Are You Normal?

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their fault
59% Normal
39 Comments

Is it normal that whenever I hear those stories about the girls meeting creepy old men online like on MySpace and then going to a hotel with them and getting raped I immediately think "stupid girl"? I mean, meeting some stranger for the first time at a hotel is just asking to get raped. Am I a horrible person for having these thoughts?

Btw, I am a rape victim, and I acknowledge that mine was partially my fault too, so don't go off on how I don't know what I'm talking about.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (39)
Anonymous
No one forced her to reply to his IM's or emails and then to follow through and meet with the guy, so of course she's at fault too.
Anonymous
There is an old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." which covers this. Basically if you don't know what you are doing then its hard to blame you, but it is just dumb to do the same thing and expect a different result.
If you can at least know that someone has *heard* of that kind of thing happening then its still dumb of them to expect anything differnt to happen to them.

Basically, yes I agree its normal to see those things as dumb, and the only reason I can see for not thinking that is normal is that basically girls aren't held responsible for anything these days.
yes of course she is at fault! i know she didn't exactly ask to get raped but what do these sorts of girls expect when meeting an absolute stranger in a private place, i mean if you're going to meet someone you met online, you should at least do it somewhere public so you can find out what sort of person you are really dealing with. i mean, seriously why else would someone insist on meeting in private unless they were hoping o take things further? some girls just need to use their heads a bit. i dont agree or condone rape in any form but you can't say that you were oblivious to the threat given the circumstances
Anonymous
Fountain put it much better than I did.
These responses are appalling. These girls have been manipulated and victimized. They've probably had very sheltered lives and are naive and honestly don't know any better. And no, I've never been raped, just so you don't think that's where this point of view is coming from. Blaming the victim is irresponsible. And for the person who posted the original story: no, it was NOT your fault, no matter the circumstances. Is it my fault my car was broken into a few months ago? Well, I shouldn't have parked it in front of my house.
There is no rational argument that puts the girl at fault unless you believe saying "but society says it is!!!" is rational (its not). The facts are simple--an older man is seducing a younger girl, manipulating her and trying to abuse her. Even if the girl is willing up to a point, going and meeting him, going to his house even, it is the man's job to not rape this girl.

Your argument is equivalent to saying that someone who walks into a gunshop is at fault for getting shot.

The fact that submitter is a rape victim explains in part why she feels the girl is at fault--most victims put the blame on themselves. Thats why my sister slit her wrists before hanging herself.

It is NEVER the victims fault, it is the person who takes his penis out of his pants and forces it into a girl. This thread makes me sick (Save for the last commenter).
Anonymous
It is definitely not the girl's fault. I agree with the last two comments--any blame rests with the man who used the girl's naivety to convince her to meet him.

Of course, it would be best for the girl to have an open enough relationship with her parents for them to warn her about this type of situation (and possibly monitor what she is doing on the internet), so it could also be the parents' fault, although this should not be applied to every case.
Obviously, it't the girl's fault for going to him. I have no sympathy for these people.
Anonymous
By saying the girls are at fault you are saying that the men who knowingly seduced and forced themselves on teenage girls are the victims. Sure the girls had a choice not to go to the hotel, but the men also had a choice to not rape a teenage girl. Rape is the fault of the rapist and no one else. The reason these girls go to hotel rooms like this is because these sick f*cks are experts at lying and manipulating. If these men said, "come to my hotel so I can rape you," then the girls would be responsible for what happened, but then we wouldn't be talking about rape.
Anonymous
Rape is always the rapist's fault. You can second guess yourself all you like, but ultimately the rapist's actions are a terrible crime, a crime which he is fully capable of not committing. Never tell yourself that the fact that you were raped is even the slightest bit your fault.

And just for the record, I'm a guy, and any male who blames the victim of a rape is absolutely disgusting.
I agree.
Look, I've been raped twice, and sometimes it IS a girl's fault. No, you shouldn't have to not do your normal, everyday activities and worry about getting raped, if it happens, it is not your fault, but if you are a young girl who meets someone old online and then goes to their house to meet them, and they are aware of what usually happens in that type of situation, then they are at fault! If you are so stupid to put yourself in a stupid situation like that, then yes, it is partly your fault! Personal responsibility, people! This culture of nobody taking personal responsibility for their actions anymore is ridiculous!
All rape victims are to fully blame..... that's right, they are 100% the cause of rapings...... if there were no victims there'd be no rapings.... it's totally fucking logical...... hope that helps.......
That girl had slightly delayed breathing, tshe was askin' for it.
@: EyeAy
so your saying if some 5 year old girl is jumped and raped in the back of a van when she was walking home from school shes to blame...maybe you should rethink what you said

as for people who get raped in hotels 90% of them want to be raped for attention or to sue the guy or w/e and the other 10% become emotionally involved and trust the guy
Well, that's ONE thought that comes to mind. But "That's terrible" should be in there somewhere too.

Be extremely carfull who you meet online.
Hee hee, very fun
no girl asked to be raped you dumb fucking retards!! if she was asking to be raped then it wouldnt be rape now would it?? yeah what some girls do are fucking stupid? but that doesnt mean they are at to blame for getting raped! the person who raped the girl is at blame. fucking dumb fucks!!!
well, if you run with sharp knives...

wearing skirts so short that when u bend your pussy is on display & tube tops that u r always adjusting cos they r too tight...

Yes, the knife was too sharp. Yes the dirty man was all horney. BUT...
It REALLY depends on the circumstances.
People who stand in the middle of the street get hit by cars.
But so do people who stay on the sidewalks and look both ways.
yes i agree some girls do that. BUT it does not give a male the right to rape her.
thats like saying 'yes i agree some pple run with knives. BUT it is still partly the knifes fault for being too sharp if they get cut.'
how can you compare a knife to a girl?? thats just stupid. so is this what you are saying, if a girl dresses to make her self look good then that gives someone the right to rape her? and she was at blame? and the person who raped her was not at fault because its ok to rape a girl if she wears a short skirt?? is that what you are meaning shaka??
no, thats not what i am saying. 'if a girl dresses to make her self look good,' there is looking good & then there is looking like a whore. what i am saying is, big knives are dangerous(like really horney guys) & Running with said knives(skirts so short that when u bend your pussy is on display & tube tops that u r always adjusting cos they r too tight) u can kind of expect things to go bad - both parties are at fault. but in the case where a big sharp knife was on the table & fell off & cut you while u wher safely sitting at a table,(nice girl gets cornered in an office or ally/date rape) its definitly the 'knife' at fault.
bad analogy. Knives are inatimate objects. Men, boys, rapists... they are people. They have choices for their actions. They have responsability.
ok so what u r saying is if some girl walked into a prisonyard full of rapists & procceded to bootie dance, anything that happened to her would not be her fault???? ok.

-.-"
read what I said before...
ok i see. u are exonerated. lol!
I agree with you thinking "Stupid girl" because it IS stupid to go off and meet a total stranger in a private place. If you must meet the person do it publically, have a back up plan and even bring someone along with you! If the person you are meeting has a problem with that, then just don't go.


Rape is NOT the victims fault-It's the rapists. No matter what a girl does, how she dresses or how she acts she is not at fault for the rape!

Girls don't ask to be raped. If they were asking, it would be consenual intercourse-not rape!

Grrr...I am just annoyed with the whole raped topic as someone at my school got raped this morning..
Your fuckin retard learn to read. Where does he mention suprise rape anywhere? He talks about girls being chatted over MSN or AIM and going to meet somebody in the back of a hotel at night? How fuckin retarded do you have to be to do that? I agree with the topic starter 100%.

Seriously, if you have never seen someone in your life, why would you even risk meeting them somewhere private? It like jumping into a volcano you know its got some risk and you knwo you can avoid it, but you jump anyway. If you KNOW you can avoid getting raped by meeting somehwere else, then why woudln't you?

And yes, I have to agree that it is the rapist's fault also has they know it's illegal and shouldn't be doing it in the first place.
But c'mon, why would you meet someone in a hotel when you KNOW you can meet in a public place?
^^^This was to the guy that made the camparison to 5 year olds getting jumped.
NO, actually your right i think the same 2
Any man who rapes ANYBODY is at fault. Having said this, it can also be the parent's, school's, government's, or anyone's fault for not teaching the person about the dangers of being raped. If a person KNOWS this, and KNOWINGLY puts herself in a dangerous situation, they are partly to blame as well.
Both the girl and the rapist are at fault.

The girl decided to ignore the warnings given to her about meeting strangers and knows that she is taking a risk

The rapist...well... rapes her, and that is a crime.
Rape isn't about a man being "horny" it's about having power over the victim. Regardless of how a woman dresses she has no blame in being raped, but she has to realise her dressing that way increased her odds of becoming a victim. For those people on the page getting outraged at some of the opinions here, wake up and realise the web is full of "trolls" who say outrageous things for no other reason to get a rise out of people like you. They just think it's ammusing that they can exert this little bit of controll over you by making ridiculous statements over something you believe passionately in. Also some of the statements are sarcastic 'tongue in cheek' so relax and don't feed the trolls and they'll go away.
Anyone with a grain of common sense, and a north american or european moral upbringing realises no woman deserves to be raped, and no type of dress she wears makes it OK for her to be 'taken' unwillingly. On the other hand those from some middle eastern and african countries will see this totally differently. In those countries woman have little to no rights, and by their barbaric moral values are seen to have contributed to, or even incited their own rape by nothing more than in some cases showing their faces, or even a bare ankle beneath the hem of a garment. Obviously corrupt, outdated thinking supported by religious texts written hundreds of years ago. Unfortunately you'll not likely ever change their opinion, but fortunate on the other hand their beliefs won't help them in a north american court of law.
When it comes to fault I'd like to point out there are two different ways to look at fault, and the woman bears no responsability in one an may bear some responsability in the other. In the first sense, in the act of rape, if the woman says no, and doesn't want to have sex she is not at fault if she is taken against her will no matter what she wore and how trampy it is.
In the second sense, she may have increased her own odds of being assaulted by chosing provocative dress, and going someplace remote and far from immediate help with a stranger. When we walk out our front door everyday there are certain odds of being a victim of a crime, or being hit by a car, or even winning a lottery. You can either increase or decrease your odds by doing different things. If you walk around with your eyes closed you increase your odds of getting hit by a car, if you buy 5 lotto tickets instead of 1 you increase your odds of winning by 5 times. If you dress sleazily, and go alone to the room of a man you don't know you have increased your odds of meeting the crime of rape as well as murder. You still don't deserve to be raped but you have to accept some blame for increasing your chances of being assaulted through your foolish behaviour.
Well said, zigzzagz.
Yes, it is largely their fault. There is no shame in thinking that they are stupid.
it goes both ways, if u talk to someone on the internet n then af=gree to meet then at a hotel... i dont give a sh*t who put a dick in who, the girl is an idiot! I was raped and guess what... i was my fault... he forced his way in but i could have punched him, i could have called the cops, i could have started yelling n a neighbor would have heard me, yet i just let it happen( what an idiot, it was my fault) no im not saying this because all rape victims think that its just common sense, if u don't like something u tell them to stop. now in the same scenario if he came in n punched me across the face n said if u make noise im going to kill u, not my fault. so for going to a hotel, letting this dude do that... ur fault live with it there are banners and warning everywhere i was taught this every year in elementry school cause guess what DON'T GET INTO CARS WITH STRANGERS, DON'T MEET STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET, DON'T TAKE CANDY FROM A STRANGER... ITS ELEMENTRY... DON'T DO IT.