unfortunate family history

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5 Comments

Most likely you are right. You've written the letter. The ball's in her court, but don't hold your breath. She may be working through related problems of her own.
The best you can do is to try to live a productive life from now on. It might make you feel better to buy a substantial life insurance policy and name her and/or her children as beneficiary.

I can't really give you advice because for 4 years, between the time I was 9-13, my older brother molested me. Because of this, I am emotionally damaged & although I've handled it a lot better than most people have, I'll never be the same. You don't move on from this, you don't get over this, you don't accept this. I've never been close w/ my brother, this isn't the only reason, but when we are around each other, it is very uncomfortable for both of us. He has been having emotional problems his entire life & does drugs as well & is constantly drunk. My question for you, if you know the answer, is why did you molest your sister? I don't want to put you down in any way, I just want to know. My mom believes that people who molest people have been molested themselves. My grandfather was a child molestor, apparently of both females & males, & my mom believes he molested my brother, which may be a reason for my brother molesting me. I don't know what you're going through, but I do know what your sister is going through & I can say that even though she may be upset w/ you & hurt by you & that hurt will never go away, she'll always love you because you're her brother. Just keep your head up & hope that your sister comes around.

I dont know excactly why I did it, I think there was just an urge that I did not deal with properly. I grew up in a big family (9 kids) I guess I have been really hard on myself about this my whole life instead of focusing on healing. I have tried to run from it and not talk about it and it literally has caused me to be institutionalized the guilt and shame of it. I would give anything to go back and undue it but I guess I just have to accept that I cant and move on from here. I dont know though maybe talking about it isnt the right thing to do either as it may be just too uncomfortable for my sister.

What urge would that be??? I don't mean this to sound harsh, but I have to be brutally blunt. You are not the victim in this situation, your sister is. You shouldn't talk about it w/ your sister because it's over now & because you're right, it'd be too uncomfortable for your sister. My brother hasn't brought it up in the last 5 years & I guarantee he probably never will for the same reason. Yes, you can't undue it, but you can ask God for His forgiveness towards you because that's all you really can do. How old was your sister then, btw, & how old is she now?

I would stay away from her. Speaking from someone who's experienced this kind of thing before.