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Why can't I stand kids?
9 Comments

I am a stepmom trying to help out a step daughter with 2 kids, ages, 2 & 6. Step daughter and I get along great. I just never have liked taking care of kids, and find them very annoying as they always get in my way. Love the grandchildren in my own way, but have never liked taking care of kids, period. Any kids. Was blessed with an amazing son 21 yrs. ago, but this one was an absolute angel, and still is. Don't like little kids, don't like taking care of them. Doing the best I can, but feel like my life has been invaded. I'm 53 yrs. old now, and the last thing I want to do is take care of kids!!! They are mostly a pain in the you know what to me, and they stress me out completely. To put up with them, I drink. More than I should. Maybe I am evil, but I just can't stand kids. Don't get the joy other people do....what's wrong with me??? Just doesn't come natural for me. have to work real hard at seeming like the good nani.....oh, yeah, by the way, they live with us.
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Comments (9)
coulterb (31915)
2009-11-28 02:54:01
u jut dont like kids ur probably like me im patient think kids just get in the way and bother ppl i feel bad for u that u have to dea with them just tell who ever it is no tell them u dont like kids that uv done it b 4 and now ur sick of it if the dont under stand u fu*k um they dont give a sh*t about u if they cant accept thatand if they live with u d advise u ither move out or make them
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samue1 (34532)
2010-01-25 05:37:32
If your ever alone with them, scare the living shit out of them, so they will behave around you. Children can't understand the concept of respect, but they can understand fear, bring fear into their hearts and you will have obedience and order in your home.
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Ollieo (19003)
2010-01-25 05:51:30
Try to be a little less harsh on yourself about it. I don't think the issue is that you do not like kids. You've raised a child. You are a supportive step-mom. And you love the grand children. So stop beating yourself up.

It is entirely another thing to be automatically expected to be a caregiver of young children. That has nothing to do with loving & liking children generally. That is about having A LOT OF WORK imposed!!!

If they want a baby sitter or daycare, they should pay for it. Because it is a lot of work.

You need to decide for yourself what you are comfortable doing occasionally and where to draw the line. Because if they think you are there to provide free care, as is the case now, you will be in for more than you can stand, and will resent these kids.

So stand up for yourself and quit judging yourself badly if you just say, "no thank you, I am not available." Know and respect your limits. Children are a handful, and you've had your turn.
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Ollieo (19003)
2010-01-25 06:00:27
@: Ollieo
PS - To clarify: You've had your turn raising children. It is now your turn to enjoy them, and hand them right back.
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Ollieo (19003)
2010-01-25 20:19:18
EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE: BE CAREFUL OF "BUDTHE WISE" - HE IS A FIRST CLASS CREEP, WOMAN ABUSER, RACIST AND IGNORAMUS ... AND PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OF HIS CRAPPY AND ABUSIVE ADVICE. PLEASE!!!
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sadali (30462)
2010-01-28 01:20:01
@: coulterb
Thank you so much for your words of support. I really was feeling so horrible, but as time has gone on (almost 8 mths now), I have realized I am only being used and abused. I do love my grandkids in my own way, but I've already lived that life bringin up a son, and my hubby and I were ready to have a life again. Things have gotten really weird....my step daughter is being "civil" only because she has no where else to go right now. But we can't wait till we can have our home back !!! Thanks for your comments.....
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sadali (30462)
2010-01-28 01:25:53
@: Ollieo
Thank you, thank you. I have actually drawn some lines, and let her know I am happy to help in an emergency, or even on occasion, but just don't want the entire responsibility of taking the kids on full time, which is what she expected. She has started a job (finally...although its a temp), and after only 3 days, I can see how unhappy she is because it's not easy. She has found child care for now, but now is going out of her way to keep the kids away from us. Vindictive, to say the least. My heart goes out to the kids, because even after only 3 days of working, already, my hubby and I are seeing how short tempered she is with them. Breaks my heart to see them suffering from the issues she's made herself. Thanks so much for your support.
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sadali (30462)
2010-01-28 01:28:14
@: Ollieo
Yes....I would love to be able to enjoy them. But my step daughter is now being very vindictive, and trying to keep them away from us altogether. Sad, as my grandson and I finally found a common bond, and I know he loves me. Somehow, I will find a way to deal with this. Thanks again for your advice.
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sadali (30462)
2010-02-02 01:16:34
Thank you all for your continued supportive comments. It's really comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. My step daughter continues to try to hurt us by keeping the kids from us as much as possible. It's as if her interpretation is that if we didn't want to assume full-time child care, then she isn't going to let us have any "grand-parent" time with them. For a smart girl, she's acting very stupid. I would have been her greatest ally. Thanks again for all your comments.
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