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Why do people want to have children?
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I cannot for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to have children. I have asked everyone I know to give me some good reasons to have children and not one person has given me a reasonable answer. Anyone?
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Comments (97)
I find it ironic that I, being deeply spiritual and religious myself, find myself disagreeing with other religious people. Honestly, don't you people have a brain? The fact that it is said in the Bible to be "fruitful and multiply" was WRITTEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO WHEN THE WORLD WASN'T DESTROYING ITS OWN RESOURCES, DAMAGING LAND, AND SURPASSING THE ENVIRONMENT'S CARRYING CAPACITY WITH OVER 6 BILLION PEOPLE HERE. Just earlier I was reading in my Biology textbook (I'm studying for a national competition) how it doesn't matter how much family planning and technological advances we make (to surpass population-limiting factors, use resources more efficiently, produce/distribute more food, damage the environment less, etc.), if the population continues growing WE ARE STILL GOING TO KILL OUR OWN FREAKING RACE because we'll run out of resources and destroy all around us. I wonder if God isn't just looking at you guys wondering when the heck will you wake up and realize what is happening around you and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Gizzie, I agree with you, it's so needless to create more children when the world is so overpopulated now. People are starving already because we have too many people--even if the economy were perfect, everyone was a vegetarian, and food were distributed evenly in all countries, it will get to a point where even that will not be enough to feed everyone.

To you child-crazed people, just because you have a "natural biological instinct" to procreate DOES NOT MEAN that you have to freaking follow it! We're civilized and have high mental functions, don't we? The human race is not going to end in a long time if we procreate less--in fact, it'd be SO much better for the entire world if the population went CONSIDERABLY down. If you want more children then please be responsible about your wish and be altruistic enough to adopt an already-existing child and give him a better life. If you choose to have your own child you're basically ignoring all the other abandoned children and are, in fact, feeding your own selfish desire to just have your bloodline moving along. It does have its own altruistic aspect because of the myriad of things you must sacrifice in order to raise a child, but it is still very selfish at the end of the day--even if it's for "someone else," I bet you wouldn't do it if it didn't make you happy.

I repeat, it may be biological, but that does not mean it's necessary anymore. This is 2010. Not 500 BC.
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just my opinion, but the whole reasoning of wanting to create life sounds self-centered and full of oneself. the reasoning of wanting to feel loved sounds needy. the whole wanting to pass on your knowledge also sounds full of oneself and unnecessary as learning for ourselves is a part of life. I dunno most of the time just seems to me like people are full of themselves and want little mini-thems running around. The whole reasoning of wanting to give a child the best life possible is also overrated as from observing the world around me a parent can attempt to teach their kid this or that or provide for them whatever and the child can still turn out the opposite of what the parent was hoping for b/c, well, we're all born with different personalities and the reality of life is that people, kids, parents, whatever, aren't always going to behave how you'd like them too.
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I have never understood why so many people are obsessed with the idea of having children. I mean there are people out there who feel like they will just die if they don't have a kid...

I mean WHY?? Why on Earth would you WANT to be a parent? There are SO MANY awesome things you can do in your life other than breed kids and spend all your time and money raising them.

You do realize that a kid is going to grow up and become a teenager right? Once they turn 12 years old, they are going to HATE you. They are going to get an attitude with you and want to hang out with their crazy friends and get pregnant and do drugs, etc.

Being a parent is SO MUCH WORK. Good Christ, I mean you are really getting yourself into so much headache if you have a kid.

On the other hand, if you do what my wife and I do you can live on Easy Street. You see, my wife and I both do not want to be parents. It's not that we hate kids, I actually think kids are ok, kind of funny, etc but I DO NOT want to be a parent. Instead my wife and I both earn about $32,000 a year = $64,000 a year. With that money we can do ANYTHING we want. We can travel, buy nice things, go out to eat, etc. We do not struggle at all.

Now, if we had kids, we would be VERY POOR. It takes about $50,000 a year to raise a kid right. By the time you pay for all the medical needs, savings, etc you are going to spend a fortune.

I think most people are just to stupid to realize what they are getting into with having a child.
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I agree, there is no benefit to having children. Not to society, you could use that time to contribute to the world, instead of to one, most likely unimportant individual. I mean spend 18 years, catering to some little ingrate, feeding it, clothing it, worrying about it, and by the time the damned thing leaves, well you are to old to do much, and have given up most of your saving for it. Then it throws away all you've done, and starts the damned miserable cycle all over again. No thank you, I'm going to devote my life to something bigger than a teething little crap machine.
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Dear Initial Poster,

Let me ask you a question. Did you realize that about nine tenth of the people that have children are totally clueless why they ended up having children? So how are the rest of us, those of us that actually sit down and think before they act, going to shed any light on the primitive behaviors of others?

I just wish people would drop the 'maternal instinct' explanation. Having a maternal instinct is as much as an explanation for reproduction as being hungry is for becoming obese. Most adults rationalize before they act. When it comes to babies, most women render themselves as clueless, irrational and incompetent incubators. Their brains are affected by their maternal instincts, it seems? Well, rather not. Let's take a few steps back from this mass hysteria about motherhood/ parenthood and children, shall we?

- Many contemporary psychological, biological and neurological theories argue against the existence of true instincts in humans. This rationalization seems to be on par with the dramatically inclining birth rates. Coincidence?

- Approximately 40%-60% of the women that enjoyed tertiary education (college or university) in Western countries are never having children. Childfree-ness is a hype in many large Japanese cities. Apparently a significant amount of women decide to remain childless at an early age.

- Many people, fathers and mothers, regret having children. They will not regret the unique bond or relationship with their child [assuming this bond and relationship was established at all] but they do regret all other implications of their choice (poor sex life, permanent body change, debts or financial stress, fatigue and so on).

Unfortunately having children is still correlated with female identity. I have never met another woman who has been able to rationally argue her reasons to become a mother. This is a very sad business indeed.

People are irrational, irresponsible and weak when it comes to all selfish needs and matters. Children are not a means to an end; we've all heard that one before. Unfortunately many parents have children to mend their own broken reality such as failing relationships, youth trauma or depression. Children are not created in their own best interests, as they are not even born yet. There is no such thing as a hypothetical child. What is a hypothetical individual to you? Can you reason with it or ask it about its needs and opinions? You cannot. Therefore, to procreate is an act of pure selfishness. Procreation is about parents, not about children. People should be willing to accept the inflated Disney spirit in their feeble pursuit of happiness before they justify their actions and judge others who refuse to bring a new life into this world. Few parents I've met are bold enough to question their beliefs, fortunately my own parents were not among them.

An interesting related article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10786279
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I am so with you on this one. I do not understand if you work full time why in the HOLY HELL you would want a kid????? I don't hate them, but...give me a break. Most lie, eat you out of house and home, manipulate you, want, want, and want more. I would never give my kid a cell phone for nothing. Text, text, text....no matter where you are they are either on the phone (which when they get done with it, put it down wherever they are, draining the battery) leaving you with the "I needed the phone, I got what I needed so if the battery is dead or you cannot find it when it rings? They shrug their shoulder as if to say...OH WELL. They either have their hand out, head in the refrigerator, on the phone scamming how to screw their parents/grand parents out of something....No there is NO joy, I tried finding some. Ok I lied I did find joy, when I seen her leave and the screen door did not hit her in the azz. My daughter has 4 kids, all of them are screwed up.
If I am ever reincarnated (if this is a possibility) I am marching myself right to the Dr.s office, and have the plumbing removed.....You think gee "I can't wait for them to get married and move out"...OH HELL NO it does not end there, that is a whole new level of pain just getting started.
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#1 Most people have kids for no real reason that they are aware of. Either they have them because they were too lazy to use contraception, or they have them because they never considered that NOT having them was a socially acceptable option. In short, they can't help having kids.

#2 Those who have kids intentionally for a known reason, have stupid reasons. They have kids when there is a lull in their marriage, or they have them to please their parents, or to feel important and accepted when their best friends have been breeding.

#3 What I believe is a very small fraction of parents do have a certain profoundly deep love which bears fruit. They can look at each other and just know with certainty that they want to raise kids together. It's an emotional and physical and spiritual instinct, an intuition which can only be described or observed but not explained.

Of all the couples I have known, perhaps only three or four might be in category #3 above. I have never felt the instinct myself, but I have observed it and know that it exists. My parents did have it.

You won't get a good answer to your question because:

A: There are very few people in category #3 above, and...

B: Those who are in category #3 above, and who have a real and profound reason to have kids, will not be able to articulate that reason to someone else who does not share the instinct.
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@: Reggie
My mom told me she desperately wanted kids because she wanted her own little babies to raise, love on, and protect and watch them to grown and blossom. My grandmother told me since my mom was a kid all she wanted was kids. My mother truly wanted kids. I can't go into more detail because I'm not her BUT I can just tell her love for us kids was truly deep and intense. ^_^ She basically died inside when I was born with febrile seizures. :( She truly loves us and always worries about us.
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I can't figure that out either. I think it's that sexual drive that has been a part of humanity since the sex was the main form of reproduction. I'm not necessarily against reproduction if it is for the betterment of the species. I just wish humans could evolve beyond the need for sex and sexual reproduction. A humanoid with cybernetic implants, quite similar to the Borg from Star Trek, would be ideal. We could just shove kids into maturation chambers for awhile, and they come out as full-grown adults, ready for programming.
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gizzie56
@: Fred
Thanks Fred for that favor you did me.
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i dont think anyone wants to... they just get drunk and either dont have the cash for an abortion... or cant get an abortion, or dont know if they are pregnant until it's too late.
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At this point, I don't want to HAVE children so much as I want to give them away. I have the youngest advertised on Ebay right now, if anyone would care to have the link.
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Paedophiles may want children...
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I am an Evamgleical christian who does NOT want children.

Over the past few years I have been on a few dating site and find that sadly sooooo many young ladies want kids. I don't get it.

In the past I have talked to a couple of females who were okay with the idea of not having kids.

It would just be nice to have a young lady who had a posstive view on life and wanted to be HAPPY without kids.

Concerning sleeping beauty87's comments. It's it odd that people RUSH into having kids and then send the next 18-21+ year waiting for the day they get their kid(s) out the door and can be CHILD-FREE again?
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yup, at the moment, i just don't know why people have kids, one of the jobs i work puts me in an environment where i c individuals with way too many kids. way too many kids b/c there children are running around just doing whatever, and for me, i just think why have a kid or kids if you can't even keep an eye on them.
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There is no logical reason to have children in today's society. Women have the desire imbedded into them ever hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. This is due to the fact that in primitive times, people were dieing from natural causes (being eaten, sickness, injuries, etc) about as fast as females could produce new offspring. The worlds population has multiplied exponentially in the past 1000 years. A mere blip on the scale of the evolutionary progress. It is because of the industrial revolution that populations have multiplied exponentially, due to "civilization". It will take another hundred thousand years for natue to imbed into women their genetic structure that having children is a detriment to themselves, and the human race, which will be far too late. The world will be so overpopulated that nature will take care of the excess human population by plagues, and starvation.
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Orochimaru
idk, children are a hassel...
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babyangel2580
well this story was interesting until i realized how many freaking comments there were.

adopt a child! i was adopted, if i wasn't my bio parents would have ended my life before i was to be 5..

give life. love a child!

Angel
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I agree 100% about adoption! I was also adopted at a day and a half. Though I'll admit I wish my mom would have aborted me like she planned :-P Anyway, people really need to stop breeding and start saving the kids that are abandoned. And I don't mean adopting from Cambodia or some crap, there are tons of abandoned kids in our own countries that need love and attention, and I think it's a HUGE slap in the face to kids of your own country when you adopt from another country (but that's besides the point here, heh)... I don't think I could handle even adopting kids, but if I ever decided I did want a child, I would adopt rather than crap one out. Though I highly doubt that would happen...I'm much too angry and bitter a person, as well as mentally unstable, to handle a kid, adopted or not.
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Frequently I heard ppl asking their single or married friends "Why dont you (want to) have a child?" but rarely heard ppl asking a why question to a parent like "why do you want to be a parent?"

It is interesting that many ppl who believe having a kid is necessary in their life but reject to use their brains thinking WHY. Why do people want to have children? Because they Should have children. That's begging the question, LOL.
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@: menkaka
if somebody asked me why i didnt want a child, we would be talking all day long. Because the reasons wouldnt QUIT coming out of my mouth.

There's several GOOD reasons NOT to have one.....But there's not one good reason TO have one.
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@: menkaka
People want to use their uterus... especially the females... it determines their femininity....

for males, they just want sex and frequently... that's why they get married....

Then comes the raising of the coveted child.... which is another thing... society actually WANTS you to do this... cuz society is child driven...
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I started a big rant and then realised that I was just going to put my conclusion...

The short version is for the number of children that are born in the world, compare that to the number that were planned.

I wish people would use contraception.

I ask all of you who mentioned how annoying and what a pain in the ass children are...it's not the child's fault, that is down to bad parenting.
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violent10dency
I'm sorry I wasn't really going to respond to that,but an opinion does not have to be entirely accurate,or have means to provide complete certainty,that's why it's called an opinion,it's a personal belief. It's cool though I respect all your sentiments so far.

-dirt dobbler
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who the hell cares??
we went too far to turn back now -.-
humans are going to die out sooner or later...
we can't just tell people to stop making kids now...
if we do then something big would obviously happen...

i don't even want kids but yeah we can't just tell the rest of the world to stop makin kids....

i agree with reggie very much so
but hey... who's gonna stop the people in the #1 or #2? nobody...

it's like racism or discrimination we can tell people to stop but it just won't go away

don't take my opinion too seriously i have the mind of a stupid kid
but just throwing it out there
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That does not answer why you think that people who do not have children are selfish or lead unfullfilling lives.
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@: Potato
They are NOT selfish. Nobody is.
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I don't think it would be unreasonable to conclude that the desire to produce children is largely the product of a biological drive. People, especially females, are innately predisposed to yearn for children of their own, and as a consequence they spend much of their time and energy either attempting to attract a desirable mate, engaging in intercourse and/or nurturing offspring.
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gizzie56
@: Potato
You sound to me like you are going to be a wonderful mother. How are you and your new boyfriend getting along? I hope good.
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He turned out to be a freak... I broke it off last week before things got too intimate.... Well, I'm still young... so I can browse for a few more years.
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@: Potato
Not really... it takes two even then.
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gizzie56
@: Potato
My sister is going threw the same thing she keeps finding guys that turn out to be total losers. Your young you will find your man one of these days. In the mean time happy hunting.
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thanks giz :)
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@: Potato
Violent, you can go fornicate yourself you dumb moo. There are people who don't want kids and WILL NOT have any, because of the fact that, well..some people just don't like the little cretins. I think having kids you can't take care of is more selfish than not having kids. I know if I have a kid, I will be an abusive parent who will emotionally scar him or her for life (not to mention be bitter for the rest of my life for having to buy random crap to keep it happy), SO I don't have kids, and I take every precaution not to.
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violent10dency
what's funny about all this we view free will very differently,I in the religious realm. I'm sure you and I could go on for days with our conflicting notions,and I think it's fun. =)

Determinism is interesting,but I think you are more motivated by human flaw,and how to repair it. Just a thought here,if we were to have a society that you dream of the only thing that's even close is a Totalitarian state,say just one country was like this,doesn't matter which one. Don't you think that over time,mans ability to move forward intellectually would discontinue? I mean if children were raised in an isolated facility,they wouldn't be able to adjust to change,they would just be trapped in a government induced comfort zone,and so would the rest of that country. In order for you to attain more knowledge,and improve life,would we not have to deal with change? So we'll just say this state became an impeccable corporation. Just like other forms of government,the society will fail if balance isn't kept. Every human emotion has to have it's opposite. You can't have pain,without pleasure, or happiness,but no sadness. You can't have hate,but no love. Most importantly in this imaginary,perfect world you couldn't have power,without weakness. I'm sure you don't believe anything of the sort,but as time progressed I wonder what people would look forward to,or if they could even think what more life could bring to them? Since the thought of free will would be out,to be controlled,and not have the ability to choose for yourself,or have any knowledge of the past I think in itself would be ignorant,and the organized society would go astray as a result of it's own arrogance.
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violent10dency
lol,I concur.
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Eva_Braun88
Couldn't tell you
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I feel there are several reasons.

A:) they're following what society says is normal. So, they have kids to be "normal".

B.) They were too dumb/horny/uneducated about sex to think of using a condom. They were too embarrassed to use contraception. They were never educated about it. They got caught up in the moment and simply forgot. They didn't put on a condom right, use contraception right, or were too rough.

C.) To be like their friends. I've had several friends who got pregnant cause their bestie did and they wanted to be like their bestie/have their kids be besties/ or have their kids fall in love.

D.) They get pressured by parents to have kids or grandparents or family members or their partner. So they give in.

E.) They truly wanna be parents cause of something like what they claim "maternal instinct" or Deep love or just a want for a child of their own.

F.) They find they're pregnant and are against abortions or adoptions so they decide to keep it.

G.) Others around them have kids and they feel left out and un-normal so they want to fit it.

I myself don't want kids. I may adopt cause there are so many kids in need of homes. But I just can't picture a strange thing growing in me and moving. I don't have the time, due to work. Andd, with my disability I could never care for one. I have trouble caring for myself sometimes >.<
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...or they think kids are cute!!
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Ok you are such a bitch!!! I am 12 yrs old and since I can remember, I have always wanted a kid!!! I am not bothered about having sex even though I am growing up and get really horny and stuff. I can deal with it. Apart from bastards that just wanna get drunk and fucked an all sorts. I am not just saying this coz I am a kid!!! I am absolutely in love with children!!!!!! I really want one to the point where if I see a child, it makes be jealous!!!!!! Remember ur a child aswel so dont give be all this shit. And for all the ppl out there who are like "yeahh totally I hate children I dont get the point of then and like we spend all our money on the little twats and we cud be going better things like having hot sex. Children mess up our relationships!!! Blah blah!!!" its ok if someone doesn't have the money (literally) to have children but ppl who I have just described above are total twat heads!!!! Soz 4 all the swearing buy I can go oh and oh about debates!! And sure I am only 12 but you should see me at skwl!!! I always win all the skwl debates!!!! Some ppl may not be able to control their hunger 4 sex but they shud at least try!! Sometimes I can't control myself but I promised myself that if I lose my virginity before I am ready to have a child and I want one then I .. Well I am not gonna say what I will do!! Wats even harder is the fact that I have already started nt periods so I am technically capable of having my own child! but I have learnt to control that coz I am not ready!!! Y'know even though I am only 12, from the age of 9, ppl have been getting me to babysit!! Coz I love them and I know how to feed them, change their happy and everything!! I am gr8 with babies!!! I can make them stop crying in an instant!! Ok enough about me now coz I am boasting :S I just realised bur I have made my point so I am not deleting it. And 4 ppl who are stereotyping kids out there.. Well get a life!!!!!.. And see if your stereotypes are right or not!!! Ok I am gonna go now so I dont give myself a heart attack! >_< byee and for all the ppl who do like kids and want to have them (not for the sex) then I luv ya ;) I cant find anyone in the world who thinks the way I do about children. Every1 says I am very mature for my age :D anyway.. Soz am rabbiting on.. Byeee xxx <3
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gizzie56
Maybe to carry on their blood line. Children can be a royal pain in the ass but they can also bring you a lot of joy.
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there are a hell of a lot of other things in life that can bring you joy. I totally agree with this guy/girl that made this one. There is not ONE GOOD REASON that anybody in this world can come up with to have a child.
it's 100% completely, totally SELFISH.

They are nothing but a drain on the economy and world. They are little pains in the ass, and thats ALL they are. No, the bloodline thing isnt a good answer either. because you have family that are an extension of you. they're your blood line.
its ridiculous to have a child. there's no good reason. You wanna know what every SINGLE PERSON i have ever asked why they had/want a kid has told me???????
"I WANTED one.."

uh, sorry, thats not a good reason...
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violent10dency
Ha,this is so great,yea I look at this sort of like children are gifts from God. For example, it's like when you have a kid on christmas,and he opens his presents he may or may not take care of anything he got,while only a handful of kids would take care of what they recieved forever. That's really the basic principles of parenthood,it all depends on the individual,and the choices they make. That's why I don't believe any child is a mistake,because everything happens for a reason,and just because you were not planned,does not neccessarily mean your parents would have been ready to have you even if you were planned,or anyone elses for that matter. When it comes to religion,I could even go as far as saying I believe God knows everything about everyone,every thought,and every choice that anyone could ever think of making. I dont think that people just evolved into genectic reproductions of each other,or something better,or even something that will naturally will be discarded. Everyone has a soul,and everyone is different. So based on my beliefs I would have to say there is no right reason,and there is no wrong reason when it comes to the conception of a child,because it was already going to happen anyway. yea and i know i'm sure you think I sound like a some religious nut,but it just makes sense to me.
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@: violent10dency
If religion is your guidance on the subject of children, then I hope you follow the bible and kill your disobedient children.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 to kill their disobedient children with stones.

"If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him.

Old Testament
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violent10dency
Guess I can't argue with that,I mean if you've never been sexually attracted to anyone in your entire life as you said you were asexual,I could see why you'd have doubts about being a parent. I for one do not think settling down,and having a family is primitive,I just think it's the right thing to do. I mean it's just something people have done since the dawn of time,and no I don't mean 600 billion years ago,but that's a whole other story. History repeats itself,as it always will,and there is nothing wrong with that. How do you know what the human mind is capable of? What do you base smarts on? What would be the ideal civilization,and how far would someone have to go to be considered unflawed,in your opinion? just curious???

-dirt dobbler
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Being sexually attracted to someone does not mean you have to have children with that person. And, people have killed people for thousands of years too. Actually, the reason people had a lot of kids was no birth control AND they needed them to work. Obviously, that is not true now.
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As I said before, it's obvious we will never come to an agreement on the subject.

Now to answer your questions.

Q. How do I know what the mind is capable of?
A. I don't know what the human mind is capable of. I only know, partially, what my own mind is capable of.

Q. What do I base 'smarts' on?
A. I simply follow my own evolutionary, logical, and preprogrammed reactions to the stimuli that bombard my senses on a relatively consistent basis while attempting to reprogram my mind when failure is the result of my reactionary responses. So I guess that is my answer. I believe intelligence is based on the success or failure of the intellectual reactionary outcomes relating to processed stimuli. Personal adaptation is another good example. Predicting the outcome of certain actions, and avoiding what is likely going to cause a great amount of difficulty without an adequate amount of gain and basing your decisions on these logical findings often helps to advance these decision-making skills of an individual.

Q. What is my ideal civilization?
A. My ideal civilization would never exist. My standards are far too high to allow for such a thing. I'll have to make a compromise and give you an example of a less than ideal society that is still far better than what we currently have. First off, sexual reproduction would obviously be eliminated all together. There would be no need for reproduction in the short term, as the older humans died off and the human population reduced to a sustainable level for natural planetary redevelopment. This would give us an adequate time to experiment with extracorporeal reproduction techniques and come up with the best means to reproduce for the betterment of the human race. Next, we would need to begin incorporating technology into the biology of the human being to develop superior abilities. As more and more technology was enhanced to heighten out abilities, we would become less and less dependent on biological functions. We would take the best of both worlds and merge them into one. As this continued to progress, there would be less and less of a need to reproduce altogether, as our lifespan would be nearly eternal. With this would come a superior knowledge of the universe which would lead us to space travel and exploration. We would become masters of the universe and evolve all the inferior biological species%%u2019 we come in contact with so that they could know what it%%u2019s like to reach the pinnacle of conscious development. If they didn%%u2019t comply with superiority, we would enslave them to work in our mining facilities or force them to evolve like us for the betterment of themselves. We would be as close to God as we could be; always striving for pure logic and perfection. That would be ideal and possibly realistic.
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violent10dency
@: Fred
That was certainly not expected,incredible vision,although I'm afraid your near-perfect society is not so far away as you'd think. Have you ever read the book Anthem?? it's a good book you should try reading it sometime.

I know I'm probably becoming quite annoying at this point,but I find your point of view very fascinating. Another question if i may? Setting aside the whole evolutionary process,because we can't say for sure whether or not are emotions will change,grow,or deteriorate with time. So my quetion is some people weren't "blessed" with intelligence, so how would you surpass that obstacle in order to achieve the pinnacle of perfection?

-dirt dobbler
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No, you aren't annoying me. I enjoy sharing my views. What about them do you find so fascinating?

As I've put forth in my scenario above, people would eventually be fitted with cybernetic implants to avoid any intellectual shortcomings. Obviously, it will take some time to develop this technology, so what shall we do with these people until that time arrives? The first step should be an attempt to educate such individuals while checking for any underlying conditions which may halt the development of their intelligence. Society, no doubt, would need its 'worker bees' to serve its causes, so perhaps they could be fitted into one of those positions which don%%u2019t require a heightened intellectual capacity. They would obviously be sterilized first so they cannot reproduce and cause another infestation. If all else fails, or the subjects are resistant, perhaps they should be isolated within a different social collective; one which they can develop and operate themselves until sufficient developments are made to reintegrate them into the main social collective.
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What is so strange about all this, is that we were all children at one time. Everyone talks about kids as if they were never one themselves. Yes, I agree that people should no longer have children...but until they come up with a spray (like pesticide) to control population, we have to deal with what is really wrong...
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violent10dency
My favorite book is 1984,so I'm really interested in what the future holds,because to me it seems like were going nowhere. I try to explain this to people,and they don't agree with me. I know things take time to progress,but I mean something's missing,where's the pizazz of the 21st century? The sparkle of technology is lagging perpetually, and even though I know other people have similar advanced ideas I've just never known anyone with your kind of logic.

I was thinking about this today at work(obviously b/c I have no life),and asking other people what they thought about the main subject when it comes to children,and I went even deeper into the subject of what you were talking about. Of course everybody had the same response,what would the world be like without children? I came up with something different though,I thought what would children do without parents? I was thinking along the lines on your thoughts for tomarrow. A parental unit? yes what would we do without them? A good quarter of parents all throughout the world I'd say abuse physically and/or sexually,degrade, or even abandon their children on a daily basis,but what If in the future the world was like what you envisioned? I mean how would life be formed without sex,you can't create life,so what we'd have a place for test tube babies or something? would they all be raised by robots or monks? I just think taking away man's natural desires,and his emotional impulses,would ultimately result in loss of free will,and self expression. Taking away man's way of conception would be a crime against humanity,of course ridding sex would stop rape,but you're forgetting the bond between mother,father and child,and how phenomenal the birthing process truly is.
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the birthing process is gross. Secondly, instead of spending all ur timing blogging mindless babble u should probably "pay attention" to your child, so he doesn't grow up and rob me... so much for ur time management.
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violent10dency
I meant ignore** as in-not even acknowledging the fact that what were doing is wrong when we do something wrong.
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violent10dency
I believe that man will always be flawed in some way,and the beauty of those flaws is that life is returned back to a cycle of innocence, which causes a fresh,new beginning in children to shine through. That is why I highly disregard the idea of brainwashing children into elite,little soldiers of your high-pitched fantasy of a supreme,terrestrial sphere.

My main reasoning behind even thinking that we are still in the dark,despite our technology is because anything natural,such as-food,herbs,and chemicals in things like medicines that man touches makes the world more complicated,and deadly.If we can't even make products safe enough to use on an everyday basis, or make food safe enough for ourselves to eat,or come up with a solution to end starvation,or even get along with each other,we are much delayed in progression. Technology builds upon the hostility of man,it came too fast for people to latch on,and use for better potential.

Computers,yea I don't really get how they work entirely,and I don't think that makes me any less of a person. Although I do enjoy using my computer,as I learn new things from the vast information from it's continuously growing data base,but learning the components,and basic construction of a computer or machine is just like a mechanic learning about new parts on a car,or a veterinarian learning a new technique on a knee replacement for a dog,it's just something else to occupy our time with. I say the more you learn, the more you realize, you know very little. In other words,you can't filter out people who choose to commit crime,it's in our nature to rebel. You can't change the patterns of your brain,you maybe able to open the doors to your mind a little bit more,but you can't change what's already there. The human body is fragile,we turn to dust,and become part of the earth when we die,we cannot live forever,we would have to "evolve" into something with a harder external,and our internals could not be fleshly at all.If that were to happen if we were to have a highly,sophisticated universe filled with limitless wisdom,and life,what would be the point of life? What would be the point in structure,and government or any organization if you couldn't go any further?

-dirt dobbler
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Yes, you are right. Technology can be used in destructive ways, and it can also be used in constructive ways. It's all based on how we utilize it. My proposal is to make the world a better place based on technology. It will take time, but it can happen. I don't share many of your views, and you don't share many of mine. We will never come to an agreement. When will you realize that?

The fragility of the human body is the reason that I would propose the development of artificial organs and cybernetic implants. Eventually, we would become similar to robots. If my brain could be extracted and placed into a robotic body, that would be ideal. I have no need for humanity in its current form.
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violent10dency
I do get it! that we think in complete opposite,but this is fun. =) I think you have a very creative mind filled with futuristic ideas,and I'm sure you will be successful,and help generate better life for the world that is drowning in it's own errors,I too hope to change the world,just with different style.

-dirt dobbler
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You're still having fun with this? I often tire of basically saying the same thing over and over again. Excessive redundancy is futile. Perhaps it might be best if we moved on to a different topic.
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It's not normal, it is biological.

"Normal" has changed over the decades. The biological has remained constant so far.
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violent10dency
I know people can suck at being parents that's why i said "normally" people would give their all,but you're right adopting a child would be even better than having your own when it comes to being unselfish. I've often thought if I could afford it,I'd love to adopt a child,and give them a better life. Some people have children for the right reasons,and some don't. I look at this in a religious perspective really so that's why you and me could never agree on this particular subject.
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religious perspective?
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gee, i dunno...maybe so humanity doesn't die!?! Some people might actually like the fact that children give a future.
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violent10dency
To be fruitful and muliiply is old testament,so people in this present time should use some common sense when it comes to birthing youngins.I don't know if for every death a life is replaced,but alot of people die and are born everyday,and not much can be done about it. People think people are "breeding" carelessly,and bringing another bastardly mouth to feed into the world,in which some are,but people don't have far as many children as they used to. I mean it was crucial for woman to have children in the past centuries,and if they didn't they weren't doing their "jobs". I think our "problem" with the abundance of people is people just wont die anymore,they live much longer,and most babies are healthy,and the mothers don't die at birth. I don't really know what the solution would be to that,but people shouldn't worry so much. We can make more room without cutting down rainforests,and moving mountains.

-dirt dobbler
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Girl you're an idiot. "We can make more room without cutting down rainforests and moving mountains." Sorry, but if we keep overpopulating the world, things are gonna need to come down. Room will need to be made, and the only room we have left are the stupid-ass rainforests, etc. Reading your comments is making me angrier and angrier by the minute. You religious nutjobs are all the same, you think that people need to reproduce, and that is the only thing sex is made for. Sorry to break it to you honey but not everyone wants babies, and not everyone wants to deal with the drama babies bring with them. Relationships, good relationships, end in a very shitty way when a baby comes into the picture. Childfree relationships can be just as, if not more, beautiful than relationships where the couple have a kid. With children, you're FORCED to stay together "because of teh childdenz". Without children, you WANT to stay together. Nothing is forcing you to stay together. Kids are only a reason for stupid conniving women to keep their boyfriend/husband with them. Have you ever seen Maury, Steve Wilkos, etc? It's proof that kids bring nothing but trouble to a relationship.
Go take your bible and shove it up your cooter.
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Quality is better than quantity. Don't you agree?
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You're contradicting yourself there, no? If humans are so barbaric, why let them live? Wouldn't it be easier and better for everything if humans ceased to exist all together?

I, on the other hand, am the eternal optimist. I believe technology and societal structure can indeed make us less primitive, not to mention make our lives much greater and less painful. All we need to do is embrace the future and reject our past failures.
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violent10dency
Hehe you're funny.Humans will always be barbaric in some kind of way,and no I don't think humans should be wiped off the face of the earth. I believe everyone has a purpose,and life is a lesson we must learn through each other,through both mistakes,and achievements. Why would technology make us more intelligent? Technology maybe impressive at times,but what is technology doing? why it's making things easier,right? It's making things more convenient,a little old-fashioned hard work never hurt anyone. So really all that's doing is just causing people to use their brain less,unless of course they design the product. Computers don't make people smart,people help people become smarter.

I don't believe people are generally good. We all have a good nature,and a bad. Some people are satisfied with the right choices,and some people give into temptation,and make the wrong decision. We all have a tendency to steal,to cheat,and lie,rape,or even murder,and we can all develop the desire to actually enjoy doing these things,or ignore them all together,it's implanted in us somehow,someway. As far as our future is concerned,ironically it rests in the hands of our children,who will make those same choices we have to make,and it will be up to them whether or not we cease or prevail.

-dirt dobber
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It is interesting when people try to rationalize some of the irrational yet beautiful intricacies of human nature. There are things that make us extremely happy that are not rationalizable. Why on earth would you stop to help someone that is stranded on the side of the road? It's actually hard to rationalize without coming back to saying, in some way, that its due to a part of human nature that is "just the way we are." Why are people less happy when they don't have some form of work to dedicate their efforts to? Work's a pain isn't it? It honestly makes little empirical sense to want to have and raise children. Its hard, time consuming, and we often know precious little about it when we start, but I'm happy to say that its one of those irrational parts of human nature that allows us to experience a much higher level of happiness than we possibly could alone. On that note, good luck trying to completely rationalize romantic love. Yet we love it.
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violent10dency
For the both of you,forget about being selfish or unselfish,sorry wasn't aiming to make that my biggest debate. It's not about either one,it's about a personal preference. Children may or may not have asked you for life,but how do know you weren't meant to give them life?, and by not you could taking away life that should have been. I'm sure people that don't have kids throughout their entire life can have a meaningful,and happy life,but I think somewhere along the line an instinct for reproduction comes into play.
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Perhaps you're right, in the sense that I 'could' be giving life. Every sperm in my body has the potential to be a living human. Every egg you've ever had had that same potential. If everything that could be life was life, there would be no room or resources left on this planet. I decided long ago not to add to that burden by increasing the population.

I let logic dictate my actions, not instinct. If you want to live in such a primitive, instinctive society, then I suppose you accept that rape is an adequate and acceptable means of reproduction, as the desire to rape is fueled by that same primitive instinct that has allowed and even forced the human species to breed sexually for so many years. I like to think that I've evolved beyond the need for such instinct (or at least trained my brain well enough to reject the idea if favour of more logical options).
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violent10dency
Why are kids these days so afraid of commitment? If it's because they are afraid of "accidentally" becoming a baby with a baby,well I guess i find that disappointing,and worthy of giving praise to at the same time. I am a single parent,and it is not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. My so-called friends terrified me during my pregnancy by telling me I'd be spending 200 dollars a month on diapers,and $500 on clothes. When now all i spend is 40 bucks a month on pull-ups and diapers,and only about 50-100 on clothes. It can't possibly cost 15,000 dollars a year to take care of a child,because most people are only making about 25,000 a year,I mean how could you pay your bills? Anyways,I dont think the question is why do people want kids?,it should be why wouldn't you want kids? Don't you think your life would get boring and pointless,if you had no random,out-of-the-ordinary kind of stuff happening everyday? You won't understand the meaning of becoming a parent until you actually become one. People who say they dont want kids,and actually never do,I guarentee will lead a miserable,self-centered,bring everyone around them down kind of existence.good luck with that!

-dirt dobbler
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Okay. First off, what the hell does being afraid of commitment have to do with anything? I can commit myself to whatever I want to commit myself to. It doesn't mean I need to have kids to show that commitment. I would much rather develop my mind than spread my seed needlessly, and waste a lifetime finding an adequate mate, breeding, and raising children. Honestly, I'd rather do something more constructive with my life. The world has far too many people already.

Regardless of what you say, kids are expensive. Perhaps I am possessive when it comes to my money, but why the hell shouldn't I be? I've worked too damn hard for it to waste it on needless things (in my life).

Why wouldn't I want kids?
Here is my top 10 list.

10. Kids are too costly.
9. Kids are too loud.
8. Kids are too messy and unsanitary.
7. Kids attract more kids.
6. I enjoy my life to much as it is to change it.
5. I have far too much potential to be great to let that go to waste by seeking out the family life.
4. Humans are too flawed, in general, to allow me to procreate. Perhaps if humans were more readily willing to evolve into something greater, I would reconsider.
3. There are too many humans already on this planet, so there is simply no reason to add more.
2. I am antisexual, and therefore could never bring myself to breed.
1. I would go insane and kill myself.

I have many more reasons, but those are the main ones. Call me selfish, and you may be right, but I think it's far more selfish to have kids than to not have kids.

Consider this. Your kids never asked for life. It was your own selfish desire to have kids that brought them into this world. How do you know that you bringing them into this world won't cause them great pain? How do you know they won't cause you great pain? The unknown variables in procreating make it such a risky decision that I would be far too reckless if I decided to have children. And you are being reckless by making that decision as well.

So what's better, a miserable self-centered life, or a miserable life where everything is taken from you? And I'm by no means saying that my life is miserable. I am saying it would be miserable if I had to deal with children on a regular basis. And aren't you being a hypocrite by seeking a selfish, happy existence in which you bring unsuspecting beings into a world they never asked to be brought into rather than a miserable existence in which you don't bother anybody? These are just some things for you to ponder. I await your reply.
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violent10dency
@: Fred
Uhh wow ok then where do I begin here? well I was just adding onto some of the comments before me about the commitment,and how kids take it so lightly now. I mean if people can't commit to a relationship there's no wonder why nobody wants to have children.

As for your reasoning behind not wanting kids, I too used to feel this way,especially during my teenage years. I didn't know what to say to kids,how to act around them,but I'm getting better. Children can be cruel so I thought why bring another demon into the world? I guess having a child,changed my thought towards children. I am an only child,it was very hard for me,and I do think being around adults all the time has caused me to be the way I am now. As far as finding a "mate",as a child I was attracted to boys,but never interested sexually,I still struggle with men now. However I think it's completely normal for couples to want to have children. I personally like the idea of children having a mommy and a daddy,and having a strong bond through good times and bad.I know,I know what can I say?

I find your top ten reasons not to have children to be very amusing,and surprisingly genuine.

In some aspects you are right,you don't really know if bringing a child into the world is better for you,or your child. For-instance,my son,I wonder about him everyday,and my biggest worry is whether or not he'll be like me when I was a kid. Even in daycare he is a loner,and doesn't seem to act like he's interested in playing with other children. He likes them,but he doesn't understand how to play with them. It might be because he's two,and maybe that's normal I don't know,but I just hope he figures out how to make it through school. I also worry that he might be like his father,and be spoiled,greedy,and show know concern for anyone around him. He could disappoint me,he may let me down,I likewise,but he's still my son,and I will always be his mother.

I do however think something in your life happened to you,and I think you might not have a very close relationship with your parents,and siblings. I think you gave your all in a relationship,and they hurt you so bad they didn't have to stab you in the back,they went ahead and stabbed you in your face. I hope you can recover from the past,and learn to understand to just let come whatever may. Children are natural,sex is natural,humans make mistakes,but children are never mistakes. It is not selfish to have a child,because normally you'd give your all,and even your life for your child. By giving the chance to make a better future for anyone,anywhere from your child being born,or allowing your child to choose their own destiny is by far I think one of the greatest selfless acts one could ever accomplish.

-dirt dobbler
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"children are never mistakes."
Yes, they can be, I was myself.

It is not selfish to have a child,because normally you'd give your all,and even your life for your child."
normally... I think you have an idealized way of looking at parent-child relationships. Maybe its the media that paints such a rosy picture of average family life.

"By giving the chance to make a better future for anyone,anywhere from your child being born,or allowing your child to choose their own destiny is by far I think one of the greatest selfless acts one could ever accomplish."
I think having children is not altruistic in and of itself, because giving them the bst possible life is your responsibility. Adopting children is incredibly altruistic because you are assuming responsibility and not creating it.
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You live in a funny world. How many bad parents are there in the world? How many kids are mistreated by people who HAVE to procreate? How many kids are scarred by divorce and the toll that takes? Those are reasons to not have kids. The truth is that too many people procreate for selfish reasons. If someone decides not to have children, we should celebrate that decision. IMHO, about half of the people who procreate should not have.
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I REALLY have to disagree with you on the issue regarding children and having them. There are people in this world who don't want children, and SHOULDN'T have children. There are people with serious mental disorders and they know it would be a BAD idea to have kids, and they don't want the burden of having to deal with raising offspring as well as dealing with their mental disorders. Having kids would NOT be the right thing to do for someone with a serious issue like psychosis. Seriously, not everyone has that parenting instinct. Some of us have our own issues to deal with and we don't want the burden of having to deal with trying to raise kids.
Seriously, you need to think of the big picture, not just of your ideal world.
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I realize that you were simply replying to somebody else, but I replied to your reply, and you in turn, replied to my reply, and I%%u2019m now replying to your reply. That%%u2019s the way this site works. It%%u2019s a series of replies.

RE: Commitment:

I don%%u2019t take commitment lightly. In fact, after much consideration, I reject it all together, at least in the sense of romantic relationships. I%%u2019ve never been in one, nor will I ever be in one, as I%%u2019ve seen what they can do to people. I also reject breeding in its current standard form.

You say that you were never sexually interested, yet you still had a child. How and where did that change? There%%u2019s the fundamental difference between us, and the reason I believe your logical processes have been altered and tainted as a result. You bred, you had a child, and then your ideals changed as a result. It doesn%%u2019t take half a brain to realize the connection. If I avoid such acts, my situation won%%u2019t end up being as dire as your own. I came to that conclusion long ago.

RE: My family relationships:

As a religious person, how do you get off being so judgmental? You seem to think you know everything about me, yet you know nothing. I have a very close relationship with my mother. I have no relationship with my dad, as he died long ago, but we were close while he was alive. His death was expected and wasn%%u2019t traumatic. I accepted that reality and moved on with my life. As I stated earlier, I%%u2019ve never been in a romantic relationship. With regards to letting things come as they may; I do that to a large degree. It%%u2019s in my nature to reject things that could dramatically alter and destroy everything I have worked for in my life. I agree that children are never mistakes though. Children come as the result of the cause and effect relationship that rules the universe. As a sentient being, it is my job to try and predict those cause and effect relationships and decide what is best. Nothing is completely predictable, however, I think I have a good enough grasp on the physics behind the way things work to know what%%u2019s beneficial for me and those around me and what isn%%u2019t.

It%%u2019s obvious that you and I will never agree regarding selflessness and selfishness, but that%%u2019s fine. You don%%u2019t understand what I%%u2019m saying, and I can accept that. I wish you the best, regardless of our differences of opinion.
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LOL dirt dobbler... Many ppl w/o kids live wonderful, fulfilling lives... how could you generalize so much? They get to travel and explore and learn w/o worrying about diapers and car-seats... You ummm don't "seem" ... happy. You seem kinda bitter.
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thats not really true... without kids people can focus on career and friends... if they are single there is a hot nightlife scene. There is travelling the world and learning and being religious... There are many things to do that would be difficult if you had kids. I hardly think that you are right in calling them self-centered and a burden..
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violent10dency
@: Potato
yea they'd be preoccupied,but usually people get depressed after the party life,and want to settle down,so I was saying when they get older if they dont,they will regret it.

-dirt dobbler
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Maybe YOU would, but I know people far older than you who are pretty fucking satisfied with their lives. Its ignorant to assume that because you have a particular goal in life (to spawn at a very young age) every one else who does not want to follow that path is self centered or will experience regret. I have spoken to several parents who fucking regret having children with all their hearts, in fact, my neighbor is one of them.
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@: Potato
to this you will probably reply that that is because they are self cenetered or some other baloney like that. But truth be told, they very well might have been happier, and its not doing anyone a favor but yourself when you choose to have kids. Its not exactly altruistic to concieve.
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violent10dency
@: Potato
I'm not saying at a young age,I'm saying after someone turns I dunno 35,and they dont have kids I'm sure most people would regret it. It's just a matter of opinion really,I don't like it when people say "I hate kids" or "I'll never have kids",I just don't get that I mean everyone was once themselves a child right? Back to the post, I believe every person has parental instincts,and if they choose to not have children,that's fine,great for them,but if we spawn another generation of 20 something year old non-child bearing,and non-impregnating kids,maybe then I'm wrong,maybe just maybe if we go from 6.6 billion people to 4 billion,it might make the world a better place. There would certainly be alot more room to go around. =)

-dirt dobbler
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I wish I had the time to reply to your post. Since I don't, I'll just back up Potato's reply for now, but you can expect a harsh dose of pure logic from me in the future.
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THE EARTH CAN SUPPORT THE PEOPLE THAT ARE BORN IF NOT THAN THE BEST WILL SURVIVE
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PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE IT SAYS THAT G-D SAID TO ABRAHAM THAT HE SHOULD BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY SO FOLLOW HIS WORD AND GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN
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Yes, but fruit trees, unlike humans, seem to know how to produce the proper amount of fruit without making the whole damned tree topple over. We humans haven't gotten that part figured out yet. In fact, at the rate we're going, we're quickly fucking our way into oblivion.

The current world population, as of September 2007, is believed to have reached over 6.6 billion. The world's population is expected to reach over 9 billion by the year 2050. How much longer do you think the planet can comfortably sustain this overgrowth of humans?

I regret to say this as I have children of my own whom I love dearly but at this point, it's very difficult to justify bringing more children into the world, given all of the circumstances involved with carrying for them in addition to the burden on an already overcrowded planet. And the sad truth is that many people have children not because they really want them, but because they feel it's the "natural" thing to do and also, that they will be ostracized if they don't go along with what's supposed to be one of the most important experiences in the whole range of human growth and maturation processes.

It takes a brave person nowadays to stand up the established norms in this area and say, "To hell with it -- I'm talking care of myself and MAYBE a significant other -- but I'm not raising another human for 18 years when it's hard enough just to keep myself in good order." And before anyone jumps on me, I'm NOT suggesting you're a jerk for having kids or wanting to have kids. I'd be quite the hypocrite if I did since I have several of my own. But I AM saying that those who chose not to reproduce should be praised for their choice. It's a brave stance, and one that ultimately will ease the pressure on an overpopulated world with far too many children suffering from starvation, neglect, abuse of all kinds, and just lack of being wanted in the first place.
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Funny.
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@: Fred
WHATS FUNNY
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The fact that you need to use all caps to make yourself feel more important.
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@poster

if we don't have kids then life will end.

you don't find that to be a reason?
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@: Mimir2
I think people that have children don't really think about it. It's one of those natural progressions in life. You graduate, get married, have babies, have a career, get old, kids resent you for being bad parents and let you die in assisted living. Sorry, mini rant there. Anyway, I don't see having kids so humanity doesn't end as a good enough reason to have kids. The earth was a much better place before humans destroyed it, maybe it's time we all phase out and let nature revive itself. I've always said you should have to take pills in order to have kids, rather than to not have them. I think the world would be a better place if it were that way. There wouldn't be kids having kids, or so much poverty. I think people are scared of what their life will be if they don't have kids. I don't understand why people would want to give up their lives for something that is optional. People that don't want kids are called selfish. I think just the opposite. It's selfish to bring something into this world that otherwise wouldn't exist or know the difference. You're bringing them into this world because you want someone to love, and someone to love you, and someone to take care of you when you're old. There are so many reasons not to have children (in America). I think I'll start making a list...
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I have personally always found children more beautiful, interesting, enlightened, and special than adults. Making money and spending your life behind a desk isn't what's important. Happiness is the best thing, and children bring happiness. You will never feel as happy as when your child starts walking or says her first word. You will never feel as close to your partner as when you experience raising a child together. Also, think of a world without children. Because children are so innocent, they keep peace within people. Hardly anyone wants to drop bombs on children.
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"children bring happiness (...) You will never feel as close to your partner as when you experience raising a child together" (dropdeadelle)

Oh really? Do you know that studies always contradict you on that one? Childfree couples stay together longer and are overall more satisfied both with their relationship and with their lives than those who have kids.

Having kids is a surer way of getting a divorce than not having them.
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Agree 110%.

I read somewhere, that in a study that they did, couples were HAPPIEST BEFORE the first child was born, and AFTER the last one left the house!!!!!

now, does that sound like raising children brings you closer together to you all?
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I think that all of our thoughts on having children are heavily formed by the way we were raised, etc. All I know is that my parents were very dangerously matched and left us children in very doubting devastating terms when it comes to fo family relations in general. It was an abusive relationship and thankfully they divorced when I was five and my lil' bro' was three.
I am now 36 years young (and female) and have never had the desire of having children. Nor did I ever dream about getting married...somehow I believe this is closely related.
The thing is...i respect your decision to have children but i don't understand why people must question those who don't have children so strongly? I personally don't want children but would never ask someone out of the blue "why the hell would you ever decide to have children?". That's a personal choice that I realize happens whether it's planned or not. I happen to consider myself lucky because I've never been pregnant and had to contemplate abortion...which I would inevitably choose unless I suddenly felt the desire and priority of having a child. Thankfully, my mother is supportive and completelty sees my side of the equation. She was a single mother who tended to two children her entire life...and basically still seems to revolve her life around us, despite her own needs.
I think many of us, males included, have the nurturing qualities to become a wonderful parent, but I know that it should not have to define us as people unless that's what we truly desire.
I have several friends who have no desire to have children and haven't...they are my closest friends. They are some of the best, most real, and most caring individuals I have ever met. If they chose to, they would be the best parents in the world. I believe my husband and I would also be. However, beyond the fact that our world is completely overpopulated, I have many other issues with having a child:

Like my mother, I would constantly worry and never be able to sleep properly ever again
There are so many children that need to be loved and find a good home that I could hardly justify having my own.
I love to travel and would resent having a child to slow me down and make me stunt my plans.
God forbid, something happened to my child...life as I know it would be over.
God forbid, my child and I would never connect and I would be raising a monster who lived to defy me.
I believe there are many legitimate reasons for not having children and I hope you can understand the reasons herein.
THERE ARE SO MaNY.
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