Why does the answer to everyone's relationship problems have to be "dump him/her"? What ever happened to working things out? I think a lot of people are pessimistic when it comes to love/relationships, on here and... Off here too, really. Maybe people wouldn't breed as much if everyone would quit telling them to dump their significant other and find someone else when they get in an argument. Maybe people would actually overcome their problems if they really took the time to analyze the problem. I'm not saying everyone should stay together, but i think people deserve more informative answers than, "dump that asshole". When someone asks a question involving more than one person they are apt to give only or mostly their own perspective.
Is it normal to be kind of bothered by this lack of empathy toward the other party?
Is it normal to be kind of bothered by this lack of empathy toward the other party?
I get the feeling that most of those questions want to be answered with a "dump his a**!" or, "Leave that b***h!" Could be wrong, however, I do dislike it when that happens {sometimes}.
Some of the post are so vague too. It's hard to give good advice when the OP tells a half a**ed story about how bad their mate is... More details are needed. Forget the whole "I don't want to bore you with my story so I'll keep it short". If you ask a short question, you are going to get a short answer, that may or may not be helpful.
Yeah, I posted this answer already. I had to fix a grammatical error. :}
Sorry, but some relationships are just not meant to last. And like ItDuz said, people are not going to change with the snap of a finger. Rarely do people even change at all, in fact, this is the advice I give in real life: You can't go into a relationship with someone and expect them to change for you. Period. Either you accept them for who they are or you move on. If they change, it will be because they want to and if they feel that you are worth changing for or that changing is beneficial to them, then good for you!
I wouldn't recommend that everybody just give up on their relationship, but when you think with your empathy and feelings concerning someone who doesn't appear to have your best interests in mind, you're cruisin for bullshit. If the situation demands that the other party "change their ways", I'd rather the OP expect them not to than go on in a miserable relationship hoping that this person will magically start giving a damn about themselves and others.
Talk it out. But don't care about the relationship more than they do. It takes two.
A good question.
It's because people are weak these days, divorce is encouraged instead of frowned upon, and the solution to everyones problems is to run away from them. The morals and values of the old school have gone down the drain because of stupid liberal idiots that think being a big pussy is the meaning of life. Everyone seems to follow this trend of thought and it sickens me. Look at how much better the 50's were, i may only be 25 years old but i can certainly see how fucking disgraceful libs are now towards love and life.
By the way I wouldn't blame the liberals for the any marriage woes, they have a better track record of staying married than conservatives do. It's funny how those that stop worrying about preaching the wrongs of others and start focusing on their own issues tend to stay married longer.
Why do you think? Because idiots runing around spreading std's and drugs all over the place was inevitable. They left all of that for future generations to clean up while sitting on their fucking asses smoking pot and fucking anything that moved. The 60's are a great example of what i'm saying.
"I wouldn't blame the liberals for the any marriage woes, they have a better track record of staying married than conservatives do"
Nowhere near correct.
I'm not sure how any of the rest was relevant at all.
As for the stats on liberal vs. conservative marriage and divorce rates: liberals get married later and less frequently but those marriages are less likely to end in divorce.
http://familylaw.typepad.com/stats/2011/04/stat... (see the PDF attachment)
In fact if it wasn't for the northern great plains states (the Dakotas and Montana--some of the lowest populated states) bucking the trend for the conservatives and Washington D.C. (also sparsely populated when considering it doesn't have the population of an entire state--except WY) for the Liberals it would be a pretty cut and dry case.
You can spin things anyway you want and believe what you want but i see a huge coincidence in the liberal uprising and the quality of the world we live in now. And it's a shitty one unless you're one of those crazy people who think things are actually better these days.
In my opinion its best to just count your losses, be thankful that you even HAD the relationship to begin with, and just go your separate ways. Learn from you mistakes and start from scratch with someone new, who's better suited for you.
Once something is broken, it can never be fixed completely, or put back together to the way it was before.
Besides, do you REALLY think people get off IIN and immediately leave their partners?
NO! They just come one here so people spoon feed them what they wanna hear, I'm pretty sure the majority of them continue on in there relationships, also I'm sure they have friends IRL that they are asking for advice, as well as IIN.
I don't know who the OP is but they sound like someone who shares my viewpoint on things.
I wrote this when I was angry with my boyfriend...
http://isitnormal.com/story/iin-my-boyfriend-turned-me-into-a-bitch-and-now-he-hates-me-for-it-129395/
And this I wrote for my boyfriend (I can't get him to use this site for anything), empathizing with him AMAP, using words he has said to me ...
http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-for-my-girlfriend-to-hide-things-129610/
Notice the difference in responses. I find it interesting...
Do you also find it interesting that two different pairs or shoes with two different sizes fit... differently?
Although I love how you'd rather point that out than address the argument that I gave you. But you're more interested in bitching about advice that you got from bitching about your boyfriend as opposed to just talking to him like an adult. Oh oh sorry, growing up and having an adult relationshop is hard work :( you'd rather come vent on the internet, nevermind :(
As far as taking this discussion too far, please. I have yet to start talking about your Mom.
Also, I can sense your anger. You like to have the last word, don't you?
Uh huh... I didn't say that you're angry about the responses you got, I am saying that you are getting angry, period. All you are really doing is bitching, if you're going to bring up stupid points like
"Well apparently someone is on my side here..."
as if I give two shits and a fuck, ma'am, then you're going to get it from someone.
"Also, I can sense your anger."
Are you like, an empath, like Dianna Troi from Star Trek? How are you sensing this anger? I don't sense anything, I am not a telepath or a Betazoid, I am just pointing out what you said. And no, I don't "like to have the last word", but I am choosing too easy of a target and I almost want to feel ashamed to be arguing with someone who obviously isn't too into using reasoning skills whilst communicating with others.
Dumping someone would be the easiest and most effective way of running away from whatever problem that person were causing.
they may think because you're married, the relationship can be easily discarded, but challenge them to dump their significant other over a similar situation and I doubt they would.
Don't worry, most people wouldn't even take their own advice lol
So, some suggestions, you shouldn't put much "weight" behind.
=D