circumstances and I think she could genuinely be confused by her feelings. I have thought about this a great deal. We are best friends and share an amazing life. Why would I risk it. My wife tends to be compulsive through her work, family life, etc. I could visualize her being unable to eventually control herself. As hot as this may seem, the risk is tremendous and for what? She is happy, content, affectionate, etc. This could easily have her question my integrity. So, I have decided to work on making our sex life a little more edgy. Ordered a porn channel, turned her on to masturbation in front of me, etc.. Our sex life keeps improving and yet we are not damaging our relationship. The one thing I see with all these fantasy turn swinger/hotwife types, is the notion that their relationship has improved. That says a lot to me. Maybe our relationship is unusual, but after 20 years of marriage , and 8 years of dating, she is still my best friend / lover. I know my fantasies are better left as fantasies. I have nothing against swingers. In many ways, I am jealous and would love to give it a go. However, it seems to me, that allowing others into your most intimate segment of your life, takes something away that you can never get back. It is like learning that there is no such thing as santa clause when you are a child. You can't undo it.

"I love you so much Eric and we have been good for each other and we still enjoy our sex life and we built a life for ourselves." and so on. I told her that I trusted her with my life and I would never cheat on her and that it was only meant to be "Just Sex!" "Just Sex?" she said. I asked her if the idea turned her on too? She said it did but was afraid. I asked her if she would be willing to try it? She said she would think about it. She went on line and researched this sort of activity and one evening called me into the room where the computer was and said "There are a ton of sites and stories about people who have done this and more often than not, the wife becomes like a boss and stops her husband from having sex with her anymore ad only has sex with her lovers!" "Is this what you want?" I said "Not really." " It's more about you being a "Hot Wife" where you have sex with other men but still have love only for me and still have sex with me!" "Oh! That's All!" "Well, I'm ready to try it and see how you react first." I became rock hard and she stared at me and laughed a little saying "Wow! well we'll see if you feel that way afterward and I by the way, I do have a couple of rules I would like to discuss!" "Rules?" I asked. She asked "How would you feel if I was alone when I went out?" I remember actually thinking hard about that. It dawned on me that if I stayed at home and waited the excitement and anticipation would be mind boggling! It her 'That's Cool." Then she blew me away! "When I come home, what do you want to do then?"

For the OP:

I have a polyamorous relationship, I enjoy it greatly, but it took a long tme to get to true comfort level with it for both my husband and I.

The scenario you are talking about, where you watch but don't participate - or hear about but don't participate, is typically called Cucking or Cuckolding. It's a pretty common fantasy, especially for guys who enjoy the company of a woman who is very sexually expressive.

Seeing a woman in the throws of passion is obviously a huge male interest; the market for solo porn is pretty damn high. But most men are also conditioned by their porn experience to seeing women in sexual situations with men, and they know from this exposure that sometimes the desire to be in a situation that you cannot be, the fantasy and the denial of experience can be powerfully erotic. In the case of ones spouse being the recipient of another persons endeavors, this feeling can go to new heights.

It is not -easy- to break into no matter how great the relationship you are coming from is. In fact, I dare say, the better your primary relationship, the harder it may be to jump in and go crazy.

We intellectual try to protect our lovers from pain, and jealousy is a pain. It happens to be a pain you have to experience it in order to learn how to master it. I think this is one path towards mastery. When jealousy always comes with a sexually arousing story and maybe even encounter of your own that reaffirms the strength of your relationship... you really can't go wrong.

As you experience jealousy in the aftermath, which you probably will for a while and may always (because jealousy is part of what makes the situation naughty, and thereby increases the allure), if you pay attention you'll be able to make the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy reasons for jealousy. The healthy ones will stem from your own mundane or sexual needs not being met, the unhealthy ones will stem from fears that your spouse can work with you to quel. It's a massively bonding undertaking - and you have to be prepared for the work of it.


If you two cautiously and mutually go this route, there's no reason it can't strengthen your bond as long as you put your relationship FIRST. Even if you decide that it's not for you it will be an experience you "shared", and if it does work out then you have a whole new facet to add to your love lives and keep the bedroom kinky fun.

I don't think any of this is usual, but it is normal. My hubby found me out on a single incident of infidelity. What shocked me was his absence of anger or jealousy; instead, he was extemely aroused. It turned me on to see him almost salivating and trembling with lust. We had incredibly passionate lovemaking afterwards.

In the days following, he went on about wanting to watch me have sex with the guy, but I'm afraid that's not for me. During the following month, he became more and more turned on to the idea of me simply coming home to him.

Since then I've done it twice more and I am overwhelmed by how lovely it has been so far for all three of us.

I know it's mostly guys here, so I hope you don't mind my point of view.

(Contd from above)

I have read a ton of information on the Lifestyle, and many of these swinger marriages end badly years down the line. It is not the eutopia of the first years when it is all fresh and exciting, but what is left of the relationship years later. I plan on being with my wife for the next 25 years, and it seems to me, the best way to jeopardize that is play with fire. It is our minds that make us different and our ability to control our emotions. The strong can stay the course, the weak ultimately fall apart, even if it takes a while.

Eventually, and you are naive to believe, your spouse will have an opportunity that they can't pass up. A business conference, a handy man, etc. They will pleasure themselves at will, and eventually you will be less and less important until they don't remember why they are with you.

(recovering Cuckold wantabe), 5 years long as of this writing

I have had this same fantasy for about 7 years. Several years ago just for fun we went to a bar and we joked about how long it would take to have a guy approach her if she was alone. So we sat at separate tables and in about 1 minute a guy came over, she sent him away. Then another came over and she invited him to sit down. He bought her a drink and after a little while he asked her to dance. When they slow danced I thought that was really hot. That was it for that night.

Later I told her I wanted her to have sex with another guy and she thought it was really weird and thought maybe it meant I didn't love here or that I wanted to have sex with someone else.

We kept discussing it and finally convinced her I wasn't interested in having sex with anyone, I just wanted her to enjoy another guy.
She agreed to explore it a little but she made it clear no way could I watch. We put an ad on line and got a lot of replies, finally narrowed it down to one guy and she went out to dinner with him. Nothing happened that time it was just a get to know you meeting, so she planned to go out to dinner with him again. She is the type that can't just hop into bed with someone, there needs to be a little emotional connection so a little bit of a relationship needs to happen.

She went out to dinner again and after dinner they kissed for a while in the parking lot then she came home. I thought this was really hot.

Here's where you might have a problem.
From when they first met they kept communicating by email and he offered to take her out on some nice dates, no sex just for fun. Then he would call her just to talk.

She started to actually like the guy and it looked like it might go a different direction that I wanted. I didn't want her to have an ongoing relationship, just some sex fun, so she said if she couldn't have a relationship with him then she didn't want to do it.

So that was the end of it and we have discussed it more times but now she isn't interested.

Something you might want to think about are, what if she ends up really liking her other partner and what if the sex with him is really good.

Some people do split up because of things like this.

I still want her to have sex with another guy but I don't want her to get into a romantic relationship. So before you do it think about the different possibilities, are you ok if your wife ends up in an affair instead of just some fun sex? If she starts having real feelings for the other guy you then have a problem.

Its a fun game and really hot, but there are risks.

If you are going to go down this path make sure you are ready. It should not make you jelous as you seem to instigate it. It should be done in front of you and you should join in. it should make you super horny. I feel you would like to do this but in reality your not ready for it so I would stop now it could end your relationship

haaii guys once i went to a party with my boyfreind.he had many freinds there.they are very hot.so naturally i was attracted towards them and i had sex with five men along with my boyfreind.it was very nice to have sex like that.one of them pressed my boobs and licked my pussy.i still go to their house if they ask me to come in the weekends to have sex with them.its pretty enjoyable.

I was a bit shocked! The guy was in a Master Sargent's Marine Uniform! He was at least 6' 3" really well built and Black! She tweeked her eyebrow again as to say "Well?" I said "Welllll?, I don't know?" She leaned in on me and squeezed my already hard.....and she whispered in my ear "You know you are going to love it don't you baby?" She walked over to him and made small talk while I talked with a couple of babes I've met before. The game was over and people started to clear out. I saw my wife walking toward me and she gave me a kiss and said "I'll see you later!" I remember this instant flushed feeling and I began to feel nauseated. I drove home and laid down. I must have dozed. It was 1:15AM and she was not home. I noticed the phone machine flashing. I hit the button and my wife said that she would be very late but all was going well. Now I was nervous and excited at the same time. I became angry and wanted to tell her to call it off so I called her cell and I got her message. I then began to get excited again and wanted to masturbate but I knew if I did the aftermath may have me freaking out about having her do this! I dozed again from nerves! it was 2:45AM and I heard the door unlock and I was sitting on the living room floor and it was very dark and she did not see me. I could tell she had been a bit weary! She went into the bathroom and I dashed upstairs to the bedroom. I took all my clothes off. Laid there like I was asleep. When she came in, she undressed except for her panties. She snuggled up to me and started to massage me.... I became hard instantly and she whispered in my ear "I know your awake and I am going to stroke you and tell yu every single detain and when you orgasm, then I want you to clean me and clean me good because I was F@#ked harder and deeper and better than ever in my life and I swear, if you don't do this we will for sure have some issues with the relationship! She told the story as I laid there and in I was breathing so hard and after a good ten minutes, I fought it back and back and then I exploded. I did the deed and now our life is so amazing and exciting! The first three or four dates were the worst! I was insecure, angry, very jealous and still excited! Eventually your wife will make the bond between you assured and once you feel that feeling, you know it's going to be OK! Good Luck

I have the same fantasy,concerns and fears that you do.The only thing that we have done is go to a nude beach in Jamaica.My wife seen thest to guys at the bar that had dark tans.She walked up to the bar to get a drink and started a conversation,then they walked over to the hot tub and got in she motioned for me to come over and hop in to.She introduced me as her husband.She put her hands behind her head and her breasts stuck right out of the water,then she told the to guys to suck her nipples.That was about it.though,but were willing to try anything once

"Do you want to have sex with me or masturbate while I tell you the details like the stories on those sites?" "I mean some of the wives, will masturbate their husbands while telling the stories and frankly, I want you to orally clean me either way we decide!" I just stared at her and then just came right out and said "Then Forget the whole thing!" She grinned and said "OK!" Just don't ever bring this up again!" I agreed but inside I knew I was just one step away from this burning desire becoming reality! A good 6 weeks went by and we were watching a movie Called Animal Instincts. It was exactly about a Hot Wife and husband relationship! During the movie I could see my wife getting restless and antsy. I was as hard as a rock but had sweats on and she couldn't tell. I asked "Honey, what is up?" She looked at me and said "You know!" "What?" I asked. she reached over and felt my erection and said "You want this!" She squeezed harder and said "Admit it! You want this and so do I! Will you do the last rule?" "I asked, Why do you want me to do this for Gags sake?" "It's the price you pay for asking your wife of 22 good years to F@#k another man!" She tweeked her eyebrow as to say "Well?" I caved! I somehow figured I would just bail at the last moment. On Superbowl Sunday 2010, We were invited to a huge Sports Bar Private Party! 100 people! Food, Drink etc. I was not drinking very hard and either was my wife. However, my wife approached me and asked my opinion of a guy she was looking at. I grinned and asked her to show me.

Please someone ...offer advice. The same thing going on with me....Does he love me if he wants me to do this....My ex always liked to hear about me telling actual or made up stories about my previous lovers especially my ex before him. I thought it was weird but I have to admit I enjoyed it because of how much it turned him on. We didn't do this all of time. We usually had sex "just us" and no stories. Now we are broken up. It has nothing to do with that topic. We have been broken up for a month. I hope he still loves me but he says he don't but it came up by my idea to be fwb. btw we have a baby together. Anyway he told me he didn't know because he would want to take his fantasies to far. I asked what he meant and he said what if I really want you to have sex with another man (something he told me before during sex but always said he really didn't want me too and if I ever did we would be over). I asked who and he said my ex before him mainly but anyone I wanted too. Fyi...I don't want to nor plan too. I asked him would it bother him and he said no. I don't know if he means it or not. Just recently he acted very jealous when my ex before him was brought up and always did when we were together as well except for "our pretend time". My question is...do you think my ex could really want me to have sex with my ex or another man and still be in love with me? Could he want me to do that and not get upset or jealous at all? I know it was all just fantasy before. I just don't what to think. I was hoping he still loved me and would realize it soon because we never fought a lot and our only big fight was dumb and he jumped the gun and moved but even told me wanted to work it out etc..then he said he didn't but I was pushing, and begging etc. Now I'm trying to be cool and just be friends because we have a child so want to get along. Plus he's my best friend and up until that dumb argument he told me daily he loved me. He told me i made him happier than any of his exes and he wanted to marry me one day. This break up came out of the blue. So could all his feeling be gone since he actually wants me to have sex with another man or was he testing me? Idk. Help...advice!

well my fiancee and i have been discussing this for awhile. usually when we are like really drunk. but i'm sitting in our hotel room in daytona florida on vacation and there was a guy down by the pool. he's been hitting on her most of the evening and she has come back up 2 times to get more beer and wash her self for some reason. i've had this huge fantasy about another guy just having his way with her while i am waiting for her to get back. i dont know why that turns me on but i guess i just want her to get really good sex than what i give her. she is totally pleased with me and doesnt really want to do this because she is afraid i will use it against her to leave. we are getting married in sept this year. i have told her if she is feeling attracted to someone and it goes to getting sex that is ok. just use protection and tell me. but now she is with someone this second and my heart is racing and i just feel very confused and nervous about the whole situation. how should i handle her if she comes back and says she got laid and wants to have sex with me? should i wait and make her get tested or just continue like everything is normal. i am exhausted and trying to sleep but with this going on it is nearly impossible. i'm in like a dyer distress right now. any thoughts?

I let my wife have sex with other men and to be honest it really turns me on, she always sets the camcorder up too so i can see how much of a seeing to she gets, watching her have sex with another guy is amazing, she loves the feeling of another guy exploding inside her and always records it dripping out, me and my wife both agree that it has enhanced our relationship and sex life

Been married21 years. She has been doing this for 18. Its very hot

I commented earlier but once again I was so surprised when my wife finally told me she loves me very much and now the thought of having anonymous one night stands with my approval really turns her on too. Our sex life is ten times better than before and our only rules are she meets these guys when with me. She winks at me when she has found her mark. And when she gets home she has to tell me all about it. Now she wants to have a threesome so I can fulfill my lifelong fantasy even though she is not into having sex with another woman. my wife grew up a good catholic girl and was a virgin until she was 20. Now I am letting her have sexual experiences she did not have in HS or college. Wanted her to do this before she got too old to do it. She is 46 and very happy.

We did it and I loved it at the time. It was the most erotic thing I've ever seen. I watched and participated. We had a friend we did it with for a while. It was years ago, before kids. Now if I talk about it she tells me to get over it, 'it's old news'. I'd like to do it again but I know she's not interested and thats fare enough but I still get frustrated from time to time. I've thought about why guys like it and I've come to the conclusion its due to a lack of self esteem or a power trip, probably a bit of both. But any way have a go, don't let it become an obsession it will destroy you.

Back in September of 2010 a big fantasy of mine came true..
My wife and I have both talked about her being with another guy and my buddy came over, we were drinking wine and smoking hookah and it got to the point where my wife was lying on the couch, and just started playing with her by pulling her shirt down. Both my buddy and I were getting aroused, she finally let me pull her shirt down exposing her tits, he started messaging them, at this point I felt a little uneasy, but asked her if she wanted to continue and she said yes. So we then went into the bedroom, we all undressed and I f***** her from behind while she sucked his c***. I was so turned on, she kept moaning and saying how much she wanted his c***. All my uneasyness went out the window, it was the hottest moment in my life. We still talk about it, and she says that it will happen again another day, she's also worried about diseases. My next step I would love to have her do is us going to a club, separating, and watching her from afar, as he guy buys her drinks, asks her to dance, and watching her grind on him feeling his buldge, watching her slide her hand down his pants, and making out with him. I have no jealousy with her sucking another guys cock as I have witnessed it before, would love to take it to the next step and watch her get fucked, but am worried on how I might feel. If she does, the guy must be bigger and better then me

My wife has let a guy she works with fuck her for the last 19 months usually they fuck each Friday I don't have a problem whih it however she had to promis that he would be the only other guy to fuck her I have a feeling that one day she did let another guy fuck her but I dont have any proof ,It has not made any difference to our marrage as far as every one else we are just another normal couple

My husband always talks about me sleeping with another guy. I was so surprised to find out that this is his fantasy. Most guys want to hear about or see their girl with another girl. He says that he knows that I can handle a guy with a bigger d***! He likes me to talk about screwing my ex-boyfriend while we are having sex or while he masturbates. He has been talking about it for years. He wants me to sleep with another guy and I don't want to at all. It really pisses me off when he talks about it. I do not think it is normal and it is somewhat gay. Nothing against gay people. Everytime he talks about it I just want to break up with him for good. We have been together for a really long time and have two kids together.... It is just crazy! Why would a guy want to see their girl with another guy? I just cannot understand it. I wouldn't want to see him with another girl... He should feel lucky that he has a girl that likes sex. I don't know where this fantasy comes from. Is it because I am more experienced than him?

Perfectly normal feelings. I've had the same fantasies all my adult life. My opened up to my ex wife about it and to my surprise she was fine with it. We started by her telling me all about her ex lovers, what they did etc, then eventually we had a 3 some with my best mate, then we got into swinging for a while. We both enjoyed it very much and I can assure you our divorce came quite a few years after our last swinging meet and had nothing at all to do with sex.

It shouldn't hurt your marriage if you are honest with each other and have some common sense ground rules you both agree on. My wife and I did it for three years and then she said that was enough. I still get hot remembering her in action.

from what it looks like, u will end up being a swinger. Everybody who has replied started out with those thoughts and now is a swinging couple, which is totally cool. I think the excitement comes from jealousy. And jealousy comes from the "posessiveness" and "ownership" part of that crazy thing called love. The thought thatt "YOU weren't there" is a painful feeling. My situation is jealousy over my girlfriends past. No guy can ever be sure when he hears this, but she told me I took her virginity. She's done slutty thing with some of my friends so I'm doubtful. But one night she came over to my house with a condom and said she wanted me to have her. So we did it and its was prettty hot, and she did this in hopes that id be with her At first I felt like, whatever this is free sex from a girl I don't even like, but then I fell for her. Andeverything she's ever done with any guy in the past suddenly devestated my days. The thoughts of her topless on a Strangers bed kiled me. The thought of her making out with a stranger at a concert gave me the biggest lump of hot jealousy in my throat and stomach. I've had sex with 9 girls and 5 of them were virgins and have never cared about any of their pasts. SO MY POINT IS, I've recently moved in with her and we have a lot of sex. And just a few days ago, before I was about to come I said "admit u have done it with other guys" at first she said no then she budged and it was the hottest thing ever. all that doubt she was a virgin turned into truth. Jealousy is the thought that YOU weren't there, that some other guys dick was in your girl, and she liked it. Willingly, she spread her legs to 1 guy, or a thousand.. The thought that she rode someone just like she rides u is a turn on. But in my opinion, and please no one get offended, she's the WRONG GIRL for u. I garuantee that if my chick hadn't done such slutty things, I wouldn't even imagine her with others, let alone make her say she has "screwed other guys just like this." I don't want to be a swinger when I get older, and honestly I see no future with this girl. The whole jealousy thing turns me off unless we're in the middle of sex. But I tell her to tell me that other guys have sucked her nipples and came in her just like I did, cos she asked them to. I have no respect for girls who give themselves up, even make out, with strangers. So my girl is a slut to me. If I actually loved her and trusted her and wanted to be all she needed, I wouldn't picture her with other guys. So in my opinion, to all swingers, all husbands, and boyfriends just like me, have ur fun with this chick (the one ur with) and pass her on to the next guy, cos she's not the right girl for u. A wedding ring (obviously) doesn't make her yours. Is it normal? 99% of the worlds population could be born with 3 arms, and that 1% would call them weird. Who cares if its normal? We only live once. Why not??

I think there is nothing wrong in fantasizing. I too fantasize my wife with some young man or teenager. The thought itself arouses me although I know I would never agree to it practically.
Guys thats what fantasy is all about!!!

I love to fanticise about my partner with another man all the time.Just the other night i had to call a paramedic for back pain,when he arived i could tell my partner liked him,i was admited to hospital that night ,when amberlance had taken me,I wonder how long the paramedic stayed,did she make him a cuppa? of course you can wonder where my imagination whent then.the next day i asked her when she last masterbated,she would not normaly tell me ,she say and shes rite that it is personal.I would of loved for her to have said the night that paramedic was here.The thought that she thinks about other men when she masterbates would turn me on also.Do any one els feel that way?

listen to me carefully , this feelings should stop buddy , i know you love your wife and she loves you back , but is it fair they use her ? i mean why do you enjoy it ? what is the point sharing ur wife , the love of ur life , the one that should belong to u only ! u both should respect the word love , it means loyalty , trust , by the way sharing her with other men , they enjoy every bit of her , and u are enjoying them doing your wife ? does that make anysense ? thats like very weird , i recommend u to visit a shrink , u and everyone her e, ladies and gentelmen , this is ( love ) , i recommend u guys to look up for what love means too !

this totaly crazy,dont do it ever,your marriage will destroy,you will gonna hate your wife in the future,you will enjoy in the begining but in the end it will be a disatser,

I also would love to see my wife being ****** by another man. I have talked to her about it, she says the ideal turns her on , but she want do it.I am not sure how to get her to agree.

i think its normal to just think it , but for her to actually do it at your request ....... That woulda got he police called in my crib hell no i dont want my girl to fucking some dude

That's great

@Ms.Confused, come see me! I've had this fantasy for sometime too...to have sex with another woman, preferably married, single is ok, but must be stable. I'm looking for some spice to the sex which has grown stagnant in our marriage. I'd love to get together with you!

This most often stems from a traumatic experience of seeing or discovering that an intimate partner has been unfaithful.
It is a failsafe reaction to trauma, where one embraces the jealousy with projection. In short it is a liberation of classic sociological double standards of gender.
Other times it is a reaction to seeing or discovering ones mother in the act of sex with someone other than ones father. This can lead to a desire to have sex with ones mother in hopes to out perform the lover and restore fidelity with your father, or yourself.

I've had guys ask me things about my sexual past. I didn't know it affected some men like this.

First of all, I want to validate all of you by saying I have read over half of the comments and you are all great, underestimated, capable ppl with deep intelligence and superior emotional depth.
Having said that, however, I must pose the question to each of you:
Why does it feel good when you hurt?
The root of this neurosis derives from a low self-esteem which most of you already knew about yourselves. Deeper still is why we lack self confidence, and how do we fix it?
The short answer is this: most of you will likely agree that you have felt "unworthy" all through life.
I see that many of you have such similar feelings but I can assure you it is NOT a healthy mentality. This is a life of psychological struggle to understand why we secretly fear our inadequecy.
I can say with crystal clarity -SOMEONE DID THIS TO YOU.
We are not born this way. Only through failed developmental stages do we settle into these dysfunctional mindsets.
But they are certainly not healthy or normal as you already know.
The act of sex is (in our society) seen as sacred between 1 man and 1 woman.
The desire to allow that person to engage in sexual acts with someone else is (in most cases) a method we use to perpetuate our own self-loathing.
We feel unworthy and so wish to humble ourselves while simultaneously elevating our mate by admitting we are inadequate to fulfill her needs.
Regardless of the outcome of any particular event, the long term effect is BAAAAADDDDD!
I would urge all of you to study ERICKSON'S 5 STAGES OF EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT TO SEE IF THERE IS ANYTHING THERE THAT APPLIES AND HELPS YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHO YOU ARE. MOST OF YOU HAVE SUFERED ADDITIONAL LIFE-LONG DEPRESSION AND POSSIBLY SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!
If that doesn't apply to you then skip out of here and retain nothing.
For the rest of you, please seek introspection before you destroy yourselves and your future relationships.
As proof I submit that although a woman may consider doing literally ANYTHING for the man she loves, she most likely will never generate these ideas herself. This is because she sees you as the master and hero of her life. Once you offer her sexually to another man you no longer have that power. It is the ALPHA MALE self confidence that attracts her in the beginning that will allow her to seek your replacement in the end.

My wife & I have an extremely committed & wonderful marriage of nearly 22 years. We were virgins on our wedding day & have always been 100% faithful. My wife is the most in-love & devoted spouse a man could dream of & I've never had so much as a hint of jealousy. I am very much heterosexual & love sex with her. As our marriage has progressed through the years, I found myself fantasizing about men seeing how fun & wonderful my wife is. She has always been very open minded & a real butterfly. As time went on, we took naughty photos as a fun thing to do & to preserve a snapshot in time. I started fantasizing about a mutual friend of ours taking photos of her nude. Despite being very proper, the fantasy started to work in her mind too & she asked me to show nude photos to the friend & ask if he'd take some of her like that. Eventually it happened. It was fun & still I felt no jealousy. Meanwhile more time passed... Ten years... & the fantasy in my mind became increasingly strong for her to have actual sex with another man so long as it was a safe environment & she had no regrets. She completely rejected the idea at first despite posing nude for another man. More time passed. She became more comfortable with the idea but we both realized it would likely stay a fantasy indefinitely. Then as fate would have it, the stars all lined up. She was in the process of resigning from her job & telling people goodbye in Jan 2012, a particular coworker who had always enjoyed talking small-talk with her, divulged that he had always had a crush & in a desperate but private moment, he crossed the line & kissed her! They exchanged emails & my wife realized that our fantasy could become a reality! They met privately & discussed a possible "friends with benefits relationship & laid-out ground rules. Ten days later they got together at our house while I was at work. She kept me in the loop & assured me she would call it off if I had the slightest reservation. We both realized this was an opportunity to live life with no regrets or "what-ifs". Despite both of our extremely conservative backgrounds, they did the ultimate taboo & had sex together!

Cont... From above:
He gave her very enjoyable cunnilingus & they tried at least four different positions & she had two orgasms with no clitoral stimulation needed. Apparently his penis was a bit longer & somewhat thicker but more significant was his ability to angle his thrusting so as to make for an extremely intense G-spot orgasm. Something she had never before experienced with me. They have since done-it one more time & the intensity was still far greater than anything we've had despite an incredibly mutually satisfying sex life. I felt an unusual & odd feeling knowing another man had experienced this with my sweet wife but I also felt incredibly aroused & like we were on the precipice for breaking out of a sex life that had become very routine. She had no regrets & didn't feel dirty or used or regretful. Her love for me had only grown in knowing we were fully honest & trusting throughout this new turn of events. She felt a bit sad at my strange dissonant feeling that tugged between almost jealousy & arousal & trust. Ultimately, we talked long & hard & felt like it was something that had brought a great positive to our marriage. On her own, she purchased a book entitled "101 Nights of Grrreat Sex". We have been doing our assignments & have had some of the best sex of our entire marriage!!! This very taboo act of extramarital sex done in a completely open manner between us had caused us to break out of a sexual rut in a way that we may never had otherwise! Neither of us has any regrets. I can see though how this could be extremely dangerous & most marriages likely don't have the right dynamic to handle it. My dear wife has assured me she would stop & never do it again if that is what I wanted. However, knowing that it was the most erotic & mind blowing sex she has ever had (and is done with no commitment or strings attached) & that she would love to keep doing it with him one or two times a month, I really want this too! It is incredibly arousing knowing that my sweet wife has this alter-ego where she temporarily thinks of herself as porn-star & loses herself in passionate mind-blowing sex with a former coworker of 15 years. Despite her sweet, innocent appearance, she craves this new forbidden sex with a very well-hung man as often as she can get it & it has awakened her sexually to such a degree it occupies her thoughts all throughout the day. Because of this, we have never had so much wonderful sex together in our entire marriage!!! I never really thought I'd be in this situation but I'm glad I am & I feel incredibly luck to have such a wonderful, loving spouse that is so very trustworthy, honest, & loyal. I look forward to her having many more sexual encounters with this friend of hers & I look forward to hearing all about them & enjoying the follow-up sex that comes after her sexual encounters!!!

hi, cant tell my name. but i am a bit plump and my wife is good looking and has a medium figure. i dremt that my wife and another man much elder to us had an affair and slept with each other. i enjoyed the scene and fantacized it while masturbating the next day.
this became a passion for me. and then i asked my wife if she could actually do have sex with that elder man. she refused. later while i was fucking her that night i asked her to refer to me as that man. she made noises while i was stroking her and took that man"s name. she enjoyed it and later agreed to sleep with that man. that man was fond of my wife and agreed to fuck her. later he took her in a hotel that night and made love to my wife. My wife told me all the love making and sexual intercourse scenes with that man as to how he removed her clothes and kissed her breasts and then put his penis in her vagina. later they made love at many places, like the farmhouse, car, hotel rooms.
this is happening since one year. now me and my wife wants that my wife be pregnant with that man only so that the love making as sex continues. i am ready to give that child my name. but he refuses to make her pregnant and only wants sex.

ah, last night me my wife and that elder man finally had a threesome. we were on a vacation and had kept our girl, in fact the girl from that man and my wife with her sister. that man took my wife to his room which was adjacent as usual. next morning when i went to their room the door was open. i went inside. nobody saw me. i saw that my wife was naked and that man was smooching her. his naked body was pressing my wife's breasts. he had held her tight with one hand and his other hand was between my wife's legs. his fingers were exploring her vaginal hole inside. after a long smooch that man came on top of my wife and spread her legs.he went in her till his penis's full length. my wife's pubic hair intermingled with his. he stroked her very hard and with a final push he ejaculated. i went to my room and called my wife on her cell. she picked up and asked me to come to their room. i went their. they were still naked in bed. they were covered with a blanket. i went and sat on the sofa. we chatted. afterwards my wife got up from the bed and came and sat next to me. she was naked. i could see that man's sperms leaking from my wife's vagina as they has had sexual intercourse just some time ago. we talked about a three some and my wife said that we could do it that night. we agreed. that night both of us that man and i were naked. we together removed my wife's clothes and made her naked. we smooched her every where. then came the stroking part. that man slept naked on bed first. my wife went on top of him and put his penis in her vagina. i came from back . my wife was naked on his body. i could see some gap in her vagina which was filled with his penis. i tried to put my penis. my penis rubbed that man's penis. i pushed his penis down and created a gap in her vagina. then i put my penis in my wife. we stroked her and ejaculated our sperms in my wife's vagina.

I face same problem with my hubby. he mostly force me to have a sex with other man during our sex .. but i am not sure whether it is his just fantasy or he want me to do in real..He never talk me other time except while we r in sex. I also agreed with him whenever he whisper in my ear during our sex time .. it make him so arouse n wild. even i feel so nice ...is it his just fantasy or he reall want me to do it?

I wanted to see my wife another man. It started by being turned on by using house hold objects as sex toys on my wife. She enjoyed it, and with my added excitment I could realy fuck her. One day she asked why I used things on her, and after a short while, not knowing how she would take it,O told her it was like watching another guy fucking her. I was supprised that she thought the idea was great as long as she enjoyed being satisfide I could continue to think about men fucking her whilst I used a whine bottle on her. She would even talk to me about it, and began calling the objects by a mans name. She would see some guy in the street and say to me, how would you like to see him fucking me doggy style. She is comming round to trying it, by a little flashing, as she is now turned on herself by it. Some day,some day.

I have a dilemma, I am I think a heterosexual guy, I love my gf, we have a higher than normal sex life and both extremely horny,two years ago we started swinging, my gf loves women and men, I love women and the filthiest the sex the better.
Recently we had a cpl of party invites where my girl was playing with me and two other men and I loved it, loved seeing her being really slutty ant dirty, the thing is I loved seeing her being cum on and now love the idea more and more of fucking her after anther guy/guys have cum in her, fully understand issues of STD's so would ensure they were clean first, but is it normal to want this? Does it mean I'm bi? I don't fancy guys but like he idea of them with my girl.....

I have a small dick, but my wife loves me . She asked me for a spicial gift for her birthday so i was like what ? She said i don't know , i was how about a big dick ? She asked me this ... You know i love you more than any thing in the world so i said yes , she was please give me a dick . I said ok but she said nonono a real one , i got so horny after that, i asked really ? She said that for one time she want to feel that she get controled and fucked by a big guy big dick . So she starts looking for some body till she found a guy work around our house . On her birthday she looked amaaaaaazing . She asked me please u doing me a big favor can u please please wait outside the room, i want u to hear him slapping my ass and fuck me the way u couldn't . So waited for loke 45 min then she walked out and said thx baby that was the best gift ever i really needed it. But now she asking me lately if she can do it with him and his 2 friends . And she will never ask me anything again, i don't know .... I still love her and i feel that she really need this because my dick is small.

I love to fantasise about my wife fucking other guys, when we have sex I ask her to tell me about her fucking another man. I love her telling me that it's passionate and loving and he cums inside her and she hopes it makes her pregnant and that she loves them, I get her to tell me he's bigger then me. Now for us we are very loving to each other she is my life my everything I always feel bad as I know she isn't to keen on doing it, but I personally don't think I'd ever like her to fuck anyone I've thought about it but I know it will ruin us it's not worth it.

turns me on too. im gonna tell her later this weekend.

Hi My wife is on Holiday with her mother and the kids. I am always telling my wife how much it turns me on with the thought of her having sex with other people. She is very pretty and is a bit over weight but has gorgeous tits. Anyway she asked me to write here a sexy story which I do for her occasionally which involves her having sex with others. I try and make the stories as close to real as possible when I set the scene so that she could believe that it could actually happen. I found a swinging club at the resort she is at on the internet. I sent her the story as a series of sms messages as for some reason she could not receive anything else. Anyway as soon as I got to the bit that there was a swinging club there she text back saying she wants to go there and hopefully have a good time. She is planning to go on Saturday. I am so exited about it I can't stop masturbating and even when I've relieved myself I want to do it again every 90 minutes. It's such a turn on to think what my wife will be doing on Saturday night. For me it is a bit like empathy and to me it is like me having the experience myself in a way as I know how much she gets turned on by these ideas. I trust her totally and can't wait till after the event.

As I read this post my wife is in the next room sleeping with her new "boy toy". I could hear her and him having repeated sex during the night, wow how exciting it is. Today is the threesome day and then she hand him will have one more night before returning to our lives Monday.

hi my wife and i have tried this and when we discussed it afterwards she said she loved it but after a few more times i asked her would she be with a woman aswell she said no and that she dont want to carry on with the guy we were haveing fun with ,said she felt guilty .i personaly think theres nothing wrong with it but deffinately not for everyone

Well like most of you I have had the same thoughts of my wife having sex with another man. Alittle back ground info. I had an operation a few months ago and am unable to have any sex due to pain. I could tell my wife of 26 years was needed sexual relief because I could see it in her eyes. So one day I gave her a hall pass for he to go and have some fun. I thought of her getting fucked by another man really did turn me on. I knew for sure that I could handle all if any emotions that I might feel. To my disbielief he went and did it. She had sex with another man and the look on her face when she came home says it all. She was floating walking as if walking on air. I loved that look and was so happy for her and we fall asleep in each others arms. And yes her telling me the entire event turned me on big time. Now to the bad parts. They text all the time using the words like sweartheart, lover, my love, xoxox. She also posted on face book the she just the the best evening ever. Well I have to admit that thoes words are feelings type words not just sex words and the best night ever hurt deep down. So to finish this off if you are wondering if you should let your wife have sex with another man just say NO FUCKING WAY because you will regret it latter.

I also want to add that now that this box has been opened and the fact that I lover her so so much how coud I say no for the next time they want to hook up. She was so happy that there is no way that I can take away this new toy.

I believe when a man has this fantasy it comes from a place of extreme love- such a love for the beauty of her that you must see her share such beauty- and to see her from the eyes of a new lover. Our dysfunctional society teaches that love is possession and it is finite-that what is given to one is taken from another- but there is a deeper primal part of us, remnants of our roots where we developed traits of cooperation and empathy- that surfaces with this desire.

My husband loves me to fuck others- he loves the notion that they are experiencing the physical-spiritual-creative-beauty of mine for the first time, and being able to imagine their arousal from my touch fills him with longing and desire and love. And when I return to him I transfer the energy and eroticism I experienced- to my husband.

We are learning that love is exponential and that experiencing each other through others eyes enhances our experience and understanding of the other.

Why jealous??? She loves you and making fun with anothers. A great combination.

In this case I feel pleasure and my wife also likes that it is a natural condition would love to see my wife to have sex with another man that excites me a lot

I read all of the posts and I felt exactly the same emotions as many of you have felt or feeling right now.
Let me tell you that once you get over the anxiety of jealousy - and you will over time - the experience will be absolutely fantastic. And if you are worried about ruining your relationship - don't. From my experience it will not only elevate the sensual/sexual side to a new level, but will make the relationship much stronger. This could be part due to the fact, that when you engage in such a fantasy, it will require building a very strong trust relationship between you and your wife/gf. This trust, in turn, will act like a glue in all other aspects of your life.

In my case it contributed to a totally new level of sex life, made me a much more sensual person in bed and changed my relations to her outside of the bedroom. I say so many more nice words to her now, then before all of this started. BTW, we are together for 20 years now.

My wife is a tall, slim, gorgeous beauty with dark long hair. She has first met another guy about 12 years ago, after many of my delicate suggestions. I had to leave on a work assignment to another city and was only coming home about twice per month. My suggestions and her loneliness probably played part in it, and she met the guy who was hitting on her for some time. They did it when I was away and she recorded it with a hidden cam. My emotions that first time were ranging from total jealousy to extreme erotic arousal. I felt happy one time and lonely/almost betrayed another. But it was like a drug. I liked it so much. Have never before experienced such sexual intensity and arousal.

She did it several more times with this guy over a number of months. Then she stopped for a few years - work, kids, busy life. With my suggestions she went back to the lifestyle. Put adds on singles sites etc. She started meeting guys and the more it was happening the more my emotions were shifting away from jealousy to sensuality, arousal, love for her.

We are a so much better couple now. We used to argue and be nasty to each other a lot more often before this started happening. Now, we barely argue ever. I am more relaxed and I feel that my love to her is on par or better than when me met for the first time.

She is seeing a guy now, that will go through the whole night with her. Last time she had three orgasms during the night, and then they did it again twice in the morning. This guy is incredible. He is so nice and sensual to her and makes her go to new levels with sexual arousal. She brings these new levels back home, where it really makes a difference in our sex life.

BTW, she recorded video only twice. She prefers to have privacy with a guy. Makes her more at ease and enjoy the whole thing way better. However, she agreed to use a little voice recorder if she can in a given situation. Let me tell you. The sound recordings are even better than the video. My mind is discovering the levels of sensuality and emotions I never new existed in me. Probably the imagination adds to it, since I don't see the video.
She would not feel comfortable with a threesome or if I was watching life. I don't know if I would not feel awkward just siting there and watching. Instead, I prefer to let my imagination go loose when she is doing it and then listen to the recording afterwards.

Best of luck to all of you.

Look guys, stop stop reading these type of chat pages now!
Tonight while you are between your wife's legs eating her pussy- say "honey I'm really embarrassed to share this fantasy"
In the year 2013 she will not longer will be shocked, but will say something like " what is is with you guys" And will name other wives in the lifestyle. No longer will you face a "shocked wife".
Then you will be rewarded with the most intense sex life ever. This is the new gold standard for a married couple. You as the husband will be rewarded with a wife returning home used from her date, and your dreams are now a reality. You will be able to help your wife dress for her date, shave her legs, shop with her, eat her pussy while she is on the phone with her boyfriend and enjoy every other wife sharing thought you had. This is now the way it is and should be, husband stays home and waits for wife to return home used. Don't wait another day- tell her tonight and life will begin! It doesn't matter if your cock is 3 inched or 9 inches- its the thought of her climbing into bed at 2AM and her saying I'm such a slut!

Find a sex club way out of town. Go to another city far away. Start slowly. Some clubs cater to new people just like you and your wife. Strangers watch through one way glass as other couples make love. Then, you get to watch other couples fuck. Just knowing other men are staring at your wifes asshole, her wet pussy, those nice tits, will drive you wild...and her. I did this once and my girl went wild! She loved exposing herself to total strangers. If you like that, the next step is same room sex. You and another couple rent a room with two beds and dim lights. Knowing we'd never see these people again, plus a lot of vodka, and we went for it. Wow. Talk about hot! They watched us fuck, then we watched them. We were all DYING to swap, but no one made the move. Some couples solve this problem by going into separate rooms. That I WOULD have done.

Back from our trip south still did not happen . While down there I was pleased when she asked if i would want to watch . i paused and said no but if you want .i am excited that she is willing to talk about this . she just dose not understand why i want her to have sex with a stranger . I wonder if she thinks i want her to flirt so then i could after but not so PLEAS COMMENT

my wife was excited when one day i just said to her, "you know what? people aren't naturally monogamous. this is all so unnatural. unnecessary. marriage is convenience but it doesnt have to be so strict."

she was like "hell, yes".

so i started suggesting all kinds of things - swinging, polyamory, even cuckolding - and she was very excited by all these things.

but when i took it a step further, put an ad on the internet and someone actually responded with a cellphone number, she backed out. she says she just doesn't want it, and she's not able to articulate why.

wierd. i am sure, whatever i said definitely struck a chord in her. usually when we're having sex there's plenty left in her when i'm done. i just dont see why she should stop just because im done - she deserves more because she can do more. and i am sure it struck a chord in her, she wasnt just agreeing because i said so.

but i dont know what happened after that :-(

i also want to do same thing ,i want my wife will have sex with another guy n share exp with me

Why not. It is only a physical thing, demanded by our psyche. I do believe everyone flirts with this notion, some more than others, but if it can be pulled off what's the harm???