To lose yourself

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First of all, at times like these you can't not have anything to do, because if you don't, well, you won't. I've been you. Take it from someone who's been in your shoes, your first action, even before looking for professional help, is getting engaged in a daily activity that you have to do, I would suggest starting with school, even if it sounds like the last thing you want to do. It will organize you externally and allow for you to start organizing internally. This is just a start, not a solution, not at all, but I remember this type of change being what made the big difference in my life and my depressions. It could be work, I only suggested school because if you fail to show up it's not as bad. It could also be anything else, like volunteer work, as long as you're commited to it. It doesn't matter if you don't feel like it. Do it. The rest follows.