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What's an erect uncircumsized penis look like?

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I'm 24, and did not realize I was supposed to peel back the foreskin and clean it. I know this sounds unbelievable, and is in fact irresponsible and sick, but how do you know unless someone tells you? My parents never showed me how to wash myself as a kid. I tried to peel it back a couple days ago, and could not even see the entire head. Blowjobs are like a punishment to me, and obviously I haven't tried to have sex. The farthest I have ever seen my foreskin back is after I ejaculate, and even then I don't see the whole head, and half of the part I can see appears to be red. Any advice on what to do? Can I clean it when it is erect, or does it have to be flaccid. I am still sore from a failed attempt to peel it back 2 days ago.
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just slowley try to pull back every day
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