why does my wife

Iam a married man of over 30 years, during this time my wife and i have enjoyed a wild and varied sex life where we have tried many different things. some i wanted some she wanted but always with each others agreement. We have 3 children, the youngest being 18 so there are no problems such as looking after the young children.however this last year she just does not want to make love with me. after all the usual, sorry babe too tired, or sorry babe wrong time of the month, or sorry babe gotta headache, i was accepting this untill i caught her masterbating reguarly during my "sleep pattern" and moaning like i never heard her during all the sex that we had when everything seemed "normal". it seems that if i mention an early night then it's sorry babe, not ready tonight for what ever reason but if i wake up later on shes bringing herself off. Why cant i bring her off if she doesn't want penetration. whats wrong with mutial masterbation. HELP i'm afraid i'm going to lose her and i dont know what to do

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why does my wife