Are You Normal?
Curious how others might perceive your situation? Submit your story today and find out what others think...
What is wrong with me
hi there
I have for a while now realised that something isent quite right with me.
I am a self harmer and i have been for quite a long time though i understand this is supposed to be linked with anxiaty and/or depression i was always possotive that i had neither one of these prolems as i was never really deppressed, i was always unhappy but unhappy with a big genuin smile on my face, as far as i was concerned i was just a cutter.
However now as the years have gone on i am beginning to realise that i am actually really very very depressed, i cut at least once a week, i'm preocupied with thoughts of suicide and death, i hate myself alot and skip work because of how i feel, there are days when i cannot even leave my room because im so misrable and tired and cry at everything and anything, life seems increadably bleak to me.
And yet this severe depression never seems to last more then a month at the most and then i'm ok again. I'm happy,extatic, on top of the world, i feel like i'v been recharging in my depression because im so hyper and feel like i could take on the world, i shop, bake untill 2am,i get bad insomnia, can't eat at all, make life changing decicions that i cannot possibly achieve and don't really want to achieve. But at the same time i'm still preoccupied with my own demise and suicide and death and hatred for myself but i'm so happy it just dosent make sense.
i'v had this problem for a few years now and its getting sooooo tiering, i'm scared of going to my doctor because i'm terifide he'll just wave my prolems away as uninportant and tell me im to young to be depressed or to have manic depression (i'm 21) and i'll be left in the same boat as i was before when i'm really at my wits end.
I have for a while now realised that something isent quite right with me.
I am a self harmer and i have been for quite a long time though i understand this is supposed to be linked with anxiaty and/or depression i was always possotive that i had neither one of these prolems as i was never really deppressed, i was always unhappy but unhappy with a big genuin smile on my face, as far as i was concerned i was just a cutter.
However now as the years have gone on i am beginning to realise that i am actually really very very depressed, i cut at least once a week, i'm preocupied with thoughts of suicide and death, i hate myself alot and skip work because of how i feel, there are days when i cannot even leave my room because im so misrable and tired and cry at everything and anything, life seems increadably bleak to me.
And yet this severe depression never seems to last more then a month at the most and then i'm ok again. I'm happy,extatic, on top of the world, i feel like i'v been recharging in my depression because im so hyper and feel like i could take on the world, i shop, bake untill 2am,i get bad insomnia, can't eat at all, make life changing decicions that i cannot possibly achieve and don't really want to achieve. But at the same time i'm still preoccupied with my own demise and suicide and death and hatred for myself but i'm so happy it just dosent make sense.
i'v had this problem for a few years now and its getting sooooo tiering, i'm scared of going to my doctor because i'm terifide he'll just wave my prolems away as uninportant and tell me im to young to be depressed or to have manic depression (i'm 21) and i'll be left in the same boat as i was before when i'm really at my wits end.
Do you think it's normal?
Does this story fit one of these flags? If so, click it!
[Best Of] [Funny] [Interesting] [Weird][Lame] [Off Topic] [Innapropriate]
Check out these other IIN stories:
serioulsy docter=good choice.
http://www.mcmanweb.com/article-93.htm
Because your symptoms sound quite severe, I doubt that any competent and/or reputable doctor would dismiss your problems as being "unimportant", and you certainly are not too young to be experiencing a mood disorder. PLEASE begin the process of treating this illness soon. You will need time to find a suitable practitioner, book an appointment, establish a diagnosis, and begin a course of treatment. The sooner you begin to address your urgent needs, the better. I hope that you write back to let us know how things go for you -- best of luck.
and yeah my spelling was pretty bad wasen't it (i think i put that down to writeing it at 4.03am, my spelling always sucks then) =^.^=
I don't feel like its a serious as bipolar as i'v never had a fullblown manic episode (thank god)and i'm not psychotic.
Thanks so much JanIAm,:) that article was really informative it was like i was reading about myself and i'v never even heard of cyclothymia. I will definitley be going to see my doctor very soon.
Thankyou