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Why can't I find a boyfriend?
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I know a lot of people ask this, and all my friends say that I've just been unlucky, but I guess I would just like a broader consensus.
I'm 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I just don't understand what is wrong. I am not the best looking girl, but I'm pretty above average, I'm short, but not that short. I'm a little heavy for my height, but I'm toned and I exercise a lot. I am intelligent, I'm confident and I work/study hard, but I'm still lots of fun and extroverted. I admit I can be aggressive, but only about my academics and career. I don't understand what's wrong because I am a very social person, I join clubs and try out new things wherever I go, it's not like I don't like guys or something and I am open to dating and all. But guys never seem to be interested in me or ask me out.
I don't understand what's going on here because I'm not a clingy or shy person but I'm also not overly aggressive with guys. Can you provide me with some advice? Are guys intimidated by the fact that I'm an intelligent, motivated and ambitious woman? Am I too fat? Or do I just not notice when guys are interested?
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Comments (18)
Kick some guys ass...and then force him to date you!
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im 29/male/still virgin. i have approached thousands of woman from the age of 18. still no date, no number, no kiss. im gonna turn 30 next month. but im still trying. the right one will come, so to speak ;). stay golden ponyboy
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you are my hero...
I love you... in a heterosexual way.
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I feel so young, losing it at 14 ;P
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have you considered making the first move? beacuse most guys are quite shy in trying to pick up a women, because we are not all testosterone filled airhead, sometimes we just need a little help to get the ball rolling, and i'm speaking from my experiences.
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Aww. I'll be your boyfriend baby :)

You seem to be a perfectly normal girl.

Why do you want a boyfriend so bad? I suggest that you continue your studies and become something first. All you'll get out of dating right now is a slow down in your education. Take the time to figure out what you want in life then work fom there.

But if you still want him, then I think you should start making the first move and see where it takes you. Don't fall for those men that just want to take you to their rooms at the end of the night. If he starts the conversation first, he is most likely interested. Also, if he asks for your number, that's a blatantly obvious h is interested.

Bottom line is, some people are born with the art of flirting and some are not. Google search some signs that he is interested and go from there.

I hope you find him. It's a cold world out there and not too many good men are left. But choose wisely and you might get a prince.

I hope this helps you out.

Side note: from how you describe yourself, I think your a really nice girl too hang out with. You seem to be fun and ambitious. Don't worry you'll find him soon.
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@: Messiah
This is not a dating site, however, it'll be a funny story on "how we've met" at social gatherings :p
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Ollieo
I think your friends are right - luck. But you could tip the scales in your favour by taking the initiative with someone you like.
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Dude, you are going to be just fine! You sound great! Don't let some nasty dude sweet talk you into anything! Stay true and a great guy will come along!
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Hiya! I used to wonder the exact same thing, you know :) and from what you say I think we share similar traits. My closest friends and exes all told me that upon first meeting me I scared the hell out of them, so I figured, being the type of go-getter that I am, I should just go and fetch a bf for myself. Though you do need patience and you should stop chasing the butterfly so to speak. Rather let the butterfly come to you.

Write down a list of traits/qualities you'd want in your ideal guy then put it somewhere safe. The list will stay in your subconscious even if you can't remember it off hand. These people will be attracted into your life. I find writing things down gives everything shape and focus in life :). Focus on other things and just wait, someone will walk into your life without you expecting it. A few months down the line you may find the list again and be pleasantly surprised at how many criteria he meets.

The men who may walk into your life may not meet all the criteria you wrote on your list, but they will have some or most of the traits on there. You may find that what you thought previously you'd fall for, in reality, is not true and your list may change and develop.

I'm not saying this will guarantee you a bf, but this worked for me. I found that since I knew what I wanted I was able to attract the right sort of people into my life. Everyone can try this, its not just for girls.

To this day I've had a few amazing relationships and none of those guys ever asked me out first. I simply observed, analysed and flirted the relationships into existence (that sounds so scandalous, but really I just was my witty self and everything worked out fine). While the relationships ended, they were still valuable life lessons and I'm grateful for them. I realise that many men probably won't have the balls to ask me out anyway, so I'll wait happily for the day when one guy finally does. Someone with the intellect, confidence and wit to match my own.

Good luck girl. Peace.
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one of my friends is absolutely gorgeous, and she's funny and smart, but never had a boyfriend ever. and she doesn't understand why she doesn't.

i think she scares guys. like guys are like intimidated by her beauty. i think you might have something like that.
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I suggest that you take the initiative (wich sometimes isn't such a good idea)but you can still try. Maybe it's just faith and faith dosn't want you taken just yet. Don't worry, by the way that you describe yourself you will find a great guy, if it dsnt work out for you , just let time handle it.
Besides; you could finish your studies and then worry about that, maybe you will have more luck when your less stressed (if it is the case)..
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You sound exactly like me. Exactly. Ive nezer been able to get a boyfriend either. Idk why tho....
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ThadB
It's the 21st century, girls can ask guys out. I'm pretty sure if you do that it'll work out fine.
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Hey I'm a 18year old male & I'm shy I know the guys have to make the 1st move idk I just can't cause some girls are b**** & start saying like he'll no or dream on rude comments so some guys are scared to a make the mAke the move cause they think that will happen (get rejected) my advise to u is flirt with some guys u think would be a great bf get to know them or ask him if he wants to study at ur place gl :)
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question1522
boys r just scared to ask u out coz ur probably to geourges or them
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thats like me . im in highschool tho and ive had a couple boyfriends before. im tall and everyone says im pretty and guys hit on me alot but never ask me out !!!
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Well, you could be too fat. 92% of guys don't find fat chicks attractive. There's also the matter of how you dress. + your personality.

If you have a male friend, ask him. Don't take "I don't know" for an answer. Good luck.
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