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Why do people just take whoever is "there"?
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I've never understood why people limit themselves so much in relationship prospects.

Why only consider people who are right there? Why not look around more? Why limit yourself to dating people who you live with, work with or go to school with? Especially if these people aren't what you *really* want? Especially if they have serious problems like legal issues, are abusive, don't have the qualities you're looking for, etc?

I understand developing feelings for people that you're around a lot however I don't understand not even trying to look for more ideal people outside of these limited groups that people tend to stay in. I can't understand overlooking serious faults and lowering standards and just accepting a person because they're in close proximity to your home, work or school.

I also don't get why people will often fight over one man or woman! There's 7 billion other ones and people will fight over the same one generally not for any reason other than the fact that this person happens to be "there" close by, there's not usually anything exceptional about the person, it's just infatuation and convenience. Love triangles and shit, it confuses me! Why do groups of people seem to recycle partners within the group?

IIN to be confused by this behavior?
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Comments (25)
There isn't *really* 7 billion people to choose from, though, is there? Firstly, if you're straight, that number instantly splits by about a half. Also, people obviously aren't going to be interested in every age group. Children and the elderly are probably taken away from that number (unless you're an elderly person looking for someone, etc.), or basically anyone who isn't in your age range (so there goes tonnes of more people, although how many depends on how picky your tastes are:P). You've also got the language difference. If you don't speak the same language, then it's going to be hard to build a relationship. If you live in different countries, it might be extremely difficult to meet. And many people are already taken (married, etc., and therefore not willing to pursue a relationship with someone else).

Oh, and of course there's the whole issue of whether you're actually attracted to them:P. Anyway, I think you get my point! You don't instantly become attracted to someone purely because they're "there". I would have thought several people "fighting" over the same person would probably be due to them all being attracted to that person. I think there are loads of people who we can find ourselves attracted to, and having differences with that person doesn't necessarily mean that there's someone better out there. Perhaps if someone's desperate, then they'd go with someone who just happens to be there. But I don't think it's always the case.

Maybe people should consider being more open with who they'd consider dating, but it's not as simple as choosing anyone in the world. There *are* limitations, and realistically, there's just no way they can make themself available to everyone.
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howaminotmyself
Yay for logic!
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Knowledge. Keep giving it out.
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Oh stuff it! The point was there's so many people in the world yet people choose from a handful.
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Penalty! There will be no stuffing of said "it" on this post!
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But...but...but... I didn't say "ist" or "ism", gimme a break man!
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You just said it! You said both "ist" and "ism" right now! PENALTY, PENALTY!
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You realize its kind of difficult to date people that are out of your way? Its hard to date people from lets say another town or another country. It also has to do with the people around you. If you happen to live in a area mostly populated by young children and couples who had them you are stuck. Since the parents are taken and the children are too young to talk to. So we have to take what we can get. Why most people socialize at school or work. Going to a random bar runs the risk of getting some serial killer and drugs in your drink. So not a lot of options to pick from. A lot of people meet up at bars though.
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I am interested in every age group.
Each have there own attributes and knowledge base.
Very interesting.
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People are impatient and just want someone to be there for them, be nice, and affirm them. It doesn't matter who they are or the rest of what they do, or if they have much/anything in common, or the fact that they know they would never marry this person. They just need someone / anyone to be there, and they usually take the first person to come along and be nice to them.
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I don't understand why I should have felt the need to look around more if I was satisfied with what I had. With that mentality, you'd never find anyone that is good enough. You'd find good and want to find better. You'd find better and you'd want to find better than that and it's not like people are like cars where you can just keep upgrading until you get the best and baddest model.

Eventually, you're going to either have to say "I am satisfied with this person" or say "I'll never be satisfied with anyone" and contrary to what a lot of people (namely, the SINGLE people on this website) think, you don't have to go through damned near every name in the phone book to meet someone that definitely satisfies you, beyond a doubt.

If you're thinking in terms of "settling" or "second best", like it's some competition and people should be competing to be good enough for you, then don't plan on ever settling and please don't get married. These kind of people skew the divorce statistics and make marriage and commitment look like a joke.
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Not meaning to sound misogynistic, but what I don't get is when a woman starts going out with a man then begins to change everything about him which attracted her to him in the first place.

But that's a different kettle of fish.
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Sog
Because there's a lot more risk and effort involved in trying to date a complete stranger instead of someone you kinda know.
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Cause we're not all models and super models.
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Yep, it's kinda sad but people do that cause their lonely and desperate I believe.
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Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
Because they usually have cigarettes.
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Lol, I do agree I'm focused on one guy in particular, because he's fucking perfect to me.
Although there is other people out there, it's your choice. And I choose Mr. Perfect.
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I hate this fact too. I'm into inter-racial dating but have no girls of other races in my immediate friend/relative circles. I'm not good at approaching girls I don't know and assume they hate that anyway.
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It is kind of sad how people will go for just anyone. In my whole life I've only felt love once, and I wouldn't want to be with someone I don't have that feeling for.
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Because there are bags for putting over peoples heads.
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Because they just want regular easy sex and women just want money.
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howaminotmyself
People do this with most of their relationships. Look at your circle of friends and see how wide you cast that net.
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I've always wondered the same thing.
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Because relationships aren't just about sex.
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