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Why does my boyfriend wank over porn...im asleep
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My boyfriend wanks over porn on the internet or watching it on TV. I am in upstairs in bed when he does this i have children so im tired and wake up at 6am every morning for them.

I have never actually walked into the room when he's doing it, i think this is because if he hears me walking down the stairs hes got time to stop and switch channels!

I only know because I was up on the landing peering down when he came to the hallway to get a wetwipe off the shelf with his penis dangling out and cum on his palm. I look for the wetwipe every morning now!

On the internet he has typed in specific names and descriptive words to look for the right video to watch ie: devine(pornstar),fart,squirting etc.

He more or less does this every night. we do have sex tho but im not getting enough to make me feel like im still loved and attractive. we used to have great sex and now hes selfish and doesnt really care like he did about me not releasing my frustration and climaxing.

I am so upset that he does this especially when im just a walk up the stairs. is this normal? or is there something wrong with me and he doesnt want me every night? i would watch porn with him but its like hes almost embarrased!
I dont know yet if he is using webcams i dont know how to find that one out! its like hes cheating on me that is exactly how i feel, so everyday im in a bad mood with him and i have confronted him but we argued and had a massive fight with no resolving my issue that hurts me so bad.
I do wish though like many others have said that all pornstars should be killed they are hoes yet if us 'normal' women cheat we are the ho "yet your happy to wank over one!! "

Please help!!! am i being silly? I love sex but i want him to come to me more insted of hiding and doing this. Oh and hes not really a great person to confront he finds it soooo hard to talk!!

I would love some male advice or answers as to what they think this is? and women please be here for me too!!! are you going through the same

Thanx guys
x
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Comments (98)
my hubby wanks too ,he waits for me to go to bed,then puts porn on i watch him from the bedroom window which faces the tv room,but he dont know ive seen him,,he never wants sex with me so ive given up trying,,,,why do u think he prefers a wank to real thing?,,xx
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@: suzy123
I don't get it either. My bf and I have been together for a short time and he tells me he is satisfied with making love to me and then 20 to 30 minutes later, he's taking care of himself to porn. He rarely cums inside me and when he does, it takes a long time. He usually pulls out and masturbates to finish himself off. I feel like I don't satisfy him. It's so frustrating and hard to feel beautiful when he only cums to porn.
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Hi i know what you mean.I am sick of mine doing it.

I mean why look at porn when they can get it off their partners.

x
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I cheated on my bf wen i found out n jus found shit today guess he didnt leaen his lesson!!
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Because their partners are boring in bed,
Whining, nagging and not making the effort to indulge his fantasies.

That's why

And that's from a male who divorced his wife because she became a frigid old woman
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I know how u feel my fiancé an have been together for a year an at the begging when we had sex he would cum yea it would take a few hours but I didn't mind I enjoyed it,but now when we do have sex he doesn't cum anymore an when I tell him I'm going to bed we will say good nite an he turns the off leaves the on well I acted like I had to use the bathroom an caught him well ever since then I act like I'm sleeping an he will sit on the couch in are room an jackoff to porn he watches it on his phone. I feel like I'm not good enough anymore an that he's not attracted to me but when I talk to him about it he tells me I'm insecure an he loves me an he is attracted to that there is nothing wrong with an the reason he wacks off to porn is because he comes faster what should I do? Please someone help me I don't know what to do anymore
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@: suzy123
ok i have decided to try this. my husband is always wacking off. so i am going to turn on some porn when he goes to bed and leave the volume up so can hear it and me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am very sexual.and i dont know what the problem is and right now i dont care. i have talked to him about this over and over so now its my turn. to let him think that i want more than what he can give me. i dont pull no punches in our relationship. we both were married before. (ATTENTION MEN ) DON'T SAY CRAP WHEN YOUR GIRL DECIDES SHE LIKES TOYS AND MOVIES MORE THAN YOU!!!!!!!!
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He will probably do what you SHOULD be doing when you catch him.
Join in!

Instead of bitching like an old prude, grab his cock and beat him up a bit, show him which side his breads buttered.
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@: suzy123
Ok well as a male I can answer this.
He wanks over porn because it turns him on.
Be honest, do you indulge his fantasies? Do you try new things? Do YOU make the effort to make HIM feel sexy?? Or do you lie there and think of England, saying "no" to any suggestion he makes.
Have you stayed in shape? Do you come on to him?
Hey guess what, never mind the porn, he wanks over your friends too,
I guarantee he's made himself come over every single one of your friends, fantasising about having them seduce him, doing all the sexy things you won't.

The issue girls, is you.

You don't tick all his boxes and if you are completely honest with yourself, you obviously don't make the effort to be sexy.

The porn stars are doing exactly that, hey face it, they aren't even in the same room as him and he's orgasming just watching. When was the last time he wanked over you and your body??
I can tell you this 100% .....never.

All men like porn, and so do women whether they admit it or not, and heres a preemptive response to the girls who say "well i dont like porn, i think its disgusting"

oh dear....if you can't get off watching movie people have sex, because its "disgusting"...how the hell do you expect to be the kind of woman a man wants to be sexy with?

Prude Is the word.
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Pip
@: Mrmatt
Your obviously an ugly fucker who ain't getting any lol how did you come across this anyway do you think you have a problem with porn. Poor you lol
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bdi
@: Mrmatt
I agree with 90% of this- its great to hear a males perspective! Your a bit harsh on woman tho.
cheers!!
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Its sort of reassuring to read everyone's comments. I am also in a similar situation. My boyfriend & I have been together for 6 months now, but were friends for 6 months before hand. We recently moved in together but our sex life has deteriorated. We used to make love almost every day and send naughty messages to each other so that by the time we saw each other we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Now I've been told not to text him rude stuff any more, that times have changed. He masturbates over porn every day, and every day I miss out and get further and further away from him. ITs killing me. I don't have issues with porn, we watch it together, or we used to - but now it seems its easier for him to knock one out every day rather than make love with me. I feel like my self esteem is through the floor, so ugly and unattractive - and now it seems like I am obsessed with sex because the only time I get it is when he wants it. Love him so much but hardly feels worth it....
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I think im obsessed with sex now because of how Little im getting it, so i know what you mean. i feel like im begging for it after a month not necessarily the pleasure but the feeling of being wanted and of making him aroused just makes me feel good about myself its like a toxin
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I feel that ur Guy should only watch porn if he does it with u. Why does he need to jerk off on his own when he has a gorgeous woman's body right next to him and ur willing to do it together! I feel like he's gotta be a loser if he would seriously rather jerk off by himself when he could have the best of both worlds. I do it with my bf and I think he likes it even better than to do it all by himself. Stand up for yourselfs,its disrespectful for him to watch porn while your trying to fall asleep! Say either u please me and our sex life is together or if u wanna act like a single 12 yr old boy when u can be doing me then go be single...
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I am a 53 yr old guy. I don't do much porn but it should not be such a big deal for you girls. If you don't like him watching it on his own why not join him, why not wank him off while he's watching it or giving him head. When he's finished tell him it's your turn and if not that day then the next. Being upset about porn is crazy and being upset about a guy wanking himself off is crazy too.

That said if I want sex then it is not so hard to turn my girl on but sometimes I know she is tired so just let it be - no point shagging a sack of potatoes - but guys and girls have a duty to each other to provide what each other need and share in each others sex lives. Isn't it all about making each other happy? So for me I do whatever I think my girl wants. Quite often I will go down on her to get her off if she is a bit stressed. Biggest problem I have is that she does not always make enough effort for me and men's sexual urges are more frequent and demanding on a guys mindset than a girls demands are. If I need to cum then I really need to cum and ignoring it or putting it off will just leave me unable to function properly all day. Better to jerk off and feel better, be more productive and think about what I will do to her later.

Sometimes you have to put in a lot of effort to change a person set in their ways but for goodness sake have fun doing it and treat it with less seriousness. If I was watching porn and my girl came and took over she would score a whole lot of reciprocation from me.

Just my two cents worth. Be persistent to please your guy sexually cos you will get it back and it is the essence of the man.
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Pip
Old man go and get laid you dirty old perv
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bdi
Fair enough i reckon. Cheers for your 2c worth, next time i know he is doing it ill try be quick and get in there and finish him off!
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It has taken me ages to find someone that is actually in the same position as myself.

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. Sex was great at the beginning. But now well what can i say it is not existant. He gets off on porn when ever I'm not around, i'm always trying out new things to turn him on or just get him to show a bit of interest to me sexual. But nothing works.

I use to get really really upset and we'd have huge rows some nights about it, but he just said he doesn't know why he has the desire to watch porn but not even touch me in any way.

And just incase there are any comments I'm a size uk.8, blonde hair quite attractive (i'm not being big headed)!!

I have tried so much to imporve myself, made my body nice and toned....I sound so despertae writing this, its terrible.

I am to paranoid I look at the history and cookies sometimes he deletes them, sometimes they are there!!

Really don't know what to do, when ever i bring it up he courese an argument....
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@: apple12
i don't understand why it always ends up as an argument when it really doesn't need to be. im guessing they are embarrassed so their defenses just come up and they are all bitchy.

It sounds like we all love our men.... and im starting to get the feeling of this is mans way of treating em mean keeping em keen. cos i know he watches porn it hurts but i think i can stop him and when he wants sex its great and i think yeah hes never going to forget that but then he hurts me again and we don't do it for like a month. and he will watch porn when as soon as i leave the house, i go to bed the same time as him now and we still don't do it.

this might only be me but im thinking if im not getting it from you and you make me feel this way.... so ugly not sexy etc then im going to be craving that love sooner or later and im just going to end up leaving you and being with someone else. i love him but is this what porn is pushing woman to do or want to do?

watching your man wanking must be hard but id love to catch him and see if he will want sex with me at that time.. lol would be great! id also like to be able to see what he watches, i know a lot of the time he watches bbw which is big beautiful woman im a size 12 so what is this about? and during arguments he calls me fat so i just laugh and say well im not as fat as that chick you were watching last night lol it makes me feel better to say it regardless of how childish this is.
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OH WOW!!!

There's a ton to be said about being open about your sexuality here. Now, this isn't for everyone: some of you have kids and have to be discrete about it... Maybe get yourselves a code word or something... Anyways, to the point:

I am a 26yr old male, currently living with my soon to be wife. We have always been open about our sexuality. She literally will grab my soft dick and pull it to the bedroom when she wants some, and I will literally stand her up and grab her titts and ass.

But being open when you want something is only one side of it: Sometimes, you just don't want sex. I understand this. She understands this. We both are open about masturbation. I know she does it virtually every morning. She knows I do it at least once a day. It isn't anything against the other person. It's just an urge, and sometimes you just know that your significant other will not want sex.

For me, it used to be painful to think of her wanting to masturbate more than wanting my dick. I just didn't understand it. So, I asked. She explained to me that her clitoral orgasm is a completely different animal than her g-spot orgasm. This makes sense to me. I actually had only shaft orgasms until I was like 17 or something like that, then I found out about head orgasms. A completely different animal...

The bottom line: Find a way to be open. If you find him masturbating, don't be afraid to go down and ask him if you can watch. It'll probably turn him on. Be curious about it, but save your questions til after he's done. If you find that he's watching porn, give him some. Make a tape of yourself doing something that he likes to watch & pop it in the next time you find him watching similar porn.

Keep in mind though, that sometimes a guy wants to see something degrading. If this is the case, and he loves you, he probably will not want to see this from you. Let him watch the other sluts do the degrading stuff. He needs to have that separation from time to time.

I am a very audio-centric lover. When she makes the noises we all know, I lose it. So, she put her voice recorder in with us and burned me a CD of it for later. I now use this about 1-2 times a week. She loves that it gets that much use, and it makes her feel sexy.

The bottom line is this: Some guys need a little help getting off. Sometimes it's inconvenient to go through the entire motions of foreplay, sex, and then clean-up. If you're not happy, find a way to get happy.

Hope this helps.
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Okay. I am 20 years old so it might be different. My gf is always willing to do it but the fact of the matter is she is, in my opinion, to picky. The way she wants everything to be done makes it seem more like a process and takes the fun out of it. Instead of just going with the flow, the minute I do something unnattractive or I say something funny she gets mad and ends it. I find it much easier to just go online and jerk off because it makes it easier. I don't know if your like her but if you do what she does then I'm gonna guess your man feels the same way.
Another thing is he could be bored. Maybe role-playing or kinky stuff is what's needed for you guys to keep it fresh. I'm sorry if this doesn't explain much but I just thought I'd offer some advice.
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thanx for your reply. Im not how your girlfrien is, i will say though that the one thing i do say alot is dont touch me. he still touches me but he has finally spoke and said that it hurts him and why put up with the headache from me when going online is easier. i actually dont know why i say it and ive been searching for that answer for a while....how do you feel when she ends it? you must feel hurt also...is going online some sort of revenge in a way maybe?? im sure thats off putting and makes you feel rejected. I never start dong stuff with him im really scared of rejection!!! ive dressed up an that was ok but i know bhes still wanking....he can seriuosly f off if he is guna do that lol! im not horrible
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sounds like im in the same boat as you. I actually walked into the bedroom and my husband was all flustered. Turned out he had just finished himself off. He admitted that he does it quite abit. I find it hard to go to bed early, i end up just laying there awake, so i stay up late. I have just turned 30, and have become really horny. My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is not really into it much now. He says its because i'm at my peak, and because hes almost 40, hes at a low point. He knows that if he was to say to me that he wanted sex, that i would jump to the occasion, but instead, he prefers to wank. I don't know why. I don't have great self esteem at the best of times, so to find this out 2 nights ago has really hit me. Ive taken the blame upon myself. I feel really fat and ugly at the moment, and feel that i repulse him so much that he prefers to wank then to make love to me. I feel really down, but he just doesn't seem to understand.
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thank you barbie doll and janiva....i am not saying this in a mean way but i am too glad i am not the only one. last week i stayed awake and too at the top of the stairs waited to see him run to get a tissue and i aught him for the first time red handed!!! i wanted to cry, my whole body was shaking and felt achy where i was so angry with him i had gone to bed like 15 minutes before hand but quietly sneaked to the top of the stairs(cant believe that janiva did the same what is that private investigators) to try and hear anything....all i got from him was if i want to pull my dick out and play with myself then i will, be thankful i don't go out and find some good pussy. lol this is because i refuse to let him touch me now until he stops doing it, if he e leaves me then he leaves me, i am not going to stop him as he doesn't make me feel sexy or want me to get pleased...he would prefer to watch a women getting pleased then please me!!!! barbie doll...have you masturbated at all or thought of doing this before you go to bed, id say it is easier for women to masturbate as they don't have to watch porn. well i have started to just before i go to bed so that when he does want to have sex i really refuse cause im sorted!! leaves him questioning and im finding he wants to have sex a lot more now but still has a wank obviously, i think its just in there nature and i wish i had the power to change a man but i don't believe anyone does unless your Angelina Jolee. when it comes to porn it really knocks my confidence and when he has sex i find he closes his eyes a lot of the time what the hell is that about i could actually go out tomorrow night and pull like 3 guys so i am sexy but what is going on with him??!!
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Ooooooh my god i really thought i was the only one!! i could have actually written the initial story, i even feel kinda guilty that i check each morning, to the stage that i wrip the corner off the kitchen roll & check to see if it has been used in the morning!!!
& i lay awake upstairs & cant sleep & wait untill it goes quiet & sneak to the top of the stairs to see if i can hear anything!
i have confronted him about it & he just tells me to shut up cause it embarrases him & trys to tell me that it is normal, but i now find that sex is awkward cause all i can think about is that he's thinking about porn that he's watched instead of me!!! especially if he asks me to do something a bit different cause i expext its from something tat he's been watching!!
he's due home any sec so i have to go but hearing im not the only one has really helped!! in a strange kinda way!!!
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Hi! I am just 21. I have been with my boyfriend for the last three years. He's been doing a lot of jerking off since I moved in 6 6 months ago. I don't know what is wrong with me and he keeps doing the same thing over and over even though I am just right next to his room. I can hear it all the time and I can't seem to say anything. I feel that the things that I am doing now is just useless. He tells me I am beautiful and sexy but I don't seem to make myself believe them because of this jerking off thing. This is not the life I wanted. I am not a second hand thing that when he feels like touching now and again. I even look in his bin/trashcan every morning just to check if he has done it. I have done a lot of kinky stuff like dressing up and stuff but they do not seem to work with him anymore. Advice please I feel like dying inside. I don't know if this is really a natural thing for men. I love him but confronting him is the last thing I would do. Why? He gets angry too easily. I feel controlled by him. I can't seem to do anything for myself either. I feel like a statue outside his door everytime he does it. help!
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Last night i was asleep in bed and woke up to my boyfriend watching porn next to me.it actually has made me feel worthless.Cant believe e would do it next to me in bed while he thought i was asleep.I think its men that need help!!!!!
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You need to let him touch you. Give him a bj. Let him lick you. Married guys look at porn when they're bored with their sex life.
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Id say u need to spice up ur sex life with him. Try something new for him, dress up, roleplay, if he has any fetishes find out and use that too.
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Hey,
I don't know what it is really. I just hate the idea of him thinking and getting off over other people but at the end of the day I guess it is just natural. I just want to get out of this mind set and be ok with the whole thing because i am few up with wasting time thinking and obsessing over it!! We have watched it once together and I have to say it has made me feel way better. I think it is a great idea to watch it together because it doesn't seem like such a big a deal then if you are both doing it. I think when he does it by himself and deleted the history I just think the worse because it could be anything he is looking at! Regarding your comments, I think it ends as an argument because with me I was annoyed when he did watch it but when I asked him about the deleted history he obviously didn't want to upset me so lied about it because he knew I'd be annoyed, but then got into a whole and then I was pissed off at him for lying! So I guess in that instant he could't really win, bless him! If I were you ^ then I would talk to your man about it and deffo watch it together, then maybe he wouldn't feel the nee to do it when you're out. As for the bbw, it is probably a type that he likes but as he has you is fulfilling another side of him. Bfs wank about anything but us most of the time because they can have sex with us anytime they want so I guess it's just exploring another fantasy. I know it's hard not to argue as it's upsetting but if you talk one to one calmly I am sure you can resolve this and maybe spice up your sex life as well;-)
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@: missj
Sorry about all the spelling and grammatical errors (not good for a teacher)!!!
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Hay well its nice to know the girls are against it too cause everytime i bring it up with my friends they dont understand why im so hurt, well my partners the same we used to have sex 3 times a week then it went down to once a week and now its been about a month, and i really hate that he masterbates atleast every 2 days i want/need more sex i feel hes being selfish.i also hate him wanking to porn alltogether he knows how much it upsets me and when i talk to him about it he always says the same thing "ill never do it again" but 2 weeks later i find out hes doing it again i too always check the bin every morning to look for tissue i sound mad lol but i no its his problem not mine but it still makes me feel like crap and insecure about myself but i dont see tge point in approaching him about it cause it doesnt get me anywhere as the last time i mentioned it he said if i do it again you can leave me but i too have kids so he knows i wont do that some help would be grate as were all in the same boat here
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Im not commenting on everything above but I believe it's wrong to look at your men as repulsive or filthy for masturbation. And telling them to quit cold turkey just because you don't like it is completely unrealistic. I agree that when they become obsessive with it, it's time to go but only after it's been awhile and you've explained "Hey bro, I'm here, da fawk you do'n?". I found that we guys feel inadequate if our woman suddenly tells us "Don't touch me!" because they saw us doing something as human as choking the chicken, well, I wouldn't really know about that seeing as how I totally prefer banging over masturbating. I love sex like, like...dude i don't even KNOW, I just love it! BOOYAH. But anyway, seeing him doing it once then shooing him away like a fly is more or less, degrading, like how the f*-k do you want me to act? I want some after like a week of nothing, you turn me down, I beat it, s'that simple. Then yo wanna get mad and tell me i'm disgusting and don't touch you? This isn't alien, this isn't the 18-1900's where s%$t's inappropriate, its the 21st century! -- just sayin....And to the author, I'm sorry but you should probably leave him. You sound like a great woman and you've tried many, if not all, things to start the flow and I know you have children and my heart goes out to you and them, but you gotta leave.
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WOW! I can't believe I found this site! My boyfriend of two years has been jerkin off to porn since he was fifteen (he's 21 now) and it hurts like hell to know he's still doing it. But here's the kicker, I caught him in the act last night! We were laying bed getting ready to go to sleep when he said he had to go to the bathroom then and he went into his study and got on his computer. Minutes later I heard a strange sound and got up to see what it was. I literaly went numb when I saw him sitting there. I've been nauseated ever since. I don't want him to touch me. I do hope this feeling goes aways though cause I love him and want to move on, but it's just sickening. I've cried to him time after time about this issue but he never f* stops! I'm hoping last night hit home with him. We both know how addiction works cause we both are in recovery for another form of addiction. Sad thing is is he doesn't see this as a form of an addiction.
Thanks girls for posting your stories. If any of you make any progress with your man let me know how you did it. It made me feel a little better knowing that I'm not the only one who won't put up with our man's sh*.
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and what women arent attracted to other guys besides there boyfriend everyone is sexist women hate men men hate women my sister talks about how guys are pigs but she goes for younger guys my mom really liked this guy and she didnt want anything to with him she acted like she wanted to meet him but never showed and he was looking forward to meeting her and she said she was going to and never did
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@: seanm29
like women dont want to secretly f+++ tom cruise and brad pitt why is it wrong for guys to think other women are hot but you dont care if he wants you to only think about him
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@: seanm29
i was just upset how the women talk about men on here i dont know about other guys can only speak for myself most relationships i had lasted maybe a week so lots of porn always ready and 1 relationship was on and off for maybe 2 years and i figured out that the on and offs she was breaking up with me to have sex with another guy i cant help it god didnt give me the skills to make a move i had a birth defect couldnt breathe and now have schizophrenia for me porn is just less hassle now i feel like even if i met a woman who would actually make a move i wouldnt want to try it again i am addicted to porn but its all i had through the years so even if i found woman that makes the moves dont know if id even want to try
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Honestly I don't care who says it's ok I don't think it's ok if he doesn't atleast let u one I mean cum on If I've got years invested shit I expect first dings lol but seriously we been together 8 yrs n got 3 kids but we split for a while so for me it's not porn I feel he thinks about her we've been doing soo good so I told him straight up if u do it agin I will leave bc yes to me it's cheating but he swears on everything he's stopped I knw he has but the crazy thin is I catch myself everynight watching him n every little moved e makes makes my hart pound so I tell him about that n so if I dnt give Jim sex be more he lays as tight to me as he can he trys to keeps his hands on me or in the open so I knw he loves me n if u have yrs invested keep it real he can't do nothing but respect that come on ladies look at all we do. I'm so happy I found this sight my stomach doesn't feel so tight be more
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theres nauseating things about women too guys cant stand to think the women there in love with has had sex with other guys especially if the numbers are high its sickening we dont care if pornstars have lots of sex we dont care about them plain and simple fact porn is easier no awkward making a move in porn the women just walk right up to the guys and take there pants off
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@: seanm29
k first off, its the same thing with guys, WHY CAN GUYS HAVE HIGH NUMBERS AND GIRLS CANT? Seriously, women can get bored of guys too, your not gods gift to us realize that. When you dont want sex do you see us running to our laptops to get ourselves off? NO because we actually want the real deal rather than imagining shit....
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I didnt expect to get anything back when I typed in the search engine, why does my man wank instead of making love to me...it just seemed a desperate measure. I'm so surprised to find all the stories that are similar to mine. We have been together for 6 years, both been married before. He is unemployed at the moment so has a lot of time on his hands, and oh, the rows we have over the porn thing v the real thing. He says women will never understand men...I'm totally baffled by the whole thing and get terribly upset, low self esteem etc just like you all.
I don't know what to do, but it's somehow comforting to know I'm not alone in this.
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being unemployed seems to attract men to porn, my guy is unemployed and every time almost that i leave the house he does it. i wonder if it is cos they are bored an they just search to be curious and then they like what they see obviously and get hard and whack off! but i dont get why you dont want to be curious with me and my body!
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Just a quick input here. I'm only 13 year old boy, and hasn't been involved inb either side. Maybe he enjoys to jerk off then he does sex. Why not, instead of offering or intending to have sex. Give him a handjob. One day send him out somewhere. Get the house or romantic and as he walks in, give him a smirk and nod your head toward the tele. There have some porn on. Try to convince him to 'show you how it works'. Then try get in on it. rub your hand on his balls. Kiss his neck. Then take control.

Hope this helps ;)
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Seriously, you need to listen to my advice, I had the same problem as all you guys, and I found an answer!!

Some of you may feel to ermbarrassed or cringed out to do this, but overcome that and youll have the best reaction.

When I found out about my boyfriend I thought of so many ways of stopping it, but nothing worked.

In the end I made a few porn videos of myself, fingering myself and touching, and then I put them on his computer, save them to the desktop so when he goes on, its the first thing he notices, hell then start wanking over you and not some other slut. Thedn slowly I put more videos on his computer, 1 every 3 days or so. Then we staerted having sex more.

Everythings great now, I still check his history and delketed files and stuff, but now I find absolutley no dodgy stuff anymore!!

I know its a hard thing to do for some of us, but pluck up the courage and do it, youll be so happy after.
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I see this going two ways.

Option 1: tell him that he better start performing or you might start considering a draft prospect. I feel if he leaves you then good. and if he starts doing his job then whats a lil porn.

Option 2: start masturbating with him but specifically turn on porn with well hung men. Either way your hanging out masturbating together. Eventually hed just smarten up and go to you lol.

Option 3: This is just your typical primary example of communication failure. If you dont like him watching porn then tell him, but be prepared to get worked.
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why is it we should keep men happy men should do exciting stuff for us instead of wacking off
iam bored off my sex life i think of other guys some times just to get myself off i think theres to many people saying wimen should do this and that it works both ways
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Hey everyone, i made it through the first 15 comments but didn't really want to read all of them.. Anywyas, I'm a guy, 22yo. I can tell you right now that it's not any of you girls' fault that your guys wont do stuff with you and would rather watch porn. I'll tell you this right now, i've had a gf and have watched porn while she's sleeping next to me too. Some of your comments mention how your guy will say he's gonna go do something and then a sec later you find him j/o to porn. The reason for all this is simple: porn is extremely addictive. It is also very destructive for relationships. I've been trying to quit it but always seem to come back to it. I def want to quit it soon cuz i would never want a girl I love crying over my porn addiction and feeling unwanted like all you ladies are. I apologize on behalf of us men who have this addiction. I only hope that you guys can talk it out and that your guys will realize that they have a problem. that's all. Hope the best for all of you.
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Im in the same boat I walked in on my husband last night also jacking off. I got pretty upset. I asked him what he was doing and he said jacking off and then showed me the pron on his phone. I like to think that my husband I have a very open relationship together we have watched porn together. We do have sex and when we do its however he wants it to be, even anal sex. SO obviously Im gonna be upset when I wake up and he is no where to be found. I think what upset me the most was that he was doing it secretly in the down stairs restroom. He didnt try to lie about it but I was like Im upstairs why cant you have sex with me? Today I feel more hurt about it then last night. Last night I was super mad. I mean I masturbate to and he knows it, I think maybe thats why when I asked him what he was doing he was so open about it. I did tell him tho I havent masturbated in a long time though which is very true. So obviously Im upset that hes hiding in the downstairs bathroom jacking off to porn. Why not come upstairs and just start having sex with me asleep or not!! Hes done it before why is tonight different? I dont wake up and say no I wake and take it I like it! What makes me even more upset is not knowing how often he does it. Is he doing this everynight? Is that why he stays up so late? WHen I go to bed he is usally in the office working on our business. We recently got a email about his phone about to go over the data charge. Is that why, is he always looking at porn on his phone? I feel so upset and my self esteem is well..not there at all. What do you guys think?
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Oh my gosh, its so good to know I'm not alone.. my fiance always waits untill I fall asleep and he gets on the internet on his cellphone and watches porno and masterbates. It really upsets me and makes me feel like I'm gross or ugly. The other thing that bothers me is that in all of the porns he watches(he saves them to his phone and yes I know I shouldn't dig but I can't help it) the girls always look like one of his ex girlfriends.

I have asked him about it before and he yells at me like I'm doing something wrong for asking him. I have caught him in the middle of it and he says its my fault and he gets up and goes to the bathroom. I told him it makes me feel like he doesn't find me attractive and he says I'm crazy. I can't take it anymore, I feel like he is going to cheat on me. I feel like I don't make him happy anymore.

He also lies about little things all the time so if I ever did feel like he was cheating how would I know if he was telling the truth or lying to me. I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do. We have been together for 3 years and this stuff has only been going on for like 6 or 7 months. Help please.
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checking his phone is completely normal and if he removes the history, he knows you look at it and has something to hide....what phone does he have my guy uses his i pod touch and even though he removes the history if i press the back browser button i can see all the pages hes been on! great trick! he has no idea how i find what hes been watching so he put a pin on it! lol defo something to hide!
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Lrm
So glad i found this site. It really upsets me when my husband wanks while im in the house. im completely fine with it if im not there as i wank too when he is not around to please me and i dont mind if its to porn or not (some of the girls he likes are pretty hot so i completely get why he is wanking over them). But when im in the house....... i just dont get it. WHY DOESNT HE WANT ME TO BE INVOLVED!!! even if he is doing it to just wank and he doesnt want sex all he needs to do is say and i would wank him off give him a blow job etc i really dont understand!!!!!
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I think that there is a little bit of over reaction going on!

Here's my honest input:

Im a gay guy in a stable and long term relationship with my partner. My partner very rarely watches any kind of porn, however I do, all the time.

We are both happy in our relationship and enjoy a very active sex life. I'm still drawn to porn though, and I think it is a form of escapeism.

I have a VERY stressful job, and when watching porn I feel like Im in a different world, somewhere more simple and satisfying!

I have never expected my partner to act like a pornstar or look like one, I love him with all my heart, but if he asked me to stop, I don't think I could because it is stress relief.

I'm just so glad that it doesn't bother him like it bothers you... I didn't realise some people see it as such a big deal!!!
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Girls ... You obviously came looking for answers here, and while I understand you are hurting because of this being a woman myself - you are not listening to the men that are trying to explain things for you. We women want men to understand things about us better - well guess what. If we want that we have to understand they are different too. Men need to just get off some times. It's not about sex then it is just about getting off. It has nothing to do with you. I've had my man for about 6 years now and we both masturbate often. Some times I just want to Get off myself without spending an hour swetting. Sex normally takes longer and then there is the clean up as well. I usually dont watch porn because I think my imagination is a million times better than those fake, annoying pornstars. But my man, being a man - simple and all that - he needs to see some boobies! Men dont have the awesome imagination we do! And when we masturbate I would be willing to bet it's alot more feeling into
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Eva_Braun88
Wow guess there are a lot of douchbags like this. My ex was one. It doesn't get better. Only worse. Get rid of these men. They aren't worth getting hurt over.
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I guess he's bored and right now his addicted to it. Im a guy and I know it. Lol Im addicted to...
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im a boy and i mean i used to do the same and my girl friend got really mad and she even fretend to dump me so one day i just thought about it and well its sort of an addictive thing so every time i was on a computer i would type in the word porn in the search bar and just leave it there anytime i was on just to no that its there but edge myself to not do it at the same time. So praps you can get ur boyfriend to do the same
PS dont worry we dont think you are un-attractive cos i bet ur not, we just cant control are self
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@: frankyB
thank you very much for your reply it is so nice to have a males input...it is also so nice that you have tried to stop watching porn so that you can continue this relationship. some girls are fine with there man waking but the few out there that really hate it.....REALLY hate it and i would too threaten my man with it but is harder when kids are involved. i guess if he treated me how i like then i wouldn't want to catch him out but I'm actually obsessed with it now.... being in a mood with him gives me more attention than when I'm not so i guess I'm in a habit of it. weird i know.
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Hello again!
iv actually spoken to my other half about it again since, i waited until one night when we was gettin on really well & havin a laugh & just casually brought it up & told him how much it really upsets me, how i sit up until all hours of the night to go to bed with him cause i know if i leave him alone downstairs i know what he will get up to & he was actually quite understanding!! dont know how long it will last but he has promised me that he will not do it while i am upstairs in bed, i mean he has 2 days off a week while i am at work s o its not like he doesnt get time to do it while i am away! its not like im telling him not to just that i am really offended when he does it right under my nose!!
try it maybe?? not saying it will work but its kinda helped me..... so far so good!
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Hi guys. Well I can honestly say I have the most amazing boyfriend ever who absolutely spoils me but we have also had arguments about this issue!! In fact, it's the only thing we have ever argued about and to most I know it sounds pathetic as everything else is so great! The thing is.. I have never been jealous with any of my past boyfriends and they would always talk about what they downloaded etc and we would watch it together. It didn't bother me AT ALL! Now, I feel completely different. I think it's because I am completely in love with this guy and we spend almost all of our time together. It kills me thinking he is imagining having sex with other people!! The thing is I watch it sometimes if I'm using a vibrator or whatever as you get the visuals. I think that's one of the things guys like (seeing as when you have sex it's not as graphic). Therefore I do feel hypocritical but I know he's not bothered by me doing it all. I just can't get over it and want my mind-frame to be like it was with previous boyfriends.I hate it bothering me but can't help it. I am 23 and recently got a job as a teacher. He starts work in the afternoon so it's always on my brain all morning. He would never do it when I was with him (that is so disrespectful!!!) and when I have loads of time off that is not a problem. I don't know why I am so bothered about it as it's when I'm not there but I am and I really can't help it. I think it's because i feel like it's something he does behind my back. He did stop for about 3 months and said he would use his imagination!! But he got an i-phone recently and cleared the history on that instead. He swore on my life he hadn't watched it but I knew he must have and after a while he came clean! He felt very guilty because he lied to my face for about an hour and bought me a lot of presents to apologise! I think I was more bothered by the lying really though. I wrote him a really long letter explaining my feelings and asked if we could watch it together to begin with so I can get ok with it. He said he hardly ever does it and just clicks on a random video which is similar to me I guess but I can't help feeling COMPLETELY paranoid and I waste so much of the day thinking about it and how porn turns him on more than I do. I would say we have a good sex life but as I am living with him and his parents atm I have never dressed up for him and only talk dirty to him now and then so I just think I don't compare to these hot girls online. It's driving me mad :-( :-( Three weeks on we haven't watched it together (altho he puts something like babestation on the tv but doesn't watch it) and i know that when I go back to teaching next week, it will probably return to normal. ARGH!
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@: missj
so you have everything really apart from the one thing that actually makes you feel special with him. its nice to have a man that will give you everything but to a woman man is there to make you feel wanted sexy and to constantly give you that funny tummy feeling through compliments and actions. we are not getting any of these so in actual fact we aren't that lucky! my dude could be broke, not buy me anything not help with the bills but as long as he made me feel happy which would be to say nice things to me and give me the wanted feelings then i wouldn't care about the rest, i just need to feel like that to be happy with myself. maybe your guy is paranoid that you will leave him if he says nice things to you cos you are hot! im sensing that too
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Hi girls
I was in teh same situation as many of you. My fiance was always wanking off to porn and I hated it. We had sooo many arguments about it.

Finally I told him if he could stop wanking then I was leaving him. He tried but kept failing, but at least he admitted it to me.

Then someone suggested that I spank him whenever he did it. I had a long and embarassing chat with him and we finally agreed that if he wanked he would be spanked.

At last we had something that worked!

Try it and see if it works for you too.

Toni
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Hey Girls...
I'm a 22 year old married woman, and I've had the same problems.
My husband and I got married when we were 19 and have been together for a total of 4 years now :)
(we don't have any kids btw)
I just wanted to comment on this, as I have developed an understanding through countless arguments on the subject.
Up until about a year or so ago, it really bothered me that he would wait for me to go to bed so he could get the computer to himself.
I never really had a problem with the wanking thing in general, as I also do it, but only when he's out of the house. I felt that it was quite disrespectful when I was just in the next room and that he would wait up just to do it.
He has admitted that it's an addiction, and has cut down. I no longer feel worthless and like I'm not "doing my job properly", as he has said that sometimes he just can't be bothered with having sex. It's too much effort, and after a long day at work it's easier to just pleasure yourself and get to bed. It also seems to make him just fall to sleep immediately after we have sex, where as I wake up more. So this drives me mad when we have sex late at night and it's not always appropriate.
I'll admit, sometimes I have bad days where I feel fat and ugly, and it hurts when he does look at porn on those days.
I've probably rambled a bit here... but it's not as big a deal as you may think. Men don't seem to like talking about it as they feel guilty and ashamed.
If I walk in on my husband now, I react differently. I used to leave the room quickly and cry. Now I say "what you watching?" in a sexy voice... saunter over to him and ask him to give me a show. This usually ends in sex as he would rather pick up the energy to get the real thing at this stage lol

It's somethign that nearly ALL men do... some are just better at hiding it than others... and unfortunately it seems that we got slow ones :-/ lol
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I cannot believe that so many women have the same problem??
The only thing thats worrying me is that none of you have mentioned a couple of things that my boyfriend does and I would really love some advice if you can....
We've been together now for about 1 year and moved in together after around 6 months. We used to have sex about 3 times a day but now I've recently noticed that in the morning when my boyfriend wakes up, he grabs his earphones for his phone and will masturbate in the bed right next to me. I noticed he did this the other morning and when I stirred he decided to start having sex with me.
This morning he did the same thing and instead of letting him carry on and touch me I told him to get off me. He couldn't quite understand why and thinks that he hasn't done anything wrong because I didn't tell him there and then what my problem was.
I really dont know what to do about this...it makes me feel so sick when he does it, my heart races and i shake with anger.

Please someone help me????!!!!
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As a guy I feel pretty crap that I'm doing the same thing as all your partners but I agree a lot of us can't help ourselves, men get excited way too easily. The more time we have the more we do this, hence unemployed guys seem to do it more. Generally I think guys who are higher achievers and work harder don’t do it as much as they don’t have the time.

I'm one of those guys who has a girlfriend who wants to be touched in a certain way, I get told how to do things, where to put my hands, it feel very robotic and she's ticklish to the point of distraction. I used to find it a challenge but after 3 years I find I just want the release without the hassle.

You won’t stop him masturbating entirely but I think you can entice him back to you more often. You could start off with masturbating him whilst he’s watching porn. Make sex special for him, guys want to be wooed too. If all else fails maybe he needs ‘sex addicts anonymous’, I think I do.
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@: dudeyks
dudeyks,

here's a question and maybe you can help me understand. I don't want to get upset, but I can't help having feelings of inadequacy...he rarely cums when we have sex...he has to masturbate. He tells me is satisfied (when he doesn't cum) and I catch him 30 minutes later watching porn and masturbating. Can you help me understand????
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My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. I just moved in two months ago. About three weeks into it or so we had sex. It was both our first times and he says it was nice and he wanted to do it again. About a week later I got out of the shower early cause I just didn’t feel like taking a long one that day. I had left the bathroom door open so the mirror wouldn’t fog up so bad. The first thing I saw out the door was him watching porn and jerking off. I didn’t let him see me so I went back in the bathroom and just kinda waited a minute. He then got up and walked out of the room to get food and pretend like nothing happened. I was a statue, sick to my stomach freaked out. I sat on the bed and just kinda did nothing. He came back in the room and was all like whats wrong? I couldn’t even look at him. He then realized I had caught him and left the room. The entire day from then on was very horrible. I didn’t wana be near him at all. When I was finally able to make words come out we talked and he said he would never do it again. Two days ago we had a fight and I left them room cause I was annoyed. Then after a while I went back to the room but I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and just knew what he was doing. I opened the door and sure enough he was. I broke down crying this time not even trying to hide it and his reaction was just kinda like shit she caught me oh well. I started packing my bags though and he really freaked out. I don’t wana feel like im just some outlet for him to express his non sexual side. Ive had horrid self esteem all my life, been made fun of through school, by my own parents too. This just made it too overwhelming, now happening twice after he said it wouldn’t happen again. Now all this time later im afraid to go to sleep cause I have nightmares about it and wake up every morning feeling like ive been cheated on. And it doesn’t help with him being all hard from his morning wood, but he wont even let me be near him. He makes the dog sleep between us. I just feel completely disgusting and worthless to him. I really do love him but I don’t want to stay if I cant trust him and he complains that I don’t trust him all the time but I think I have pretty good reason not to trust some of the things he says. All I feel like im worth to him is the money I pay for our rent while hes in college.
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gimli2
I find that gf won't just sit there while you stare at there body and I like the variety you don't get the same thing
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Also the stress thing is 100% true. Im in college and come finals, well sometimes you just need a break.
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Well okay, first off ill start by saying this is probably an old post or something but w/e.

So yeah I'm male and ill say it is normal...
Trust me no matter how much sex a guy is getting he will always find time for a wank.

It really has nothing to do with you, it's not that he doesn't love you or that he doesn't find you attractive, it's just what guys do. Once we start there is no stopping us. So don't let it get to you, with or without porn he is going to do it. Actually you should probably masturbate too, it's good for you lol.

Okay so now you say you want sex but you aren't getting it. Well I have no doubt in my mind that in the past you have turned him down when he wants it and probably frequently, so he has come to expect that the answer will be no, and will not bother to initiate it any more. Do you ever initiate it and ask him?

Oh and believe it or not but a lot of guys don't like to talk about it with people, especially their missus.

Trust me this isn't something that should upset you, it's just life.

Oh and also I came across a comment about spanking your man every time he wanks...

I just want to go on record and say this person is a fucking idiot okay, we are not dogs. You wouldn't like it if we said get your arse to the kitchen and make us a sandwitch. Like I said before, guys are always going to do it so don't let it bother you so much
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I am finding it hard to fathom just how controlling you women are with your partners. If I had a partner which was telling me whether I can masturbate or not, i would be straight out of there. Your boyfriends have patience, I can say that much...
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women don't understand that there's a difference between us guys and them.we males are visual.whereas women are emotionl.we need to look at a pic or video to get aroused.not like you women.women get aroused mentally or verbally.i have a gf and we've been to gether over 2 years.i told her that i masturbate over porn(although i shouldn't have) and she got upset.i told her it's normal and i still love her.because im not gonna break up with her and go find that porn star.i don't know why women are self-concious.if your man mastubates, it doesn't mean he's not attracted to you.it's our private thing. it's like you women when you use the vibrator.we don't over react and say why are you using the vibrato? you think my d**k isn't good for you?<BR>masturbating over porn doesn't mean we're attracted to that porn star. because if we are,we won't be in a relationship with you in the first place.it's normal for us guys to masturbate as long as there's a healthy relationship and it doen's affect sex life.just be open minded and get over it women.if my gf masturbates over a guy in a porn movie,i really won't be angry.because i know she's with me but not him.<BR>men know that women's fantasy is to be with a rich man who is tall,handsome and has the perfect body,etc. it's normal.so women need to stop the drama and need to stop insecurity.
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@: beamer
one more thing.why women make ridiculous assumptions? if your man jerks off over porn doesn't mean you are fat,ugly,not good enough and he doesn't like you anymore. did he say that? did he leave over that porn star? no he didn't but you just made that up.
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Hi, I don't know how old this is and whether it needs more input from a guy. But I thought I'd put in my two pence/cents.

I've been with my girlfriend for about 4-5 years and the sex is great. But I still watch and jerk off to porn.

I started watching porn about 10 years ago, and I like to cum just before I sleep. It actually helps me sleep. Not every night is my gf in the mood for sex and not every night do we really 'have time'.

Sex is something to be really enjoyed - we tend to fuck for at least an hour, and if I want to cum before bed, it doesn't work out all the time. So if I want to cum quickly before I go to sleep, porn is helpful.

For another thing, masturbation is about a certain kind of release that sex isn't. Sex is about two people coming together and having an awesome time. Masturbation tends to be about getting the end result, the orgasm.

I think one of the problems a lot of people seem to be having is that it's all secretive. My girlfriend and I are completely open about porn. I watch porn, she watches porn. We keep a porn blog together. If we're horny and the other isn't in the mood, porn is always there.

Lastly, I enjoy porn. It's that simple. Not all porn (in fact, I dislike the majority of porn, a lot of it is far to crass for my tastes). It's like watching a very happy short movie. If you stop thinking of porn as some thing thing your boyfriend does to escape and instead something that you could both enjoy singly or together, it becomes a different thing. Try find some porn you enjoy. I understand that a lot of porn isn't suited to women - but there is some great erotic literature out there. Try it for yourself - you never know what you'll discover.
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it than the staged, fake, feelingless stuff they watch. Some times i like to imagine things I would never ever want to do in real life, and sertainly not with my man. He is the one I want. I love him for being the sexual being he is and I dont mind walking in on him watching porn from time to time. Some times I'll leave him to it, some times I'll join in, some times i show off the real thing while he is watching his show. Sometimes i give him a bj while he watches. And if he catches me i Get the same treatment back. I know it's a thing he needs sometimes alone. And i dont take it personally. The porn girls may have amazing bodies, But their nasty! Men understand that is not how normal women look like. I dont have a great body at all (hey - i love to eat!) and I have no idea how he can get turned on by me when he has the chance on women looking like models, but I try to remind myself that its my own bad selfasteem thats talking. he loves me and desires me despite all imperfection because we understand eachother and accept our difference in needs. We are very open when talking about sex, and knowing more and more about his kinks has made me dare to tell him about mine. And it has lead to the most s amazing sex life. I dont like everything of his, and vise versa so Im more than happy for him to live out those fantasies on the net than with someone else. Then again I love him being a horny bastard.

But for you women who is staying with a man that refuses to touch you when you try hard with the dress ups and talking and are actually trying - DUMP HIM. That is just plain selfish and lazy and you are worth much more. But for the rest of you - stop thinking it's about you! It's not!!! He just wants to get off or see something nasty he will be discusted by the minute he's done. Men are pigs - But they can be trained to be your kind of pig if you just open your sexual mind a little bit ;)
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Ladies!
I have a suggestion. Do the same thing your man is doing. Look at porn alone as well. If you do not have a dildo or vibrator than purchase one. Use it while watching porn. If he webcams with girls online..well there are always guys to webcam with as well. Have fun with it. Enjoy it as much as your man does. Don't hide it from him. Make sure he catches you doing it. Or hide it from him as well if you choose. But, why should he be the only one to do such things as he is doing. Its only fair! Right? ;) Maybe he will catch you doing it and will enjoy watching you and maybe enjoy it together. Or when you know he is going to watch porn and jerk off...dress up in something sexy or naked. And walk in on him seductively and if he gets embarrassed and turns it off ask him to turn it back on or to continue doing what he was doing because it excites you and turns you on. Play with yourself or use a dildo or vibrator while you both watch what he was watching when you walked in. Or stroke his cock, suck it, fuck it.
Than you will both be satisfied..have a great time, have a good night sleep. He will not have to be sneaky, you will not have to worry, be upset or mad. Have some fun with it or choose to do be sneaky and do it alone separately. Its up to you. You are in control of your actions.. Which ever way you choose...it will bring up a conversation about it anyway. You can get mad, scream and yell and cause a fight and have your sexual relationship with him worse or you can do it in a better way. That's if you want it better with him...No matter which way you approach him, the conversation will be brought up... Because if he catches you watching porn alone, he will question it eventually. And if you choose to walk in and join him, it will be brought up after. So...ladies...I suggest you buy yourself something sexy, a laptop and a few toys...You can also masturbate and have an amazing orgasm or two or more as well...alone or with your man! ;)
2 can play as well...alone or together
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Sorry ladies but some of you seem to be overreacting a bit.

I'm an 18y/o male and I've been with my gf for 3 years now. She knows I've always watched porn. We were talking about it one day and she told me to put it on and stripped off. That was one of the biggest turn ons ever for me!
I love her with all my heart and we have sex regularly. BUT, I do enjoy watching porn when she isn't around. This doesn't hurt her she just knows I have urges and need to release them from time to time.I can tell you that masturbating is completely different to sex and sometimes I feel like masturbating, sometimes I want sex, I could want head, or I could just want her to jerk me off. The sex is great, it's just sometimes I fancy something different; when she needs a clitoral orgasm, I go down on her instead. I even bought her a rabbit and a bullet. She's used them on her own, on cam for me (she is 18 haha) and got me to use them on her when she wants to.
There are different ways of getting pleasure and sometimes straight up sex just isn't the be all and end all. Try different things, help him masturbate, maybe masturbate in front of him or even watch porn together. If I caught her watching porn I would just be turned on by the fact that she's masturbating and would help her out or join in.
Overall I'm saying that watching porn isn't bad or cheating and it shouldn't make you feel down about yourselves. If your guy waits for you to sleep to watch porn, then you just need to spice up your sex life. (Like I said plain sex isn't always what everyone wants). Do something different, share fetishes and even maybe tell him what porn would turn you on and give it a go. This could turn your sex life around and you'd find him watching a lot less anyway just because he knows that he can have something different from you. Not all guys are complete asses to women. Don't take it personally, use it as a stepping stone for changing things that you do in the bedroom and maybe have a look on AnnSummers for something you'd like. My gf loves sex with me but even she told me that using toys on her was amazing simply because IT WAS DIFFERENT. G'waaaan! Try something new! :)
Sorry for the long winded comment, if you need any ideas feel free to ask me, but I would recommend thinking of something for your man and surprising him one day. He'll probably return the favour then too :)
Good luck!
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I had a gf before & all she wanted was for me to get on top of her. The same position all the time just bored me in the end. Maybe u have been together for a long time & things have gone boring 2? Good idea is to get things back on track. Ladies there is no shame surprising us guys with a date out alone just the 2 of you. If there is a problem in my relationship then if my gf comes 2 me & says what's wrong plus how it makes her feel. If he really loves u then he won't want u to feel like that, maybe a solution like some ideas he wants 2 do in the bedroom. Remember talk 2 him not nag coz like most guys & I'm one of them if she nags I just switch off, I.e. In 1 ear & out the other!
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I totally understand where you are coming from. I've been married for three years and we have two kids before the kids we used to have sex almost everyday, that changed after the kids however it was only for a few months now it's all back to normal again we have sex often and always try to please him as much as I can even when I'm not in the mood I still do it. One day I was very tires from work and the kids so I told my husband that I wasnt in the mood after about half hour later I went to bed he stayed up but for some weird reason I couldn't sleep something at the back of my mind was telling me he was masturbating so I got up opened the door and saw him close the computer quickly and I realised he has his hand in his pants I took the computer and saw porn I confronted him and all he could say was that he really wanted to have sex that night. I got really upset because I hardly reject him even when I'm tired and once that I did he does that now I can't even look at him the same way as before as that behaviour disgusted me. It's been a few months since that happened and I can forget it it keeps coming in my mind, to me that is cheating I don't care what others say because he has taken matters into his own hands (literally). If he can masturbate over looking at other women then that's wrong. That it's unacceptable.

By the way I'm in very good shape after the kids so it's not as it my body has changed much.
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This is a general feedback, not specific to the messanger

Ok, it may sound chauvinistic in places... but I am honestly commenting from both sides of the fence here, I have had a couple of serious relationships in my 31 years. A previous long term relationship (9 years) was a constant battle in which sex was a big problem on my partners part, she used sex as leverage or a tool to get what she wanted, anytime I was frustrated forget about it!... eventually I resulted to sorting myself out, the difference is, I didn't care if she knew or not. But now I have a partner who likes it more than I do, she is very open about what she wants how, she wants it and when she wants it.... its all about the communication.

As a man I can tell you we are very simple creatures. The likely hood that the problem is one of two things.

The first.... is stress relief, its simple... as a man in a stressful job, I find it can be a big "release" Its not a personal thing against my partner, I may just not want sex, but tension release instead.

The second... Your man is simply not getting what he wants/needs, as I mentioned in my first paragraph I had a partner that held out, sex became limited and uninteresting and it was only on her terms. Think about it!!! If you haven't given your man oral in 5 years, he is definitely down there smashing away to blowjob videos, if he has forgotten what it's like for you to dress up for him, then he will be down there sorting himself out to lingerie fetish porn... Talk to him, communicate and find out what it is that is "missing" and if you already know the simple things that he likes but know yourself that you are holding out, then, i hate to say it but it could be your own fault.

The best way to have a happy sex life is to communicate with each other. The more one or both of you bottle up your emotions the worse it will get.
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I totally concur with what you say "mans-opinion". I think it comes down to communication.

I'm in a long-term relationship, have been for about 3 years and the sex life is pretty sporadic. We have great sex when it happens, but more often than not my partner is too tired to be interested. I've taken to masturbating when she's asleep to satisfy my urges, and sometimes that can be quite regular (twice a day) or at other times I can go without it for weeks (there are other things to occupy oneself with). I use porn, but I don't go for anything that is degrading or IMO "weird" (guess that's pretty subjective anyway). My partner doesn't know but I reckon she probably suspects. I guess on some level I feel sad that she isn't interested as much as when we first got together (like as many times a day as possible!!) but then I realise that she's just physically exhausted at the end of the day and sex is the last thing she wants.

I would like to tell her but I'm worried that she won't take it very well, and in the end, am I just being selfish wanting more sex? Our relationship is healthy and we care a lot for each other but I guess we just have different needs when it comes to sex.

I am concerned that if I don't say something about it things will get worse and worse. Even now I don't try to turn her on as much because I don't think she'll respond and I almost find it easier to just masturbate. If this continues, we could end up like the stereotypical married couple that never sleep together.

So I guess my advice to girls out there and the OP is: talk to your man if you know he masturbates, or suspect it. Don't attack him and assume it's because you're not good enough (don't be insecure). Be upfront but open and you'll see that you both have needs. If you love each other, then I think you can work it out!
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Confront him and say next time you feel like this try having sex with me
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Im sorry but i read like 20 comments and got sooo angry at some of the comments from some men in this, how can they say the issue is with us.. and that we dont try and make ourselves look sexy? You could be the sexiest woman in the world and your man will still watch porn here and there! They enjoy the thrill of watching porn and lets face it maybe doing something they shouldnt on their own. Ok its not good if they start turning to wanking more then turning to you, but this is speaking from a young attractive girl who goes gym and makes an effort to look good on a daily basis, my bf still wanks to porn and doesnt feel like having sex, maybe the issue is about whats going on in these guys heads rather then whats wrong with us or our bodies?!!! p.s i never say no to anything that is suggested in the bedroom, i always try something once!
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My BF webcams, after he cums he deletes the women from his lists. We are in a LDR and I wish he would do it with me more often. Also, he contacts me right after he cums, which is very interesting. Anyone have any ideas about this. It is literally a few minutes after he is done, he reaches out to me.


All the girls, women usually look somewhat like me. Reading here has helped a lot, both men n ladies opinions have.
I like that definition : masturbation is to finish off n relax.

He has a very stressful job right now. I have made my fair share of mistakes. Wearing boring old lady clothes, refusing, not initiating, getting mad, nagging.
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I found this page because I searched for the exact title that the author posted! After reading all of the posts I have now decided that yes, it is perfectly normal for guys to watch porn, and also perfectly normal (but very irrational) for us women to get upset by it. I'm 33, I have 3 children, but I have stayed in shape, I have very bad body image due to having three c-sections and I'm not getting any younger. My partner and I have been together 12 years. He likes to watch 'teen' porn. You know, the bald I'm underage and virginal looking but really I'm an old whore porn? NOT kiddie porn. I have broke my heart and cried and cried over the years, thinking I'm not good enough, that I obviously don't satisfy him, blah blah blah and I'm sick of it. After reading that I am not going crazy,I actually feel a lot better. Ladies, shall we all look at it like this instead:
We are not catching our men with their dicks in another woman's hand, we are catching him with his OWN dick in his OWN hand.. Men are visual, they need the mental images flashing before their eyes because they don't have the imaginations of us girls who (usually) don't need visual stimulation to get off. From now on, I am going to buy my own sex toys, take time out to pleasure my own body (maybe even with the help of some porn LOL) and just chill the hell out over stupid stuff that I can't change. My man loves me, or else he would be with someone else in the real world instead of for ten minutes having someone else in his head. We don't own our partners bodies, or their minds, anymore than they own ours. If I keep getting hurt over my lover masturbating then I'm a hypocrite because I would be insulted if he caught me doing it and got upset. It's a release, a good feeling that lasts for a few seconds and is then finished and here is the ultimate point..... FORGOTTEN. I don't have sex as often with him anymore as I would like, and I envy those couples who get the chance to, but I have a busy life, children give you no privacy and we do it when we can and its still fantastic. It's when he stops wanking and starts cheating that I will get upset, from now on, I'm making the decision to let my man do what he wants in the privacy of our own home and be thankful that he doesn't need to leave the house to get his 'happy ending' which would be much much more hurtful.
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my boyfriend wanks when im asleep next to him and he comes on me or if im, not hell wank over porn! ill always be ready for him but no hed rather fit lesbos or big titted slim girls girls, id rather be single and find someone else but I love him too much1 whatd do I do???
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Have Yu Guys Ever Thought About When He's Watching It., C'mon To Him As He Watches It And Maybe Give Him A Blow Job Or Let Him Continue To Watch It And Get On Top If Him And Ride Him As He Watches It. Its Probably Fantasies He See On The Porn Site He Really Wants To Do In Real Life. Ijs. That Would Be Something To Try. Afterwards He'll Probably Be More Into Sex With Yu. Remembering That Night.
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If your man is watching porn when you're already giving it up he either has a porn addiction or he is addicted to sex. I was with a man who was the same but you can't always blame it on us girls. I am 18 tall tan fit and I can confidently say I am good at pleasing and have a high sex drive so when I have a man I'm making him ejaculate more than 7 times a day but I've had men like this who STILL watched porn and jacked off. so its nothing personal although it might feel that way men like to blame women for anything they can
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So not normal in my opinion.
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hi im so glad i found this page as i to am on this boat its like i just cant get it out of my head and by reading some off these comments its made me feel like my feelings are normal.. i have bin with my partner for 10 years we have 3 children i am 25 and hes 43 BIG age gap.. i have always bin slim and always explored in the bedroom with him trying new things dressing up role play we had fun. well I thought we did. he tells me he loves me and that im beautiful everyday he tells me hes parranoid that im gunna leave him for some one younger,and that hes a lucky man to be with someone like me.... its all bull shit, i took the kids to a party the otherday and he said he didnt want to go because hed only just got in from work. wich was fine.. about an hour later i decided i would take the baby home as i walked in the door there was the pram behind it so i couldnt get in, so i shouted him to move it he replied one min.. i barged my way through the door as it was heavily raining, i heard his belt on his jeans as its got metle on it. and as i was on my way upstairs i heard the ps3 beep and turn off, when i got upstairs he met me at the top as if he didnt want me to go in the bedroom. his face bright red glaze look over his eyes. (his sex face) and the tv was blank with hdmi written on it. i just knew what hed bin doing so i demanded to see his search history he wouldnt let me look. he went as far as reseting his settings on the ps3 to wipe everything, he took the leads out of the back off it and hid the pad... in the end he addmited it to me,but at first he said he was bored then he said its just a film... i was fuming so fucking hurt i felt like hed cheated on me thats how its felt.. the worst part is i lost a baby 4 weeks ago i was 16 weeks and i have bin down and moody gutted while tryna keep my head above water... so we hadnt really been having our useual healthy sex life i feel fat around my middle i feel my boobs arnt the same as they used to be i just feel anging and he nos my issues with myself.iv had 3 kids in 5 years so my bodys changed a hell of a lot i cant cope with the thought of him getting off over someone else cos im depressed i lost my baby.. thats how i feel.anyway on tuesday i made the move on him and it was amazing so wed i thought ill do the same went to bed i made the move and again amazing then thursday i thought about him all day thinking what were gunna do later he tells me the same in a txt while hes at work says he cant stop thinking about it and then thursdy night i catch him getting off over someone else....im not mentaly stable enough to think about the one person who i gave up everything for and has bin devoted to him and him only can anyone explain this because i cant get my head around it.. how do i just get over this and move on i cant even look him in the eye i dont wanna kiss him i dont wanna be touched my him im hurting why?? xxx
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Hey,

Idk if this is thread is still goin, but to the OP. I totally feel where you're coming from.

My boyfriend has been watching porn for a really long time. We used to watch it together before I was pregnant and have all types of crazy sex. Then I got pregnant and I thought it would just magically stop. I would be laying in bed and the computer is in the same room, so i would stay up and watch him wank and fall asleep crying. He knew that I did this every night and would still do it. One night I got so angry I almost broke the computer.... that's another story. >_>

It really does feel like I'm being cheated on even though "He's never gonna see them in real life, he's never gonna meet them, or talk to them." He's just gonna watch them get f* then come back to me and want to get f*'d the same way.

When you get pregnant and you're whole body changes, you as a person change. I never had any self image issues and as soon as I was 7 months pregnant I thought the world was going to end because I was fat. =( I thought I was too fat and he needed to watch hot chix in the internet. =(

Well.. I found this page last night while my bf and I were arguing about him watching porn. We were typing in Notepad to each other because writing is easier to me. Towards the end I started crying and told him that it doesn't feel like he loves me anymore. It just feels like I'm a fly buzzing around his head all the time. =( I'm always checking the history, looking for cookies, coming to check on him every 5 mins when he's in the room alone on the computer, staying up while i'm in bed watching him do whatever on the computer, trying to catch in going to a porn site so i can be man. I'm soooo freakin paranoid. I hate it. We talked and found out a bunch of problems in our relationship. So now we're gonna try and work on them.

I hope I can trust him.. and quit being so paranoid. Well it's really nice to know that I'm not alone. TY =P
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I'm going through the same exact thing as you, my boyfriend shows almost no sexual interest in me anymore. I feel so depressed, I am 8 wks pregnant and I still have a decent body so I have a really hard time understanding this. In fact I have lost weight since our sex life has dwindled, when I was a little heavier it seemed better. Yet he would always be honest with me and tell me he agreed with me when I would say I needed to loose a few pounds. I know I am attractive cause guys tell me all the time and I go to school full-time and get hit on almost everyday at school.
He is an addict and really addicted to porn and loves to wack off, and I wouldn't care so much if I felt like I was important to him too. But he only seems to half ass want to please me sexually about once a month. Otherwise it's maybe every other week or so and he has to be watching porn at the same time almost everytime or at least be watching it first. He gets mad at me if I tell him that this bothers me, says I'm insecure. He rarely shows me that he's attracted to me and when I ask he gets angry, he's even said that he doesn't want to puff me up, I think maybe he thinks if he tells me I'm beautiful that I will think it and that I may leave him. So I know he loves me but I can't talk to him about how I feel and I am so depressed and frustrated all of the time. I love him so much and I just want to feel loved back. He also says that I confuse love with sex but is it wrong for me to want to be pleased too? I do what he wants whenever he wants it.
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Hi. Just wanted to share with you my similar experience, and hopefully give you a little bit of relief that there is hope for a man with porn addiction. My partner and I have been together for almost 7 years (since we were 16) and from the very beginning we decided our relationship was going to be based on love and trust. We also decided not to have sex until we were 21. One night we were just talking and telling eachother everything, when i asked if he had watched porn. He became very quiet, and he knew he couldn't lie to me. I suppose I am a fairly discerning person and he isn't a real good liar so he told the truth. he confessed that he had an addiction to porn and getting himself off to it. I was absolutely mortified. I knew from the day i met him that i wanted to marry him, and i had vowed to keep myself for him. He was appologetic and told me he had tried very hard to stop but he said it was an addiction. I told him I deserved better and that I had no intention of staying with him unless he was willing to work with me on beating the addiction. He told me he was willing to work on beating the addiction and that he wanted to be the man i deserved. From then on, we spoke about it often and he stuffed up quite a few times. Eventually, he decided to get a net filter for himself. (Even though he works in IT and could disable it at any time) and We treated it the same like any other addiction and wouldn't let him get into a situation where he would be tempted. Just like someone with an alcohol addiction, he had times where he would relapse and after 4 months of not watching, he'd call me and tell me he'd done something aweful. Even though I was angry at those times and hurt, the most important thing to remember is that it IS an addiction and it has nothing to do with you. It took every inch of strength for me not to feel devalued by the situation, but I know he has always loved me. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that, If you are in the situation where your partner is watching porn, it is important to understand that he isn't watching it because you aren't good enough. He is doing it because he isn't strong enough not to. While beating this thing isn't easy, it takes commitment from the both of you to beat it. My boyfriend hasn't watched porn for 5 years now and has helped other people with their addictions. the first step is to have him addmit he is an addict.. and then if he wants help it's up to you to be there for him. good luck and i hope your man, with your help can get through this test and come out stronger on the other side.
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thanks guys, sorry i have not been writing i didn't realize i had responses as they were all going to my junk mail... but again thanks. It is so nice to know we are not the only ones. WELL HE IS STILL DOING IT!

AND guys don't try and comfort us when we are upset that you have just done it WE REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH US! we were not good enough then so we.. well i.. wont be what you need when you do want me!


DJ25000.... i am sorry to hear your pain! its great you want sex with her all the time though but yeah i think from what you are saying that it is over...coming from a woman. it sounds like she is fading away slowly... I do hope things are better for you now though. you have a reason to watch porn... my guy really doesn't i will happily get pleased every night!

NEZZ.... wow I cant believe you actually let him in the bedroom with you watching crying and he knew! asshole! Great though that you are going to try and work this out let me know how this goes for you?

i guess watching porn isnt as bad as going out and getting it as dj25000 said it is so easy to get it nowadays! so im trying to just think of that....
but i told him straight.... how would you feel if i sat their and did what you did watching fit men with six packs and tight asses? HOW WOULD YOU F* FEEL?

maybe my best just isn't good enough for him. but after the last argument over it after he had done it he txted me when i went down stairs and said come back to bed and you have no idea, but i do love you.... what the hell does this mean i have no idea?? guys help please xxxx
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I am SO happy to have found this...I have looked everywhere on the internet and have found it extremely hard to find women of the same mind~!!!

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now. Early on in our relationship we discussed pornography and I told him that I disapproved of it...he said that it was a very common thing for him, but that he would stop.

He was very good and stopped for almost a whole year!! I have been so proud of him. But, he recently left town for a two week class and a few days ago he admitted that he had been watching a large amount of porn again. I feel bad about it now, but I got very upset. I yelled, I cried...and in the end I told him he had to stop or else I couldn't stay in the relationship. It upset me the most because I already told him about my feelings towards it and I was/am terrified that it will become a habit again. We eventually had a very nice discussion about it and he said he's going to work harder to stop. I told him I would do whatever it took to help him.

For me...it just feels like when he watches it, it's like him saying I'm not enough for him or I don't satisfy him fully. I already have pretty low self-esteem and the porn just makes it a thousand times worse. I want to be the only one he thinks about when he's doing his business. It just hurts so much when I think of it and sometimes I feel sick to my stomach.

Luckily, as I said...we had a good talk about it. I told him all the reasons I didn't like it and how it made me feel and in the end I think he really got it.

I have my fingers crossed anyway!!!!
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this is exactly how i feel but how do u move on when you just cant get it out of your head everytime u look at him? iv bin with my partner 10 years we have 3 children and a healthy sex life but i feel like ending with him. and ill cross my fingers for you hun chin up because its not just us if you get me x
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thanks guys, sorry i have not been writing i didn't realize i had responses as they were all going to my junk mail... but again thanks. It is so nice to know we are not the only ones. WELL HE IS STILL DOING IT!

AND guys don't try and comfort us when we are upset that you have just done it WE REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH US! we were not good enough then so we.. well i.. wont be what you need when you do want me!


DJ25000.... i am sorry to hear your pain! its great you want sex with her all the time though but yeah i think from what you are saying that it is over...coming from a woman. it sounds like she is fading away slowly... I do hope things are better for you now though. you have a reason to watch porn... my guy really doesn't i will happily get pleased every night!

NEZZ.... wow I cant believe you actually let him in the bedroom with you watching crying and he knew! a**hole! Great though that you are going to try and work this out let me know how this goes for you?

i guess watching porn isnt as bad as going out and getting it as dj25000 said it is so easy to get it nowadays! so im trying to just think of that....
but i told him straight.... how would you feel if i sat their and did what you did watching fit men with six packs and tight asses? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

maybe my best just isn't good enough for him. but after the last argument over it after he had done it he txted me when i went down stairs and said come back to bed and you have no idea, but i do love you.... what the hell does this mean i have no idea?? guys help please xxxx
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I need help! Last night me and my boyfriend were in bed.I went to sleep and woke up to my bf watching some women talking on the adult channel with her tits out.Its made me feel really worthless and he don't understand that.I can't look him in the eye anymore.Is it normal for him to do that??? Its like he's 13 again.Hes 25!!!!!
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RaNdOmPoPcOrN
@: demi
Omg dumb his srry ass!
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